Does anyone miss the old days when being gay was taboo

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2012 1:06 AM GMT
    I read through some posts on the "this guy is funny" thread and thought does anyone else miss the days when it was cool to be gay. The gay clubs were a little underground and we all talked to each other IRL? and had fun?
    Im not so much being sentimental as I rarely make it past 10pm these days and couldnt think of anything worse than standing in a club. Im wondering wtf happened? is it the rise of the pink dollar? Have we sold out? and how come younger gay guys these days seem more damaged and judgemental of each other than back in the late 80"s or 90's?
    Has being gay become passe?

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    Feb 18, 2012 1:15 AM GMT
    Why stop there?

    If were gonna role back years of social progress for a little nostalgia, let's get rid of it all, shal we?

    I long for the days when blacks had their own lunch counters, women couldn't vote and we put Japanese folks in camps!

    Yup, those were the days, alright.
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    Feb 18, 2012 1:24 AM GMT
    Haaretz saidWhy stop there?

    If were gonna role back years of social progress for a little nostalgia, let's get rid of it all, shal we?

    I long for the days when blacks had their own lunch counters, women couldn't vote and we put Japanese folks in camps!

    Yup, those were the days, alright.


    Its more about what has been lost in the process. That sense of community and helping each other, somehow there was a common cause, now there are still inequalities that need to be fixed, however socially most of us live in a relativley accepting world.
    I know you hate the UAE and all it stands for (trust me Im no fan either) I did notice while living there that when all of us got together and had to hide our sexuality we had a great time (lesbians included) at house partys and 4WD camping trips, we were kind of banded together with a common cause.
    I am in know way trying to turn this into a rose coloured glasses scenario it had its shit being gay in the past however that somehow made us all more accepting of each others differences and not so bitchy and snarky
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    Feb 18, 2012 1:25 AM GMT
    Everyone remembers the past with rose colored glasses.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4864

    Feb 18, 2012 1:42 AM GMT
    People who think that the "good old days" were better have faulty memories. I'm certainly glad that when I had my appendectomy that there was anesthesia and that I was not tied down to the operating table.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Feb 18, 2012 1:43 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidEveryone remembers the past with rose colored glasses.


    Not everyone....I think gays have it much better today than we did 30 years ago...icon_wink.gif
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Feb 18, 2012 1:44 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidEveryone remembers the past with rose colored glasses.


    Yup, yup. So true what you say here.
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    Feb 18, 2012 1:44 AM GMT
    Hmmm...gay was not forbidden or taboo in Vancouver during the 80s or 90s.

    Now back in the 60s until '73, it was considered a psychiatric sexual deviation. You could be drugged, given therapy, lockup and given shock therapy, there were even a few partial lobotomies done to try cure it.

    Some gays were lured by straights pretending interest, then once in a park or near a bridge etc were gang beaten, some to death.

    In those days you hid you were gay completely when looking for a job, trying to rent, etc.

    From 74 to 80 things got better.

    Then the 80s did come only to fall back to prejudice, though of a different kind, as the Great Plague was popularly seen to be something those slutty drug crazed immoral gays deserved.
    Nothing like rose coloured glasses.

    With lyrics:



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2012 1:49 AM GMT
    Some people miss the ghetto. It gave them a strong identity.

    Most do not. The forge their own identity.
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    Feb 18, 2012 1:55 AM GMT
    Oh I recall the fun and dare of the late 1970s and early 1980s. I went to my first gay club in the late 1970s, were they just did not let anyone in; still a hangover from the generation before us, and their party's at Dorothy's. It was a big eye opener from a lad off the land, in the city for a weekend. Then when the 1980s come about and drought forced one to make the move to the city from the farm. I was to get a job in a gay club almost straight away, with the help of a mate at that time.

    Oh we back then in the early 1980s were seen as trail blazers, certainly those of us who worked in gay clubs we were seen as gay celebrities, and treated as such too; going, going gone were those hidden gay clubs, no we where out there in the public eye. yes we had too endure rocks though windows of the laird, Melbourne's first open gay pub, for leather queens and bears; real men, giggles. Oh the police raids and other tribulations we had to endure, to be out and free. Oh but they were all fun fucking days gone by. But we the youth of the day, also had to deal with bitter old men, who felt robed at our liberation from such a young age. Yet they had done very little to help the advancement of the liberation we youth enjoyed in the 1980s. No these old buggers now wanted to be free of their wives; all those old men who spent so much of their lives hiding away in public toilets looking for sex; ewe.

    I was pro active in helping homosexuality to be decriminalized, and too have homosexuality taken off the mental health act. Oh we were moving forward, and it was fun to be apart of it all; a kid from a farm.

    But then the truth of HIV started to come out, and the fear, discrimination, and many other aspects that come with it, did for a number of years turned the clock of advancement backwards. There was a new priority, to find a cure and stop the deaths; something that is still to come to pass some 30 years latter.

    For a time /years, the fun was gone with fear. many of the people who went to clubs sat around drinking and looking fearing to touch another, thus many drunks were created during those very dark years of the 1980s.

    Many a gay and bi men who knew their HIV status, went on to carelessly and recklessly infect others, thus giving them a slow humiliating death with a stigma that is not around today. All because they did not want to deprive their dick of the party.

