Love or Career?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2012 4:03 AM GMT
    Hi All,

    I'm dating this guy for some weeks now. We see each everyday as we work in the same company and we've been spending weekends together lately. Now I think I've already reached that state where one could say that I've already fallen for him. We do have some issues to work on but overall I'm very happy with him and I'm so thankful for the day he has found me. Cheesy as this may sound but I guess he is the answer to what I have been wishing for for so long. And I know he feels the same way.

    Then suddenly came this job opportunity in Germany. I've been desperately trying to get a job there for over a year now and have somehow given up on it since I met this guy. Now this job opportunity is even in Munich, the very exact city where I want to live!

    It's not that I don't have a good job here. My current job gives me a fairly comfortable life and in fact I'm supposed to get promoted in a couple of months. It's just that I want to earn more for the same job that I do and I really just love living in Europe so I want to move back. So this is now all very confusing to me.

    Two answered prayers but unfortunately, it seems that I can only get one of them.

    If you're in my shoes, which one would you choose?

    Andy
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    Feb 17, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    He mentioned a couple of times recently that he thinks he's starting to fall for me.

    Now I just told him about the job opportunity and he said he doesn't want to lose me. Then he mentioned that he loves me. icon_eek.gif

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    Feb 17, 2012 4:59 AM GMT
    I've been living with all heart and for love since I can remember. Now, it's time to find and focus on a career and schooling. Love will find a way; I won't brush it aside if/when it comes my way... huh-hum!icon_cool.gif

    "Look, I can appreciate this. I was young too, I felt just like you. Hated authority, hated all my bosses, thought they were full of shit. Look, it's like they say, if you're not a rebel by the age of 20, you got no heart, but if you haven't turned establishment by 30, you've got no brains. Because there are no story-book romances, no fairy-tale endings. So before you run out and change the world, ask yourself, 'What do you really want?'" - Kevin Spacey [Buddy], in "Swimming With Sharks"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:01 AM GMT
    Career. Too many people screw up their life because they took a chance on something that they could not control. You can control your career and the direction you go.
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:13 AM GMT
    Although, I've always been a romantic!

    Photobucket
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:14 AM GMT
    c.a.r.e.e.r!!!!!!!!
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:15 AM GMT
    You've only been dating him for a few weeks, you guys should sit down and have a little chat.
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:17 AM GMT
    career
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Feb 17, 2012 5:23 AM GMT
    career dude.

    your relationship wont last
    GO TO GERMANY
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:26 AM GMT
    If its something you've always wanted, your career, go for it!! im sure theres some hot guys in germany icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:27 AM GMT
    Career. Run, don't walk.
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:30 AM GMT
    Claystation saidYou've only been dating him for a few weeks, you guys should sit down and have a little chat.


    ^ this. It would be a different story if you'd been together for a few months, but weeks - pretty dicey.
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:32 AM GMT
    It just depends on which you want more..

    Everyone up here seems to think "career" is something you're in control of.. and that its the safer option, cause love is risky and stuff

    Well Im gonna be the odd man out and say: career is risky too!... you can lose your career just as easily as you can lose love, Ive seen it happen all the time.... and if you move so far away and it goes wrong, you'll be sorry for having left a potential love behind

    But on the other hand.. if you stay, you run the risk of the love going wrong

    So you jsut need to ask yourself... which worst-case scenario do you like better? risking it all for love, and failing? Or risking it all for a career.. and failing? The one you wouldnt be sorry for .. is the one I would go for myself

    but thats just me ;)
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:34 AM GMT
    I was in your shoes eight months ago (although I was looking at Cali rather than Germany). Went with my career, regretted it for about a week and then didn't look back. He sounds like a great guy, but guys come and go--investment in yourself is permanent.

    ... and congratulations on the job offer; alles gute!
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    Feb 17, 2012 5:35 AM GMT
    Career.
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Feb 17, 2012 5:47 AM GMT
    If you're truly fated to be together, distance shouldn't be an issue.

    Cliched responses aside, you should talk with him and facilitate a discussion over taking the job. In the end, plan for the worst case possible scenario.
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    Feb 17, 2012 7:02 AM GMT
    TriAthInCA said
    Claystation saidYou've only been dating him for a few weeks, you guys should sit down and have a little chat.


    ^ this. It would be a different story if you'd been together for a few months, but weeks - pretty dicey.


    Will it be different if I say that we see each other every day since we work for the same company and spend weekends together since December?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2012 7:43 AM GMT
    Gotta be careful what you ask for, huh?

    There's a few ways to look at this. You asked for a job in Munich, and you asked for a relationship. Sounds like you have to choose one or the other.

    You can choose the career and just trust that there's another relationship waiting for you out there in Germany.

    You can choose to stay here for the relationship, a secured career and promotion, and trust that there will be another opportunity in Germany in the future that would allow you and your partner to go together.

    The real question you need to ask yourself is, which one are you willing to give up? Several responses on here said to choose your career. But you have a career here, with a promotion forthcoming. You choosing to stay for the relationship means that you really aren't putting your career at risk in any way.

    I think when you said, "I've....somehow given up on it since I met this guy", kind of tell me where your heart is.



  • beaujangle

    Posts: 1701

    Feb 17, 2012 8:19 AM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ saidGotta be careful what you ask for, huh?

    There's a few ways to look at this. You asked for a job in Munich, and you asked for a relationship. Sounds like you have to choose one or the other.

    You can choose the career and just trust that there's another relationship waiting for you out there in Germany.

    You can choose to stay here for the relationship, a secured career and promotion, and trust that there will be another opportunity in Germany in the future that would allow you and your partner to go together.

    The real question you need to ask yourself is, which one are you willing to give up? Several responses on here said to choose your career. But you have a career here, with a promotion forthcoming. You choosing to stay for the relationship means that you really aren't putting your career at risk in any way.

    I think when you said, "I've....somehow given up on it since I met this guy", kind of tell me where your heart is.





    Well said; i agree with you. Esp the fact that the OP is currently in a good career with good promotion prospects. If he's not, then go to Germany.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Feb 17, 2012 8:24 AM GMT
    Maybe this guy has the same dream? Ask him about going to Europe, too. Our unemployment rate's pretty healthy here in Germany.
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    Feb 17, 2012 9:20 AM GMT
    Defenseon saidCareer. Too many people screw up their life because they took a chance on something that they could not control. You can control your career and the direction you go.


    disagree. How many people have been laid off of their jobs recently? As long as you work for someone else you will *never* be in control of your career. The people you work for make those decisions for you.

    Both are huge risks for you (the OP) to undertake. Imagine yourself in Germany without this guy - can you get over him easily? And then imagine yourself staying for him and it not working out a month down the road. Will you regret not going to Germany? If you will regret it I'd say he's not worth the risk.

    Whatever you do, the decision in this case has to be all about what you want the most.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2012 10:02 AM GMT
    ^^ thats what I meant ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2012 6:12 PM GMT
    GreenHopper said^^ thats what I meant ;)


    haha didn't even read your post until now sorry - ya I see that's what you meant icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2012 6:15 PM GMT
    man over career is suicide!
    the lifespan of relationships dont last as long as careers
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2012 6:18 PM GMT
    ythings saidman over career is suicide!
    the lifespan of relationships dont last as long as careers


    cynical