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and I have to wait 10 days for the results ..
it's kinda scary.. I don't know what will be my reaction when I see the results .. it may be "I knew it" if it's + ...

Let's hope for good ..

Hey Buddy, Good luck! Either way you did the right thing! Let us know how you make out. If you need to talk feel free to send an E-mail.

Best of luck.

try the oral swab test. results in like 20 minutes or less.

it is scary though. best of luck

Why do you think it is positive? Regardless of the results you will make it. HIV test are always scary. But you will get through it.

Good luck man!!!

THX for all of u guys .. I'm glad to feel your support ..

last few days I was really sick and start thinking about death seriously, it felt kinda strange to be ok with the idea..it's just my body is really weak lately..

I am sure you will be fine, but I can empathize with your anxiety. Funny thing is when I was tested in 1995 due to a serious illness, I was not expecting a + test. It can back + and all I can remember is everything got very quiet, and I heard this roaring noise in my head. Shock maybe?

We will cross our fingers for you GhostA.

I hate taking that test even though I know I'm monogamous in my relationship and when I was safe in the past. There's always a slight chance it could be +. Sending some good energy your way!

Don't panic! even if you are poz, things are different now than they used to be. For one, you will most likely live.

last week, my boyfriend requested me to go with him to the hospital to visit his friend who has aids ...

the last time i saw my boyfriend's friend was like, 3 weeks ago ...

but when i saw the "friend" in the hospital, i was shocked ... and i felt very uncomfortable ...

because that was the first time i saw someone who ... who used to look healthy ... then suddenly became very skinny ... in a very short period of time ...

the "friend" was like skin and bones ...

my boyfriend told me that his friend did not take care of himself like, taking aids medications or whatever ...

anyway, forgive me if im kind of innocent when it comes to aids reality ... but that was the first time i saw someone with aids ...

it is very scary ...

now i know what it's like when someone has aids ...

i just wish that there will be a miracle or a cure someday ...

You are lucky diNgDonG to not have experienced this by now. It was a common occurence for me between 1986 and 1996. You would be playing sports with a guy, he would disappear for awhile, and the next time you saw him he would be walking like an old man. Then six months later he would be gone.

I don't think I will ever get used to it.

JBE60 saidYou are lucky diNgDonG to not have experienced this by now. It was a common occurence for me between 1986 and 1996. You would be playing sports with a guy, he would disappear for awhile, and the next time you saw him he would be walking like an old man. Then six months later he would be gone.

I don't think I will ever get used to it.

yea, thats what my boyfriend told me ... a person with hiv today will live longer ... and will live like a normal life ... because of the availability of hiv/aids medication ...

my boyfriend knows a lot about hiv/aids ... he's hiv negative ... and i am hiv negative also ...

but my boyfriend's former partner had aids ... he died in 1993 because of aids ... so my boyfriend knows how and what it's like when someone has aids ... specially when that someone is your partner ... the person that he loved so dearly to the day he died ...

when my boyfriend met his former partner, the former partner had aids already ... but my boyfriend did not leave him ... my boyfriend fell in love with him ... and stayed with him ... until the day the former partner died ...

i guess thats what we call "the power of love" ...

when you fall in love ... all you feel is that ... i dont care who you are ... i dont care where you're from ... all i know is i am in love with you ... and love is all i can give to you ...

thats what i like between me and my boyfriend ... we are in love ...

I really like the new 20 minute tests and have been getting them free at the health center here for the past few years. I don't usually worry about the results unless there has been an "accident" that would put me at a higher risk.

Looking at the "worst" case, I see some of the great guys in my life and on this site who are positive, and feel a sense of support in case the result comes back positive.

It is just like dealing with any other unwanted situation in life, the anticipation of calamity can be worse than the calamity itself.

Gosh not an issue in my life really. I already know the result. But all the best.

But funny how things change. When the gay plague first hit the media I was working for the gay community in a bathhouse; I seen and did it all, and so many of em too. The joys of being young. But so many of em never made it to middle age like I.

I even had a full on sexual relationship with a guy whom forgot to inform One he's status was not the same as mine. Yet he had no conscience about going unprotected; I had a test back then. Yet my status is still the same I don't need a a blood test, my status is the same; I don't play the game.

Life is full of changes anyways. You just have too live long enough, good luck.

