Anyone have friends who are never single (but never with the same guy for long?)

  • melloyello

    Posts: 149

    Feb 23, 2012 3:17 AM GMT
    I have a couple of friends who basically jump from relationship to relationship. Usually lasting a couple of weeks or a few months. Sometimes they overlap or sometimes its a week or 2 before the new "love of (their) life" comes along.

    Am I doing something wrong? Is this how its supposed to work? Or does basically taking the next best thing sort lead to nothingness in the end? I mean, with that scattershot approach, conceivably something could work out.

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    Feb 23, 2012 4:30 AM GMT
    No.. All my gay friends are single and have mostly been single in the past. Wow.. That's pretty insane. I never realized that til now. Maybe it's just coz we're all young, since it's definitely not for lack of trying.

    Now when it comes to my straight guy and girl friends, that's a different story. They are perpetually taken. In my experience, straight people feel more pressure to be with someone. It seems like they get into relationships with the first guy/girl they date. Rarely ever lasts though, so it's not the answer.

    I guess there just is no formula. Dating is trial and error at it's finest.
  • melloyello

    Posts: 149

    Feb 23, 2012 4:30 AM GMT
    Me either. I don't get into it unless I'm in it for good.

    I have one friends whos a good looking guy, in the military but meets these young guys from who knows where who are just thrilled that someone like him is interested in them. It goes a few weeks and then they're doing 3 ways and then he's usually dumped boy "A" for boy "B." Boy B then returns to wherever he came from. Rinse and repeat.

    To me its just a shame, because I've met some of these people and they seem to be good, fundamentally undamaged guys when they enter in and just a little bit more burned when they get out. My first bf was a "victim" of this guy before me and he related it as: "He shined a warm light on me for awhile and then turned it out one day."

    I'm not saying all situations of serial dating are malicious like this. I just hate to see good people burned regardless, and here its a repeat of a bad movie.
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    Feb 23, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    coz they are good looking?
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    Feb 23, 2012 5:03 AM GMT
    Its called serial monogomy, much agree with MMTM these guys generally cant handle being alone and feel much more secure in themselves when they are able to "say" they have a partner or boyfriend even if its only been 2 weeks.
    Have one friend like that and its been going on now for 12 years... none of us even bother to get to know his new bloke anymore.
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    Feb 23, 2012 6:48 AM GMT
    I dont see anything wrong with it really.. I would do it if there were enough gay people to date here haha.. I dont mind being single, but dating can be fun
  • Scorpio1113

    Posts: 90

    Feb 23, 2012 4:07 PM GMT
    Pretty much every gay guy I've ever met is this way. Same story:

    1. Find guy on Grindr/Other guy-seeking site
    2. Exchange nudes
    3. Exchange numbers
    4. Skype dates
    5. Texting
    6. Oh my god we're in loveee
    7. Dating
    8. Break up.
    9. Repeat Steps 1-8

    ^All occurring within the span of three weeks or so. I really do believe it stems from not being happy with yourself. I don't think these guys are dating around because they think they can just anybody, but just the opposite. They are filled with self-doubt that being without a man must state that they simply are not good enough. Valuing your self worth based on being in a relationship is not good, and leads to disastrous obsessive/clingy relationships that never end well.

    As for me, I do not hop from guy to guy. There's usually no substance involved :/ And I don't like to waste time icon_smile.gif