How do I deal with this?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2008 7:35 PM GMT
    I was laid off and now have not had a job in a month. I am about to go crazy. My daily routine is sending out resumes, going to the gym and then sending out more resumes when i get back. I hate being home. It is making me so depressed and feeling worthless. I have been on countless interviews however it seems like I will never get a job. Has anyone else been laid off before? How long were you out of work? How did you deal with it?
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    Jul 02, 2008 7:44 PM GMT
    I am running off to my PT appt so I have be quick.

    You are feeling worthless cuz we define our worth by our jobs and our paychecks. Bogus! You are not worth any less now than before.

    You are probably feeling threatened and insecure cuz you dont have any money coming in. Take it easy. You will get a job. One month is not long.

    You sound like you are using your time well. Getting your workouts in and all.

    Sounds like your resume is in pretty good shape since you are getting interviews. Check out your interviewing skills to be sure you are not sabotaging yourself somehow in the interview.

    Ok, gotta run! Keep your chin up. This happens in life and it will turn out alright. But it is scary...esp. the first time.
  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    Jul 02, 2008 10:28 PM GMT
    I was laid off from a very good job back in 2001, shortly after 9/11. My company was already trying to do some transitioning and the attacks in NYC helped push things along. I didn't have full-time employment for 3 years after that.

    I worked as a temp and did odd jobs by day, went to school by night (which allowed me to get forebearance and other options to keep my school loans out of default). It's tough I know and encouragement comes has to come from within, because it's hard to hear how good you are when you're being rejected by potential employers. Don't let you defeat you.

    Use this opportunity to reach out to friends and neighbors that work at other companies to see if they're hiring. Expand your search beyond newspapers, monster, craigslist, and such to find jobs. Many HR reps look to their current employees and managers to help them so they don't have to wade through tons of resumes sent due to ads.

    I trust your partner is being as supportive as possible, but be sure to tell him how you need him to help you, even if it's a quiet cuddle so you can feel the warmth of another person and so you can renew your energies.

    What line of work are you looking for?
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    Jul 02, 2008 11:01 PM GMT
    I don't know what line of work you are in, but even if the economy was booming, a month is not a long time to be out of work. I once read (I think it was on careerbuilder) that the average time to find a new job is six months.

    Plus, you need to keep telling yourself that having or not having a job shouldn't be tied directly to your self worth. The economy is in a really rough spot right now.

    I have friends who've spent years sending out resumes before finding a decent new job. One of them decided to take a part time job at the mall, just to keep herself out of the house and among people. Another had a wife who made enough money to float them for a while, so he helped his brother with his brother's business. The trick seems to be to not sit around at home all day.

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    Jul 03, 2008 12:28 AM GMT
    Don't let yourself get depressed and do keep looking for new options. Relocate? Switch fields? Turn a hobby into a new career? Like some of the other guys said, getting out of the house even for odd jobs or something temporary can help, and it can buy some groceries too. Keeping up your workouts is imperative.

    I got dumped myself, almost two years ago. Basically, the whole field I was working in dried up, so there weren't any directly-related jobs to be had anywhere. The job search was going nowhere, so after three months, I started advertising my services as an independent business. I used a lot of pay-per-click advertising to figure out exactly which services people wanted and which ones would pay enough for my time. (Fortunately, I already owned most of my own tools and equipment.)

    At first, it was pretty slim pickings. Some months I barely made enough to cover the advertising and a couple bags of groceries. But after about 14 months, I was making more money than I ever did on salary. Somewhere along the line, I stopped looking for other jobs.

    Yes, people are noticeably tighter with their money now, than they were a year ago. But maybe an independent guy with lower overheads can provide a better value on some things than a larger company.
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    Jul 03, 2008 12:39 AM GMT
    I hope you applied for unemployment benefits. You should be qualified for them after a layoff.

    Also, if you're getting interviews, I think the suggestion to improve your interviewing skills (through a course or book) was a good one. You need something to distinguish yourself from the other applicants.

    Good luck. And relax.

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    Jul 03, 2008 3:30 AM GMT
    I would have to disagree with Caslon, in that I don't think gymguy1 is using his time wisely. Only about 20-30% of all jobs are posted, and usually people want to hire someone that they know or had referred to them by someone they trust. If you're waiting for the posted job or just doing it all online, you'll have to wait for the lucky break for it to happen.

    That a very reactive approach to job search. While you can still do that, I suggest being proactive in figuring out what organizations you'd be interested in working for, what are the titles of the positions, what are the skills, knowledge and experience needed for those, and get your stories together about how you've got all the things they need.

    The biggest thing though mentally is to get out of the house and meet people who are working. Set up informational interviews, have lunch with former colleagues, go to events, etc. If you just hang around the house, you'll be miserable.

    Take it from me. I did all the wrong things many times before I figured out how to do this. I've been laid off six times in my career (and hopefully soon will be giving my notice for the first time!) and have been out of work for up to two years and managed to make it back to work and survive during that time.

    So, that's career development theory in brief.
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    Jul 03, 2008 4:15 AM GMT
    First thing first, use the time don't let the time use you!! Just think of ALL of the times that you were working and could not do other things! Now, obviously within reason, you're able to! You know, head to the park/beach with a book. Learn a new recipe/experiment in the kitchen! Go somewhere new and different, start a journal, walk around your 'hood! Get a P/T FUN job!! Something out of the blue!!! Volunteer with kids at the LGBT centers. Just don't let the time use you!!! And hang in there, that job will come!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2008 4:16 AM GMT
    I've been laid off before. Fortunatley I didn't have a debts....basically, I spent almost a year sleeping at friends houses and at the sucked.

    Maybe you need to break the routine you are in by doing something different. Take a walk in the park/beach just to think.

    Spend a few hours watching children play in the park.

    Go to a museum....

    The point is sometimes when you change your routine and give yourself time to think or experience something new, you end up with a clearer head.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Jul 03, 2008 4:25 AM GMT
    I was laid off for 3 months this past March - May. It sucked because I started to go stir crazy and I spent way too much time at home (hence my high posting rate here, hehe). The only upside was my workouts improved.

    I was getting stressed out about finances, but then I realized I have a great support network, and things might get worse, but I'll never end up homeless. Fortunately we were working on the job position I'm now in and the insanely stressful process of getting my work visa, so there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Hang in there, it's only been a month, you'll find something soon.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2008 4:30 AM GMT
    i would have to say that in your situation, a temp agency is in order, there is alot of variety, and it should give you ample time to gain responses, from potential employers, and also, this should be a good time to list all your accomplishments, goals, desires longterm and short, just relax and take it easy...deep breaths..meditate, and everything will fall into place...good luck buddyicon_biggrin.gif