I have take all kinda blood test except for HIV. I dont think I am emotionally prepare for the possibility that I could be POS. But the last time I do barebacking (topping) was like 20 years ago, I dont give any more condomless bj for about 1 years (I admint I sometimes still receive bj condomless). I been practicing safe sex with condom every time I bottom. The last time I was penetrated condomless is when I was 19 (I am 42 now). My last blood test show I have normal white blood cell and normal immune system. So even though there possibility , I guess it not likely.

hoping for you; and in spirit i be with you:good luck

Ghosta good luck! Trust me I know how you feel. When I had my test I was on pins and needles for days and days. And trust me when I first moved to NYC I was kinda runnin' wild....it was the mid 80's. Luckily I was negative and had a HUGE sigh of relief. You'll prob be fine. Just stay occupied till the results come back. If y're neg reaffirm you determination to stay that way and if y'r poz then get the right medical help right away. It's not a death sentence anymore. Hugs!

I'm crossin my fingers for you.

All the best to you whatever the outcome. You will probably be fine, but just to let you know there is life after a HIV+ result. And sharing your situation will hopefully make some others here think about risky behavior. Thanks! I got tested just by chance 11 years ago and I am only writing here because I did and found out.

A friend just asked me to visit her friend in the hospital. I met him yesterday. He was admitted with severe pneumonia and found out that he was HIV+. His CD4 count is 8 (less than 200 defines AIDS!), but he will recover and is now on medication that, trust me, works as advertised but sometimes with side effects. He now "thinks"he may have been infected in 2000. I know that is is scary to get tested, but you did the right thing. Good luck and drop me a note either way. I can also answer questions for you or anyone anytime.

THX again ..
I know I'm not in a big risk as I started having sex only 7 months ago and always safe ... but bad luck can persuite anybody ..
I hope my fears are just fears and I'd get back to health very soon so I can trust my body again and my immune system..
and thx for the support ..I try to stay optimistic although it's not me ...

Good luck. I know the feeling of waiting for the results. If it is positive, it isn't the end of the world and it's a good thing you find out now. But, it could be non-reactive. You did the right thing, way to go. More people should step up to the plate like you did.

John43620 saidGood luck. I know the feeling of waiting for the results. If it is positive, it isn't the end of the world and it's a good thing you find out now. But, it could be non-reactive. You did the right thing, way to go. More people should step up to the plate like you did.

Ummm...this is the first posting from you I've ever agreed with! lol

In some parts of the county, like here, a nasty summer flu has reach epidemic proportions so don't sweat it. Next time get the HIV 20 min 99 % accurate mouth swab test at a health clinic and then a full STD panel for other stuff.

Best of luck.

I knew a guy that thought that's what it was everytime he felt weak or sick. If you're looking for symptoms, you're going to start making them up. I'm sure there are guys here who know way more about psychology than me and can explain that stuff better. But, for what my advice is worth, follow the advice that's been posted here, and think good thoughts. Especially during a period like waiting for test results, the best thing you can do for yourself is hope for the best, be prepared for anything.

I had my last test about a month ago, and it never gets to feel routine.

I had my first HIV test about a month ago. I had engaged in high risk behavior, but with partners who had been tested negative. At least that is what they said. So, I was a bit nervous. It was the 20 minute test.

It was a free test, but I paid $30 because I was thrilled with the service, professionalism and I want that charity to keep providing the service.

Good Luck to you.

I had the test and it only took like two days. I was also scared it might be +. but everything was fine. I think it is best to know, then to have your partner tell you to go be checked.

Testing and Education is key to the cure.


At first I was like I would not want to know if I was positive, then I thought about more than just my health. You made a good choice in being tested. It is scarey waiting, but it is empowering knowing either way.

OHhiker saidI had engaged in high risk behavior, but with partners who had been tested negative. At least that is what they said.

Been there. Done that. It's one reason why I'm no longer sexually active. Heat of the moment dumbassery carries way too high a price. Sure, I was lucky that time, but what about the next time? Not gonna be a next time.

paradox said

OHhiker saidI had engaged in high risk behavior, but with partners who had been tested negative. At least that is what they said.

Been there. Done that. It's one reason why I'm no longer sexually active. Heat of the moment dumbassery carries way too high a price. Sure, I was lucky that time, but what about the next time? Not gonna be a next time.

I hope you don't find the price too high not being intimate though. I personally would find it very difficult to go through life not being touched, or intimate with a guy I cared about.

Well good luck. So happy those days of testing are over for me. In fact the last time I had a test was for the sake of a new Doc I was seeing.

