Is he gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2012 6:05 AM GMT
    Ok. Here goes.

    There this guy I see everyday. Were both in the same program, so I see him about 12hours a day 7days a week. on top of school we usually hang out, so least to say were always together.

    Problem is I am completely in love with him and he has no idea. On top of that I'm not even sure if he's gay. Here's the evidence...

    1. He's 26 and hasn't been in a relationship yet.
    2. He's very Well dressed, and doesn't mind wearing certain unisex clothing.
    3. He comments on my cloths all the time. And notices every time i wear something new, especially new pants.
    4. He was setup on a blind date with a gorgeous, smart, funny girl and blew her off. The only reason he gave was "not my type"
    5. He constantly wants to hang out with me even after spending almost 14hours together.
    6. He sets up situations for us to be alone. Either asking me out for dinner, or drinks at 10pm.
    7. He wants me to bring him home with me for spring break.

    Evidence against...
    1 he claims to have had sex with women.
    2 he has an online pof account that is listed as , looking for women.
    3 overall he claims to be straight.

    I thought he might have been in the closet for a while but now i just think I'm delusional. Am I crazy to think he might be gay??? I need helppppp. Pls

    Thank you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2012 6:32 AM GMT
    Wishful thinking for:
    1-7: don't mean shit

    Evidence against...
    1 he claims to have had sex with women.
    2 he has an online pof account that is listed as , looking for women.
    3 overall he claims to be straight.

    Just take him for his word. If he is secretly gay and wanted to be with you, he'd tell you. If he's secretly gay and wants to be with you but isn't telling you, he doesn't consider a relationship with you worth the risk.

    In any case, there's nothing for you to decide or concern yourself with.
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    Feb 23, 2012 6:38 AM GMT
    Thanks. I think I needed to hear that.
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    Feb 23, 2012 6:40 AM GMT
    I did too when I was a youngin. icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 23, 2012 10:26 AM GMT
    Batterybronx saidOk. Here goes.

    There this guy I see everyday. Were both in the same program, so I see him about 12hours a day 7days a week. on top of school we usually hang out, so least to say were always together.

    Problem is I am completely in love with him and he has no idea. On top of that I'm not even sure if he's gay. Here's the evidence...

    1. He's 26 and hasn't been in a relationship yet.
    2. He's very Well dressed, and doesn't mind wearing certain unisex clothing.
    3. He comments on my cloths all the time. And notices every time i wear something new, especially new pants.
    4. He was setup on a blind date with a gorgeous, smart, funny girl and blew her off. The only reason he gave was "not my type"
    5. He constantly wants to hang out with me even after spending almost 14hours together.
    6. He sets up situations for us to be alone. Either asking me out for dinner, or drinks at 10pm.
    7. He wants me to bring him home with me for spring break.

    Evidence against...
    1 he claims to have had sex with women.
    2 he has an online pof account that is listed as , looking for women.
    3 overall he claims to be straight.

    I thought he might have been in the closet for a while but now i just think I'm delusional. Am I crazy to think he might be gay??? I need helppppp. Pls

    Thank you


    He is closeted even to himself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2012 2:26 PM GMT
    Sometimes you just see what you want to see, sorry
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    Feb 23, 2012 2:33 PM GMT
    Justtrying saidSometimes you just see what you want to see, sorry



    Agreed. And it sucks, but that's life. :
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    Feb 23, 2012 2:57 PM GMT
    Skinny bitch is wrong: 1-7 DO MEAN alot. The evidence against is what i think doesnt mean shit.
    Sorry to disagree with all you posters above me...but i'm older than u dudes and been around the block a few times icon_smile.gif

    To the OP - you havent revealed one of the most important pieces of the puzzle....does your friend know that YOU are into dudes ?

    If the answer is yes.....then i recommend: MAKE A MOVE
    If the answer is no.... then i recommend: well, i dont know yet - re-group...

  • Hammer89

    Posts: 237

    Feb 23, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    There are two ways to look at this:

    One, the guy IS striaght and just really likes you as a friend and thinks you're a cool guy to hang out with outside of work and might not have many other friends as close as you...?

    Two, he IS gay(or bi) and just isn't ready to admit it to anyone.

    My suggestion(s): You could either let it be and continue to be friends and maybe not overthink it as much OR ya know go out one night have a bunch of drinks with him and see what happens. What I mean by that is sometimes if something is on someone's mind and has a few drinks too many he might want to get it off of his mind and start off by saying "I need to tell you something" or "I've been keeping something from you" or whatever. A drunken confessional if you will.

    Hope it works out for you! Don't stress it and enjoy eachothers company in the meantime.

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    Feb 23, 2012 3:24 PM GMT
    mojohnny saidSkinny bitch is wrong: 1-7 DO MEAN alot. The evidence against is what i think doesnt mean shit.
    Sorry to disagree with all you posters above me...but i'm older than u dudes and been around the block a few times icon_smile.gif

    To the OP - you havent revealed one of the most important pieces of the puzzle....does your friend know that YOU are into dudes ?

    If the answer is yes.....then i recommend: MAKE A MOVE
    If the answer is no.... then i recommend: well, i dont know yet - re-group...



