this guy is funny

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    Feb 17, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9WHyjrMC2g&feature=player_embedded
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    Feb 17, 2012 4:10 AM GMT


    There. For us lazy folks.

    That was cute and a bit heartbreaking. Reason why I very much hate gay bars.
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    Feb 17, 2012 4:14 AM GMT
    thanks one... Im having a lazy low tech dayicon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 17, 2012 4:59 AM GMT
    How sad. I couldn't finish. That's like watching someone bleed to death. Is that really how young people experience going out now or was this a total goof? I seem to recall my 20s as being very fun. Did someone break the gay bars?
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:19 AM GMT
    Almost funny.
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    Feb 17, 2012 6:44 AM GMT
    theantijock saidHow sad. I couldn't finish. That's like watching someone bleed to death. Is that really how young people experience going out now or was this a total goof? I seem to recall my 20s as being very fun. Did someone break the gay bars?


    No. It's pretty realistic for gay bars. I can vouch from personal experience. Everyone is so fearful of rejections that no one really makes any move. We just mostly stare at one another. Then the ones that were brave/buzzed enough to make a move would get shot down, and the other guy got a brief confidence boost for rejecting someone. Unless you look like you just stepped out of an A&F catalog, this is what the bar/club scene is for guys who go stag.

    And no, this isnt just isolated to my experience either. I've taken the time to sit and observe other people, while recovering from partying on the dance floor with my friends. I've seen guys who I'd give a high 7 or 8 get shot down. The whole scene is pretty shallow and pathetic.
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    Feb 17, 2012 7:02 AM GMT
    Tried the random bar hookup thing. Never again.

    BTW. A guy like that can't be single. Bummer about the smoking though.
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    Feb 17, 2012 10:00 AM GMT
    I've drug myself out to a gay bar. Not knowing another gay man I was forced to go alone and he actually managed to pretty much describe my experience of managing to remain completely alone for the entire evening. I made the mistake of not drinking, wearing a trucker hat or bobbing my head though. Thanks for the tutorial; with his instruction I will be much improved not fitting in or making any connections with people for next time...
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    Feb 17, 2012 10:31 AM GMT
    I aways go by myself, it is pretty much as described.

    Sad as it is, phone apps seem to be a better way to meet guys in this area.
  • Buddha

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    Feb 17, 2012 10:44 AM GMT
    theantijock saidHow sad. I couldn't finish. That's like watching someone bleed to death. Is that really how young people experience going out now or was this a total goof? I seem to recall my 20s as being very fun. Did someone break the gay bars?


    Haha that was actually a really accurate description of the video! But yes, I can relate to what this guy's saying icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 17, 2012 3:29 PM GMT
    One1313 said...It's pretty realistic for gay bars. I can vouch from personal experience. Everyone is so fearful of rejections that no one really makes any move. We just mostly stare at one another. ...The whole scene is pretty shallow and pathetic.

    &
    buddha_the_god said...Haha that was actually a really accurate description of the video! But yes, I can relate to what this guy's saying icon_razz.gif


    Thanks for the confirmation. That's what it looked like, particularly when I considered what I've often read on this forum, and especially when I consider all the hostility expressed by many of the younger guys here.

    No wonder you kids are so frustrated. You broke being gay!

    Man, life is hard enough. This is supposed to be the fun part. I had a freaking blast in my 20s at the bars. It wasn't a place to go and judge each other. It was sanctuary from the heteros. Sunday T by the sea at the Marlin, where the boys are, Friday nights at the Copa, the Monster in Key West. I have zero bad memories of that.

    What a curious dynamic, that as we become more accepted by the world, we are turning on ourselves? At least this is one thing you can't blame on your elders. We knew how to party. You guys need to fix this.
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    Feb 17, 2012 3:39 PM GMT
    Does anyone have that guys phone number ? icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 17, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    I am afraid much of the reason to hang out at a gay bar has gone for good. In the heyday, we went to gay bars because:

    * we wanted to meet someone special
    * we wanted to be ourselves without fears
    * we wanted to socialize with our friends

    Of course, the reason to go to a bar in the first place is to drink - that's how the bar makes money - but that was not on anyone's primary agenda.

    Nowadays, you meet someone special at Grindr or eHarmony; you don't have to be afraid of your straight friends, and you probably want to hang with them, too.

    I had a boyfriend, once, who was twenty years older than me. He remembered the times before AIDS, when you went to a new town and didn't ever need a hotel room, because someone would take you in no matter what. Then AIDS came along, and with it less fear of homophobia, and suddenly there was no obligation to feed and house your own kind - because there was no "kind."

    I am afraid gay bars belong into the Smithsonian by now.
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    Feb 17, 2012 4:40 PM GMT
    themachine said...I am afraid gay bars belong into the Smithsonian by now.


    A lot of what you say is true but it doesn't sound like bars are the problem. This doesn't seem a matter of venue because they aren't any less judgmental of or hostile with each other on internet forums, nor, from what I see posted here, on their grindrs. And based upon that I'm gonna guess eHarmony isn't quite so harmonious either (not that any self-respecting gay man should use such a homophobic site in the first place).

    That's why I wonder if it isn't an issue of the dynamics of some socialization process as the world integrates us on an equal plane. It is often joked that if a certain group wasn't being attacked from outside of itself, it would be infighting. Is this phenomenon an example of that? If so, is there a healthier way to work through it? Personally, I think they all just need to get laid. But that's my solution for all the world's problems so you can't really go by me.