I told him it was some years since I'd had a blood test, and was not in need of one, because One knew the results.

He just could not get it out of his head, that I may be HIV +. So "just for him", was my words. I had one, a blood test. It came back "-" as I told him it would. Then I told him: "we had nothing more to talk about" and left.

But hay I was having sex in the 70s, when so many guy first got infected. I was working in a Melbourne bathhouse in the early to mid 1980's. Being young (oh youth) and of a beefy build. One was popular. Most of this was also before the stocks on condoms went though the roof.

From the age of 20 to 25. I must of had about 4,ooo encounters; maybe more? Yet I'm still a HIV-. But don't let this fool you, as there have been those whom become a HIV+ after their first encounter.

From what One reads. With new medications it's not so bad now days, and you live longer.

Pattison did I read that number right? Wow you might have the largest number I have ever seen. You are right the new medications, if used properly, are a god send. I asked my doctor this week why some people were still dying. He said the main problem was adhering to the drug regime. He lost one patient recently who refused to take meds period. He was in his early 30's when he died. What a waste.

JBE60 saidPattison did I read that number right? Wow you might have the largest number I have ever seen. You are right the new medications, if used properly, are a god send. I asked my doctor this week why some people were still dying. He said the main problem was adhering to the drug regime. He lost one patient recently who refused to take meds period. He was in his early 30's when he died. What a waste.

The number was four thousand. This may well still be very conservative. As One said. I was very popular. I had my own stable, plus many new faces that come too visit the bathhouse. I'd have em waiting, for me to go on a break. Instead of a meal, I'd have a root. I may well of had 6 diffrent encounters in one day. But.....One thought this was a conservative number for most gay guys. Well maybe in a lifetime, and I was able too rack this number up in only a few years. But I was young, and maybe addicted to sex for a time.

But hay. One was able to walk away from this experience still HIV-. Just as well, I'm shocking for taking medications. Never on time, or I forget altogether.

Pattison said
From the age of 20 to 25. I must of had about 4,ooo encounters; maybe more?

Jerking off while watching porn doesn't actually mean you've slept with the guys in the videos.

it should only take 6 or 7 days... but yeah i know how those can be the scary- and im a worry wort by nature so of course the stress of that always gives me nightmares and breakouts lol. the last time i got tested, i called in after a week of waiting cause i couldn't wait for the letter any longer and suspected they had the results... the receptionist answered (im driving into work meanwhile), and the conversation went like this:

'hm................ yes, i see them, they're right here..... ummm.... i'm not authorized to tell you the results though...'

'are you serious? can't you just read what it says on the paper??'

'ummm..... no, im not authorized, the results haven't been signed off yet.... mumble mumble.... we could have someone who's authorized call you back later today......'

'there isn't ANYONE you could pull aside to read me the results now??'

'.........hm.......um... hang on a minute.......................................................................................................................'

(new person) 'hello? yes, sorry about that- i'm not supposed to read you the results either, but i know you must be very anxious right now...'


'yeah! i am!'

'well, you'll be getting an OFFICIAL call later today, but for your own sake....



.... its negative'


'oh sweet holy mother of god, thank you'

'my pleasure, have a nice day'




the whole, unabreviated exchange took about 10 minutes- that felt like 30- who does that? i almost had a heart attack on the beltway!!!!!!!!!!

Hope it all goes well!

Hope your test comes out negative. Best of luck to you.

My fingers are crossed for ya. I hope it comes back negative and even if it doesn't it only has to be as bad as you allow it to be. Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Remember that it's not the events or circumstances of our lives that define us, but how we choose to deal with them.

There were some problems cuz I didn't take the test in my city ... now I'm not sick ,and I'm too scared to ask for the results .. as long as I feel well there is no reason to ruin my good day..

Trust me, GHoSTa, in this day and age, you'd rather know than not know.
You're in my thoughts.

GHoSTa said
There were some problems cuz I didn't take the test in my city ... now I'm not sick ,and I'm too scared to ask for the results .. as long as I feel well there is no reason to ruin my good day..

What is not knowing the results going to get you? A worse problem is all that I can think of because you wont be treated as soon as possible. Let me tell you from my cancer experience, the sooner the better. These diseases dont get better on their own.

GHoSTa said
There were some problems cuz I didn't take the test in my city ... now I'm not sick ,and I'm too scared to ask for the results .. as long as I feel well there is no reason to ruin my good day..

Well first of all I admire your courage at such a young age to get the test. You would be surprised the number of gay people, even those much older, who hesitate to take this step.