    Oh yes there were good days gone by But............ they were drowned with so much death and fear. Where so many bis went running back to the wife and family and took full advantage of being seen as a straight family man, and not some dirty, AIDS ridden poofter. Where so many gays went running back to the closet, not wanting to come out to play until they felt safe agin; oh yes those were the years. But those who were in hiding away from the reality of it all. would also behold a diffrent perspective of the 1980s/90s.
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    Feb 18, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    Ok, I do see that we have made advances, my point however vague it was that we seemed to have lost a sense of community and mutual respect along the way to gaining significant cultural and legal standing.

    No rose coloured glasses here Im talking about the time (whenever it was in your specific country) when being gay was cool and underground,
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    Feb 18, 2012 1:58 AM GMT
    iguanaSF saidSome people miss the ghetto. It gave them a strong identity.

    Most do not. The forge their own identity.


    That was a big downside to gay ghettos, many did lose, or never developed their own identity; and the false reality of safety it gave them too. Thank God I always lived out in the burbs.
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    Feb 18, 2012 2:00 AM GMT
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    Feb 18, 2012 2:01 AM GMT
    dtmyh said I ...than back in the late 80"s or 90's?
    ...

    That far back, eh? ... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 18, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidEveryone remembers the past with rose colored glasses.

    meninlove said Nothing like rose coloured glasses.

    Though older than you guys, I didn't come out until things were getting better in the mid-90s. Not my intention, just how my life, largely influenced by my Army career, developed on its own.

    Yet I still sensed a kind of fraternity, of belonging to a private club. Indeed, finally finding my true place in the world, and belonging to something, was one of my great satisfactions as I came out. Within the community we might have our own internal issues & conflicts, but outside the club it was us against the world. I still think a bit that way today, again, another of my lingering military traits, and I can see how some might miss that brotherhood.

    My older partner, of course, out from childhood, knows the dark & scary side of being gay, that I never did. I really like to see him so happy in our little gay town, the "ghetto" as the jealous spoilers here like to mock it.

    Just today we had lunch with his visiting brother, and 2 other straight family members. Once not speaking because he's gay, but now all family again. And me accepted as his life partner, invited into their homes and to their family gatherings, I'm called family by them, a place at their tables made for me. I can't believe the old days were really better than this.
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    Feb 18, 2012 2:29 AM GMT
    we're making progress. headed in the right direction. there will be bumps in the road but at least we're moving forward. anytime you have to be secretive about a key part of your life, it is counterproductive. don't miss being a "taboo" gay
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    Feb 18, 2012 2:33 AM GMT
    I don't think you are nostalgic for when being gay was taboo so much as you are nostalgic for life before the internet when people actually sometimes left the house to socialize.
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    Feb 18, 2012 2:34 AM GMT
    These ARE the "good old days".
  • zackmorrisfan...

    Posts: 300

    Feb 18, 2012 2:35 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidThese ARE the "good old days".


    How much has REALLY changed in America?
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    Feb 18, 2012 2:36 AM GMT
    araphael said
    Ariodante saidEveryone remembers the past with rose colored glasses.


    Yup, yup. So true what you say here.



    Oh how I wish I had that disposition. But no I was not protected from the truth of the Gay Plague Era, and all those friends I lost are very real too! A gun to the head would of been kinder to them back then. But I did enjoy the good times to the fullest, after all a was young, and a lad off the farm with a big smile. blond hair, nice chest, shoulders,and calves to die for was very popular too.icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 18, 2012 2:38 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidThese ARE the "good old days".


    Then why do many of today feel robed, and blind to the blessing they behold?
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    Feb 18, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    Iceblink saidI don't think you are nostalgic for when being gay was taboo so much as you are nostalgic for life before the internet when people actually sometimes left the house to socialize.


    true, I guess Im a little jaded this week been stuck at home sick with a summer cold and buggered y shoulder at the gym. So have been on the net more often than usual.

  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Feb 18, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    JPtheBITCH saidI understand what the OP means.

    Being gay was transgressive 30 years ago. Now it's practically suburban. There was a sense of belonging to a society whose rules and customs were still impenetrable to the straight world. And if you lived in New York (and other big cities, I imagine) , there existed a community there that you could slip into easily, make new friends quickly. even find some kind of employment. It was a 'safe space' but also a place where you could feel ordinary. Because most of us came from places where we didn't feel ordinary, and in fact, it was often dangerous to be ourselves.

    It still is, in some places. But the young 'mos these days grew up in a world where they didn't feel as menaced as we did, so there was no need to band together. Gay neighborhoods are almost extinct---except in my age cohort, really---gay bookstores are all gone, gay-identified businesses are more and more rare. Greenwich Village is no more gay than any other part of New York, and the same is happening to Chelsea. Nationally, there are less than half as many gay bars as there were even just ten years ago.

    We're assimilating. Which is great, but it's pointless to deny that some things have gotten lost along the way.

    I agree with JP's perspective, and I would argue we have/are gaining far more than what has been lost. I would rather be accepted by the majority of the world than only be accepted by a small concentrated portion of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    It's no fun being A GAY these days. The shock value has worn off, and for A GAY the worst thing isn't being attacked or abused - the worst thing for A GAY is being ignored.
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Feb 18, 2012 3:49 AM GMT
    JackNWNJ saidIt's no fun being A GAY these days. The shock value has worn off, and for A GAY the worst thing isn't being attacked or abused - the worst thing for A GAY is being ignored.

    I think I'll live (literally) if I'm not attacked or abused. Let's keep the current trend of acceptance going.