Can we split up for lack of sex?

  • Agladiator

    Posts: 39

    Feb 23, 2012 10:15 PM GMT
    After 1 year- can I just split up with my partner because of lack of sex?
    That's what am wondering now following my recent post....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 3:28 AM GMT
    People will find any reason to go to "the other side where the grass is greener"- maybe talk it out, and wait awhile- you've been together a year, are you really wanting to go out and start dating again, meeting people, etc when you have clearly found someone you care enough about to stay for a year... food for thought.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 3:32 AM GMT
    Hey, if you're not happy why don't you start with talking to your partner? I think lack of sex is just a result or continuation of a much larger problem. If you talk about it with your partner, be open to really listening to what he says. Whether this relationship makes it or not, you might learn something about yourself that will help you in the next one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 5:16 AM GMT
    Agladiator saidAfter 1 year- can I just split up with my partner because of lack of sex?
    That's what am wondering now following my recent post....


    Just a year? lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 6:45 AM GMT
    Sex, love, trust, laughter...lack of anything can be grounds for considering separation in my head. If you love him though, you try to work it out and figure out what can be done...not sure if you are in hyperdrive or he lacks it.Though if everything else is going great- hope you guys can see eye-to-eye and then some (cue 70s porn music)...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 6:52 AM GMT
    I often wonder if talking about it logically makes any sense.
    If he was into you sex would be automatic. If you have to talk about it then
    It's like begging or bullying to get your way rather then the way he naturally feels.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 6:59 AM GMT
    Just read your other post...outside professional help (and I mean therapy/counseling, not a hired sexcort), it sounds like there are some barriers there that you won't be able to help him get over. Perhaps there are some traumas from his adolescence that need to be resolved that result in his disinterest in sex and affinity for porn...which is a real shame.

    In the end, don't cheat if you love him, that's just rude and sounds like you both deserve better than that. I think you guys/he considers counseling, otherwise, doesn't sound like there's much you can do, but separate...that could be what it takes to him to address the issue...but neither of you should be dissatisfied with what the other wants/needs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 2:29 PM GMT
    My ex-boyfriend of nearly three and a half years and I split up and sex was one of the reasons. We both loved each but were not IN love. Our sex tastes varied so much so that we weren't compatible sexually at all. Also, he was never in the mood for it while I had a much higher drive. Naturally, there were other factors that caused us to break up, but the lack of sexual intimacy did not help the situation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 2:52 PM GMT
    If you're shallow... sure.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 2:56 PM GMT
    yes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 2:57 PM GMT
    eb925guy saidHey, if you're not happy why don't you start with talking to your partner? I think lack of sex is just a result or continuation of a much larger problem. If you talk about it with your partner, be open to really listening to what he says. Whether this relationship makes it or not, you might learn something about yourself that will help you in the next one.


    This is some good advice. Talk with him and if you feel things are not going to change and you won't be happy then maybe splitting will be good for both of you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 3:10 PM GMT
    Relationships have to be fulfilling on both sides.

    Being dumped sucks, hurts, and is a huge rejection, but, sometimes, it's for the better.

    If something, say, sex, is important to you, and it weighs heavier than companionship, let's say, well, then, you can move on. There is no right, or wrong...it just is. It doesn't make you shallow. It might leave you lonely.

    Folks leave relationships for all sorts of reasons. Usually, the dumper concocts something irrational about the dumpee; maybe does some projection, gets worked into some resentments; walks away. The person being dumped is often hurt and confused.

    You can read all about dumping, and how it works.

    Now, I personally think a more pleasant route, that keeps future options open, and isn't as hurtful, is an open discussion about what's important to you, but...remember...nobody likes being told that they don't measure up, for whatever reason, so be kind, and say "I feel", "I think" and not "You are"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 3:22 PM GMT
    Aside: When did all these adults start freaking out over barely-one-year-old relationships?

    Short answer, of course you can.

    BUT consider my suggestions from your prior thread before throwing in the towel.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 3:25 PM GMT
    relationship must evolve past sex and lust!
    if i eat sausage and egg everyday for a whole year, id get allergies!
    so a frittata would sound better once in a while
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Feb 24, 2012 3:26 PM GMT
    well.. from my point of view.. sex is much more at the beginning but maybe after say six to ten months i think sex starts to be less. but that doesnt mean that the relation is in danger . no in fact there is something deeper than sex now.. its u guys .. u love each other unconditionally and sex shall not be every day or it might be once a week.. for me . when i meet someone all i want to care about is to focus on our life and how to make our life easy and interesting and sex is gonna be the last thing to look at.
  • kayfish

    Posts: 160

    Feb 24, 2012 3:47 PM GMT
    Agladiator saidAfter 1 year- can I just split up with my partner because of lack of sex?
    That's what am wondering now following my recent post....


    from the way you worded this, I'd say it sounds like you don't want to be with him, so do yourselves a favor and break up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2012 3:56 PM GMT
    That ^
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    It depends, although I do think sex is important in a relationship, some people think its not, if its important to u, eventually u have to split up because it will cause resentment on your part and after 1 year, u should not not behaving sex, its not like ur an old married couple...and u know what they say about guys, they are always getting it somewhere...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2012 4:07 AM GMT
    Yes. Sex is vital in ones relationship. But before you throw in the towel, just sit down with him and really find out why are there intimacy issues you two have. Good Luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2012 4:13 AM GMT
    it may have been said already, but have you examined the reasons for the lack of sex?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2012 4:16 AM GMT
    Sounds like you're just looking for an "out"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2012 4:30 AM GMT
    Men are still men, gay, straight or whatever and generally men want sex, unless something is amiss...lack of chemistry, communication etc..in theory we should be sexually active barring any physical problems till we die...and no sex after a year does not bode well for a relationship, you should still be carnal about each other, u can try talking about it but, it shouldn't have gotten this far
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2012 4:38 AM GMT
    You should tell yourself " Shame on me...To need release
    Uncontrollably " icon_biggrin.gif
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Feb 27, 2012 5:16 AM GMT
    Lack of sex with a man who looks as handsome as you? You're kidding me right? so what other issues do you have that is making this man not tear your clothes off on a regular basis to fuck you? I'm curious. Or what issues does he have?
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Feb 27, 2012 5:24 AM GMT
    You're begging the question.

    You have to accept your priorities, acknowledge them, and then live with the choices you make as a result.

    Others have said it, but it bears repeating - be grateful, kind, gracious, and honest. Do not blame. Be responsible, and mindful.

    If you require intimacy, and you believe he's never going to be intimate on the level you need/want then accept this is what you need, NOT what he can't/won't provide. Say thank you for everything he has given you and gives you still, and then - move on.