I have absolutely no "gaydar"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2012 6:32 AM GMT
    So I'm out to dinner and a few drinks (well, maybe more than a few) with friends tonight. I happen to work with most of them, but good friends outside of the normal working relationship. We were chatting (ok, gossiping) about people at work, and they mentioned that the new guy that just started is gay. I'm like "what, really?" Didn't even cross my mind that he might be. all of them said, it was REALLY obvious, and I had absolutely no clue.

    How do you gents with finely tuned gaydar sniff out the newbies? This speaks loads to why I'm not dating or in a relationship . . .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2012 6:34 AM GMT
    buy this

    gaydar_large.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2012 3:44 PM GMT
    I'm never sure with mine. Either I won't trust it or it's wishful thinking. lol

    In reality, I don't think someone being gay hits me first...unless they are a knockout icon_redface.gif
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    Feb 19, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    If they're flaming I can tell, if they're not obvious I have no clue...my gaydar pretty much sucks for what I need it for.
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    Feb 19, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    I have no gaydar as well, can tell the "obvious" ones but besides that I'm usually totally off and have learned just not to guess to keep from getting in a bad situation.
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Feb 19, 2012 3:50 PM GMT
    Unless they are flaming or tell me directly, I have no idea. I'm so oblivious.
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    Feb 19, 2012 4:22 PM GMT
    Gaydar is predicated on two 2 theories:
    1) Everyone is some degree of gay
    2) Most gay guys are femininine.

    Since hooking up with guys starting only 3 years ago, I've picked up "straightdar" which is pretty damn accurate lol. It is predicated on theories as well.

    1) The ratio of straight guys to gay guys is about 12:1
    2) 95% of gay guys don't like football.
    3) Straight guys tend to be easier to carry conversations with.

    Hence, when I naturally click with guys at work, gym etc where the conversation is easy and they follow football, I know that there is a 95% chance that the person is straight! haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    My gaydar is usually decent. I just have problems with guy that have accents. Those always throw me off... unless they're like wearing a white belt or satchel, which are usual giveaways.
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    Feb 19, 2012 4:50 PM GMT
    i feel like my gaydar has gotten worse... or i just think EVERYONE is gay. there was even a big trend in white belts in the last few years (HA!) which didn't help. i have been wrong in so many circumstances - some guys i swear are gay are totally straight, and then some who i think are totally straight turn up gay. also agree that if they have an accent, its even more difficult to tell. (e.g. Gay or European?)
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    Feb 19, 2012 4:51 PM GMT
    My gaydar is so bad, I thought Neil Patrick Harris was straight.
  • He_Man

    Posts: 906

    Feb 19, 2012 4:59 PM GMT
    Wow! My gaydar is nonexistent! I can never tell who is or who isn't gay.

    If i try to guess who is or who isn't gay, it usually turns out wrong. The guys that I think are gay are not, and the guys that I think are not gay are, so I give up.

    I only know if a guy is straight if I'm attracted to him. That would be my gaydar, I guess. I know you're straight if I like you. That's been about 90%+ of my experiences with guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2012 4:59 PM GMT
    I overcompensate for my horrible gaydar by assuming everyone is gay. It's a bit of a problem.
  • mindandmuscle

    Posts: 44

    Feb 19, 2012 5:03 PM GMT
    My gaydar is bad too. I'll be out with friends who tell me "that guy is cruising you" ... and I have no idea who they're talking about. icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 19, 2012 5:06 PM GMT
    NewNDiscreet saidIf they're flaming I can tell, if they're not obvious I have no clue...my gaydar pretty much sucks for what I need it for.


    THIS

    Unfortunately, I'm into the not obvious guys hence Im always confused icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2012 5:08 PM GMT
    don't feel bad about not having any 'gaydar', mine developed after years of always seeming to be a great locater of bi guys, I had great bidar. LOL
  • techkiddjock

    Posts: 7

    Feb 19, 2012 5:17 PM GMT
    Since "gaydar" is based on stereotyping, it's mostly inaccurate. There is no short cut to knowing whether someone is gay. Just like finding out whether someone is rich or poor, liberal or conservative, christian or atheist, you have to talk to the person and share information.
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    Feb 19, 2012 5:20 PM GMT
    My gaydar is subconscious, almost instinctual - I just look and KNOW. Been that way long before I came out. If I try to analyze it I'm not sure that I'm merely projecting things, but I don't think about it when I'm using it, it's as natural and effortless for me as saying: "That's a cat, and that's a dog."

    When asked and I do try to think about it, I suppose it's a whole-impression kind of thing, the sum being the answer rather than any one of the parts. And that impression includes posture, mannerisms, movement & walk, dress, grooming, facial expression, vocabulary, topics discussed, vocal tone, timbre and inflections, and countless other things I sense automatically. It's not like I use a checklist, or spend any time at it - as I said, I just look and I know. And not just the "obvious" guys either, I mean everyone.
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    Feb 19, 2012 5:32 PM GMT
    It's harder now because straight guys have cribbed/co-opted gay style.
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    Feb 19, 2012 6:00 PM GMT
    I know this sounds hateful, but what I do is I look out for the person who has some sort of defect. If it's a facial defect or the smile. The way they walk, the way they talk. The way if I got into a cramped location with the person I would pay attention to the way they react to you so lcose to them. If they feel confident then most likely their gay. For example, I was a football player in high school. and a friend of mine had to put the cones and balls and the jerseys away. I decided to help him because I liked his company. so when he pputs the jerseys in a big sack for washing, I kinda hover behind him as I try to reach for something that was looming over his head on the shelf above. I made a remark sayin, "bro you really are a great player. I'm glad I have you on my team". and he says "likewise, I just hope i don't stay at the bottom of these big assholes." the emphasis on certain points of that sentence made me suspicious.

    Later on I kept on proding and lurcking for other examples. I became close friends with him. He finally told me and I started laughing. told him I already knew. and (we were at my house at the time) I gave him a big fat kiss on the cheek. And the rest is history.
  • adamhawks

    Posts: 54

    Feb 19, 2012 6:09 PM GMT
    I so beyond hopeless when it comes to my "gaydar". Im often shocked when I find out someone is gay. IE classmates and co workers. heck I think they are just as shocked when they find out I am. Maybe Im just aloof.
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    Feb 19, 2012 6:21 PM GMT
    My Gaydar works best only like of a Bluetooth v1.2....not at Wi-Fi standards.icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 19, 2012 6:41 PM GMT
    My gaydar hasnt let me down sofar bt u cn normaly pic it up how the guy acts around hot guys str8 or nt bt the these days gaymen appear more an more str8 acting so its become more difficult oh an eye contact neva fail lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2012 6:49 PM GMT
    My gaydar is bad. But i've learned to pic out the straight well dressed male from the gay/bi ones.
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    Feb 19, 2012 8:42 PM GMT
    A_X91 said
    NewNDiscreet saidIf they're flaming I can tell, if they're not obvious I have no clue...my gaydar pretty much sucks for what I need it for.


    THIS

    Unfortunately, I'm into the not obvious guys hence Im always confused icon_confused.gif


    You and me both!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2012 8:48 PM GMT
    Mine can be flaky... sometimes it is *very* accurate and I have great situational awareness with my gaydar. And some days it's like it's gone into complete shutdown, LOL.

    I don't think that you have an uncommon problem. icon_smile.gif