Infuriating ex wankers!

  • spongebob

    Posts: 13

    Feb 17, 2012 12:33 PM GMT
    i would like to take this opportunity to vent! lol feel free to join in....
    my story...
    i have recently split with my long term partner, we were together little over a year, however we lived together and were very much in love. the split was initiated by him, however; although i was upset to begin with, i began to see that it was for the best. The split was roughly one month ago.

    Just for some background info; we have recently moved to cardiff together; we share a one bed flat...that i pay for as he is yet to find a job (in his defence he does appear to be searching with great effort) and despite the circumstances i am supporting him completely.

    Since the move i have been fortunate enough to make some new friends that are being very supportive of my situation, however my ex has not been so lucky. i imagine that he feels very isolated and so i have told him that we are still friends, we still live together (very awkard!!) and that if he needs to talk i will always be available. He replied by saying that he couldnt stay here and that he was going to move back to cornwall (where we met and moved from).

    i said that this was a shame but understandable and that ill help in anyway that i can.

    he has now begun bad mouthing me across facebook (very f**king mature!) telling everyone how i am hooking up with other people and treating him like dirt, he has ended the relationship of two of my friends and has somehow turned many people against me. on the grounds that i am sleeping around.

    the incredibly amusing fact is that i have not spoken to one person as anything more than a friend; and hours after we split, i found him txing a gentleman asking if he'd like to be tied up when they meet (he apologised for this).

    Ahhhhh - i guess you may think that this is only one side of the story but believe me this is one of those situations where i am very confident i have done nothing wrong.

    so any one dealing with something similar?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2012 1:16 PM GMT
    Being jobless with no income - for those who truly want to work - is one of the deepest depressions that a person can face. Some people can handle it; some fly off the handle and go batshit crazy.

    <-- Been there.

    That may or may not explain his behavior.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2012 5:00 PM GMT
    You sound like a real stand up guy! It doesn't seem you could have done much more for your ex. Not finding work is tough and most of us have been there at some point in our lives. The comments above are right, you go through all sorts of changes when jobless. I hope things work out for your ex. You my friend will be just fine.
  • spongebob

    Posts: 13

    Feb 17, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    yes, i realise that it must be hard for him, especially as he has received some very negative feedback from interviewers. And i know how his pride must be hurting right now. i guess ill let the whole nasty comments thing go....he needs to vent it somewhere.

    wow...therapy via RealJock....who knew...actually works! hahaicon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2012 5:29 PM GMT
    In terms of him badmouthing you, and potentially damaging your relationships with existing friends..

    I just have to say that any decent person should see through the dramatics, and reserve judgement until they have had a chance to talk with you. If they are holding his accusations against you without allowing you a chance to defend yourself, they are not the kind of people you need to keep around.

    I think we've all been there. Having our names dragged through the mud, for whatever reasons. If you have done nothing wrong, you have no obligation to clear anything up. People can and will think whatever they want anyways.

    The cause of his sudden behaviour shift seems to have been nailed by previous posters.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2012 5:52 PM GMT
    The word "partner" is nauseating.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2012 5:54 PM GMT
    Dude, I have to give you the Mother Teresa Award for support and understanding in a bad situation. That's about all I can say without being a judgmental forum wanker. icon_evil.gif

    Hang in there, man.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Feb 17, 2012 6:51 PM GMT
    i started questioning the competency of this version of events after "long-term partner" and "been together a little over a year"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2012 9:23 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidWhen I was 22 (about your age) I too had a live in BF that lost his job about a year into our relationship. Sadly, in a week or so, I saw it change his personality. He also moved out one day while I was at work since he felt he was mooching off me. I too was very supportive of him but many guys don't really want our support. They feel like less a man and as if they are accepting charity. It's a pride thing for some,, and an immaturity thing for others.
    Just know, this is one of your "Starter" relationships and in time, you'll find one that can stand on his own two feet and be there for you, even in the bad times.
    BTW.. anytime you loose someone you love.. it hurts like hell. Fortunately, that too shall pass.


    Very well said. Men hide their perceived failures in the most insane ways sometimes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 17, 2012 10:12 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidBeing jobless with no income - for those who truly want to work - is one of the deepest depressions that a person can face. Some people can handle it; some fly off the handle and go batshit crazy.

    <-- Been there.

    That may or may not explain his behavior.


    got that right... there now for me... icon_cry.gif

    but, bad behaviour is never a good thing... always take the high road!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2012 2:19 PM GMT
    oh wow . sux to be you
    sry bout that bro .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2012 3:13 PM GMT
    It sucks when people part ways and it doesn't stay amicable. icon_sad.gif

    Maybe an honest conversation with him would help (not a fight!). Maybe asking him where it's all coming from.