I honestly need help!!! PLEASE

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2008 4:22 AM GMT
    Ok, so I know I'm not verified or whatever, idk. but hear me out!

    How come when I cum...I don't wanna be gay!

    IM SO GAY, I love guys, I love gay sex, blah blah blah.

    But when I cum, I have this overwhelming guilt that I honestly cannot control and have never been able to control!

    I want it to stop because I met this guy who lives in my town and were both 19 (and in the closet) and I like him, before I cum!

    I just don't understand and don't know what to do!

    HELP!!!! PLEASE!!!! icon_biggrin.gif Thanks

    I cannot deal with this
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Jul 03, 2008 4:38 AM GMT
    Well, I suppose you may have some guilt issues related to your upbringing. There are men who've been out most of their lives, yet can still experience guilt when it comes to gay sex because of how they were raised (and for that matter anyone, gay or straight, feel guilty after sex because of their upbringing).

    I came out of the closet when I was 15 so I don't know if that plays a part in what you're feeling. Being in the closet, having to hide this part of yourself, can lead to feelings of wrongness. I'm not suggesting you come out to your family and friends, especially if you're family is homophobic, and you live in a place where you'd have to be concerned for your safety.

    I don't know if any of us can offer advice besides to tell you that there's nothing wrong with you, and there's nothing wrong with gay sex (just use common sense and use protection).
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    Jul 03, 2008 4:42 AM GMT
    i think being in the closet could be a part of it...


    but i don't think my family is homophobic, they are not against gay marriage if that means anything. haha



    I've tried everything and I always accept it at first, but then the guilt is so unbearable that i regret the decisions i make, feel like I'm losing my faith in God, and wanna do all I can to change.

    I have been doing it since..well...FOREVER.

    I just wanna enjoy sex and not have regrets...

    I hate to be all about sex, but it does have a lot of to with "sex"uality lol
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Jul 03, 2008 4:43 AM GMT
    Did you have a religious upbringing?
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    Jul 03, 2008 4:46 AM GMT
    Oh yeah...my grandpa is a minister and I've been to his church all my life


    I have a strong faith in God and pray all the time...

    I also just lost my grandma too and I feel dishonest with her also
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Jul 03, 2008 4:55 AM GMT
    Well, religion is a tough one for any of us to go against. I can tell you all day that God loves you for who you are and made you the way he did for a reason, but that can pale in comparison to a lifetime of sermons and bible study.

    I'm not Christian, so I suppose I was fortunate enough not to have to come to terms with my sexuality and faith at the same time. I really couldn't imagine what that must be like, so I don't know if I can offer you any good advice on that.

    Hopefully someone on here with similar experiences will share what they went through and can offer some advice (without this turning into a religion-bashing thread).
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    Jul 03, 2008 4:59 AM GMT
    I respect you for being really honest, and I don't want this to become a religious thread either...

    I just want to be a gay guy who is comfortable with being a faith in God thats all


    I appreciate you help a lot!!
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Jul 03, 2008 5:09 AM GMT
    willie1991 saidI just want to be a gay guy who is comfortable with being a faith in God thats all


    And you can be, although it's possible it'll take quite a bit of hard work.
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    Jul 03, 2008 8:32 AM GMT
    willie1991 saidI just want to be a gay guy who is comfortable with being a faith in God thats all


    There are some gay-affirmative churches around, although your family might not approve of you changing churches.
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    Jul 03, 2008 1:47 PM GMT
    willie, I just want to share that when I was in high school, me and my straight friends discussed just this feeling. It is not just GAY people who feel that way. Heterosexuals also feel that disgust with anything related about sex with women after ejaculation. So don't worry, it's normal and it doesn't mean anything and is certainly not related to homosexuality.
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    Jul 03, 2008 2:41 PM GMT
    For a religious family it sounds like you are in an alright one. You don't think they are homophobic and they aren't against gay marriage. Very good signs.

    But it sounds like you are very uncomfortable with your own sexuality. I don't mean that in the gay/straight sense, but in the having sex sense. Perhaps going to a gay-youth group is in order. You live near Tampa, Tampa has a GLBT center. They are connected to every GLBT event and group in the metro area. Give them a call and reach out. This group can give you support as you come out as well as help affirm that sex is nothing to feel guilty about.

    And if you feel guilty next time you jerk off. Just look at yourself in the mirror, glistening with sweat and covered in cum, and say to yourself "I am a beautiful creature".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2008 2:47 PM GMT
    willie1991 saidOh yeah...my grandpa is a minister and I've been to his church all my life


    I have a strong faith in God and pray all the time...

    I also just lost my grandma too and I feel dishonest with her also


    What in your faith makes you feel guilty about being gay?
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jul 03, 2008 3:13 PM GMT
    Let's look at it this way ... you're 19!!!

    I was just like you when I was your age and THAT wasn't long ago at all. I came from a tiny town in South Dakota. I was a Jesus Freak! And ... @ the time ... I didn't want to be gay. I wanted to be normal - whatever that is.

    Now, you can be gay and be Christian. There are INFINITE interpretations of the Bible and those seven little Bible verses are skewed to fit anyone's view. Don't let some book written by some crabby old men ages ago let hinder you! You were born this way.

    Now, for sex ... I felt dirty and guilty at first, but as you get older, it gets SO MUCH BETTER. I also had some amazing teachers along the way.

    Now, don't feel bad about it. Remember, many of us were in the exact same spot you were when we were your age. I know that doesn't help NOW, but in the long run, you'll see that it's a very minor thing and very easy to work on.

    Good luck!