    Yes he knows I'm into dudes.
  • socksock

    Posts: 34

    Feb 23, 2012 3:33 PM GMT
    I would make a comment like "dang dude, why couldn't you have a gay twin or clone" or something like that to gauge his reaction. If he laughs it off, then it is what it is. If not, he might see this as an opportunity to say something to you about it.
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    Feb 23, 2012 3:37 PM GMT
    OK, he knows you like guys. I think then, that you should just let him be.

    If he likes you he'll let you know. I had the achy-breakies for a few guys back in the day, but eventually decided I wanted a guy who was direct in his feelings.
    Guessing games were lousy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2012 3:56 PM GMT
    Batterybronx said


    Yes he knows I'm into dudes.


    My gaydar smells 1-7 are VERY relevant - make a move!
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    Feb 23, 2012 4:07 PM GMT
    socksock saidI would make a comment like "dang dude, why couldn't you have a gay twin or clone" or something like that to gauge his reaction. If he laughs it off, then it is what it is. If not, he might see this as an opportunity to say something to you about it.


    THIS IS PERFECT - combined with enough spirits (drinks) to loosen things up and get the confessions going, as suggested by racerx76 - that should be the plan.

    Dang...you youngins are smart...

    Go for it, keep us posted!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    socksock saidI would make a comment like "dang dude, why couldn't you have a gay twin or clone" or something like that to gauge his reaction. If he laughs it off, then it is what it is. If not, he might see this as an opportunity to say something to you about it.
    This right here. Keep it light, make it a joke, and move on if he's on a friend vibe.

    Odds are he is straight (if he was masking his sexuality, I doubt he would be so into hanging out with you) ... but it also sounds like he would be more than able to handle a lighthearted conversation like this.
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    Feb 24, 2012 3:56 AM GMT
    Thanks for all the replies guys. It really helps to get some feedback on this.

    I think I might try the "gay twin" thing after, of course, copious amounts of beer on both parts. Its genius. I just hope I don't end up embarrassing myself or creating a really awkward situation. His reaction is probably the closest i'm going to get to the truth. But then again if hes really closeted (as i suspect he is) he might have his auto-gay-flirt deflector permanently on.

    I wish i could just talk to him. Be honest. So i can stop wasting my time obsessing over him. Then again I cant force someone to come out just because I like them. Argg I hate this.

    Why can't i just find a nice gay boy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2012 4:00 AM GMT
    Lord, quit the gay wishful thinking. He's obviously straight. Find a gay/bi man that will be your bf.
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    Feb 24, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    Well, since he knows you're gay, I'd say, "I'm going to start calling you my program/school husband since we hang out so much", and see what his reaction is.
  • socksock

    Posts: 34

    Mar 01, 2012 4:49 AM GMT
    Any new developments?
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    Mar 01, 2012 4:52 AM GMT
    jfierce90 said
    Justtrying saidSometimes you just see what you want to see, sorry



    Agreed. And it sucks, but that's life. :


    PREACH!


    other_preach_gif.gif
  • havingfunmtl9...

    Posts: 258

    Mar 01, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    Justtrying saidSometimes you just see what you want to see, sorry


    I had an extremely similar experience this past fall.

    The guy is really well dressed, never a hair out of place, tight shirts and pants, caught him staring a couple times, keeps asking to speak to me 1 on 1 in my office, does the random touching of the arm and shoulder, blah blah .... here I am confused and I find out he has a girl friend and is one straight boy.

    Darn ! Projection bias ... again !
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 01, 2012 5:08 AM GMT
    A_X91 said
    jfierce90 said
    Justtrying saidSometimes you just see what you want to see, sorry



    Agreed. And it sucks, but that's life. :


    PREACH!


    other_preach_gif.gif

    LOL, still one of my favorite gifs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 01, 2012 5:10 AM GMT
    You never know until you ask or make a move. Could go either way. I will tell you that I was in a similar situation and we flirted back and fourth for 3 years before getting drunk one night at the beach and hooking up.....best night of my life.

    We ended up being together for 4 years and always talked about how we both wished we would have made a move earlier in our friendship.
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    Mar 01, 2012 5:13 AM GMT
    NickB84 saidYou never know until you ask or make a move. Could go either way. I will tell you that I was in a similar situation and we flirted back and fourth for 3 years before getting drunk one night at the beach and hooking up.....best night of my life.

    We ended up being together for 4 years and always talked about how we both wished we would have made a move earlier in our friendship.


    This is just what I needed *tears* thanks!
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    Mar 01, 2012 5:15 AM GMT
    socksock saidAny new developments?


    Well for one, today i caught him using non-gender pronouns to talk about future relationships.

    Essentially, we were discussing being old and having your wife/husband die before us. He says "I would wanna die before my lover does"... key word lover. What kinda straight uses that term? Why wouldn't he just say his wife?

    Also, I bought new jeans this week and the first thing he says when i see him is "New jeans?!"
    me: "Yeh, H&M"
    him: "there nice"

    Then i caught him looking at my ass as we were walking back to my car. After realizing he was caught, he says "nice denim".

    this guy....