It is best in the long run to find out as soon as possible if you are infected. First of all your doctor will be able to start monitoring your health and the progression of the disease much earlier. You may not have to go anti-HIV medications for many years because you were diagnosed early.

When I tested positive in 1995 it was because I had been so sick all summer with thrush, hepatitis, etc.. My immune system was already severely weakened, a CD-4 cell count of 168, so I really had no option but to go on HIV medications right away. That leads me to believe I had been infected 3-4 years before. As a result it took my body years to get back to a normal CD-4 count range (at least 2 years I think).

Furthermore, you will be able to take further steps to ensure that you do not spread the disease to others. A significant number of HIV cases are caused by people who do not know they are infected.

I am pretty confident you are not infected based on your statement that you have been pretty careful, but it is wise to get the HIV test every 6 months if you are sexually active. I just wish other gay men had your foresight, we might actually reverse the trend of increased HIV infection rates among gay men.

[quote][cite]JBE60 said[/cite]
Furthermore, you will be able to take further steps to ensure that you do not spread the disease to others. A significant number of HIV cases are caused by people who do not know they are infected.[quote]

I am sure that this isnt a consideration in this case. But when they were debating making knowingly spreading various STD a crime, the point was made that it may deter some from finding out their status, because as long as they didnt know, they couldnt be prosecuted.

Ghost,
I hope your news is good - negative - when it comes, but in case it is positive, don't despair. I know of friends who have been positive for many years - back to the 90s, and they're all doing just fine on the right meds. A friend who is a physician specializing in HIV told some of us that most patients today are tolerating the new meds and doing fine......so long as they live and eat well (clean and healthy) and don't tear down the body with drugs, booze and smoking. Good luck!

Good luck, yo. It's a good example you set-- I'm in a bit of the same boat and should follow your lead.

Alpha13 saidIn some parts of the county, like here, a nasty summer flu has reach epidemic proportions so don't sweat it. Next time get the HIV 20 min 99 % accurate mouth swab test at a health clinic and then a full STD panel for other stuff.

Not to be a total downer, but the oral test looks for antibodies to the virus. If your body hasn't yet produced antibodies to the virus, you'll get a negative result even if you're infected. From what you've stated about your sexual activity, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. The wait can be horrific, but they can usually have the results ready in 3-5 days if all is well.

If you wait to ask, the clinics usually wait to tell you. Always get your results. There are too many people that take the test and don't get their results out of fear and many of the ones that are HIV+ never find out until it's very late or too late. The best thing for your mind is to stay on top of things. (no pun intended)

Ghosta - You inspired me to get test for the first time ever today. We had a tent at pride giving the oral swabs, and at first I wasn't going to do it.

Then what everyone in this thread's been saying, how it's much better to know and such, came to mind.

Thankfully my test came back negative. Such a weight off of my shoulders!

I wish you the best of luck!

It took me too long .. I got the the results finally .. the word NEGATIVE never looked so beautiful ..

THX for all of u guys for the support ..

This HIV issue among the gay community is really something to worry about .. please guys be carefull and get tested frequently ..

Thank god

Congrats man.

GHoSTa said
It took me too long .. I got the the results finally .. the word NEGATIVE never looked so beautiful ..

THX for all of u guys for the support ..

This HIV issue among the gay community is really something to worry about .. please guys be carefull and get tested frequently ..

Well congratulations, and keep getting tested every so often if you are sexually active. I know it is stressful, but it is a good way to keep complacency at bay.

Congrats, Ghosta. It's an intimidating test, even when you're pretty sure you've done nothing bad. But get tested a couple of times a year and that helps make the test worrisome.

Glad to hear it, Ghosta

Glad to hear your good news. I get exposed to blood, needles and blood products on a daily basis at work so it's alway's a worry for me. I have only had two needle exposures and fortunatly it all worked out well. But with each test, you can still get that nagging feeling until you get the results back. There is a lot of support out there now though. I didn't have to endure the gay plague that hit the generation before me. But I know a few who did. Good luck to all, get tested, and stay safe.

Isn't the test only accurate as of 6 months ago? It takes a while to produce those antibodies or whatever, so the test can't really tell you if you have it RIGHT NOW.

I've heard it takes 3 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, all sorts of things (from doctors, no less) but all I know is that i've had sex within the past 3 weeks so a test would tell me nothing.

Tyinstl saidIsn't the test only accurate as of 6 months ago? It takes a while to produce those antibodies or whatever, so the test can't really tell you if you have it RIGHT NOW.

I've heard it takes 3 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, all sorts of things (from doctors, no less) but all I know is that i've had sex within the past 3 weeks so a test would tell me nothing.

You are right, that is why if you are sexually active with different people you should get tested frequently (I personally think every six months).

Good Luck Man, it will be ok whatever the result, life is what we make of it.

Bart

Hey guys!This post caught me eye. I wish you the best. I tested poz about two months ago. I broke down in tears in the car right outside the Doctors Office. I was so pissed cause I knew exactly where I got it from. I had just moved to ATL a few months ago and had never gone to a gay bar before. After a few drinks this "nice" guy started talking to me and I left my drink unattended as I went to the Bathroom. When I came back he bought me a shot and another drink. Me being the young naive newbie in a gay club didnt know any better and accepted the drinks. After that my memory is blank but I had flash backs like a few weeks later of the guy riding me while i was passed out. So im guessing that asshole didnt use protection and decided it was ok to take advantage of me. OMG let me stop before i get mad at something I cant change. Im a little better now but still angry. Its just that now its going to be even harder to find a decent guy cause most guys dont wanna date a poz dude. I never got to enjoy or just date someone without thinking ok so when do i have to disclose to this person. =(

That is a pretty horrible story premed84. That guy should be ashamed of himself, especially if he knew he was HIV+. Hopefully you have found a good doctor who can advise you what to do next.

that's awful .. sorry to hear that there are such people in this world , though I met some ..
.. .. plz if there is anything you want to say don't be ashamed to post it here in these forums .. we're always here for each other ..
your e-mail would be more than welcome .. feel free ..

There are many sad and encouraging stories about this. Thos most important thing I acan say to you and anyone who hasn't tested or is waiting is to remember this:

People approach testing as if it is the cause. "If I don't know, I'm OK." Whether your positive or negative, the only thing that changes is how you'll deal with your life after you are informed. So keep in mind that testing doesn't change your status, it informs you of it. This information will allow you to lead a better healthier life, regardless of the outcome.

Glad you tested negative. Makes you think about stuff when you go have this done. Gives you time to rethink stuff while you're waiting.

Congratulations, GHoSTa!
Don't forget, though, to keep playing safely!

thank you guys for your support I just wish I could turn back
Time. I just need some friends to help me through these hard times. No offense but I would like to meet some guys my own age. It seems everyone I meet is in their late thirties to mid 40s that is poz. I wanna date a nice guy around my age, I know I shouldnt be picky , it's just that I never had the chance to date guys without this disclosure pressure. Btw my email address is jarvisfernandez@gmail.com
Thank you guys

I have to get tested every time I renew my visa and, due to a variety of bureaucratic snafus, that has meant twice in the last 8 months, the last one 2 weeks ago. I thought I was sanguine about the whole thing but when I tried to joke about my results (negative) with my friends (was gonna say “we may have a problem” when they answered the phone), the words would not come out of me.

No matter how informed you think you are or how safe you try to be, getting tested still has a boogeyman feel about it. Thank goodness for same day testing as having to wait 10 days for results would be very annoying.

premed84 saidthank you guys for your support I just wish I could turn back
Time. I just need some friends to help me through these hard times. No offense but I would like to meet some guys my own age. It seems everyone I meet is in their late thirties to mid 40s that is poz. I wanna date a nice guy around my age, I know I shouldnt be picky , it's just that I never had the chance to date guys without this disclosure pressure. Btw my email address is jarvisfernandez@gmail.com
Thank you guys

There are social clubs geared towards HIV+ guys, maybe there is one in your area. I can understand why you would want to make friends with HIV+ guys in your own age group. Unfortunately there are HIV+ guys your age or younger, but even more unfortunate is the fact that they many of them don't know it yet. Every gay pride weekend there is a little voice in my head that whispers "I wonder how many are going to get infected this weekend". A horrible thing to think but I never was one to shy away from unpleasant realities.

Good luck in finding some HIV+ friends. And don't discount a HIV- person as a potential bf/partner. My partner and I are approaching 11 years together and he is HIV-.

SurrealLife said

Tyinstl saidIsn't the test only accurate as of 6 months ago? It takes a while to produce those antibodies or whatever, so the test can't really tell you if you have it RIGHT NOW.

I've heard it takes 3 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, all sorts of things (from doctors, no less) but all I know is that i've had sex within the past 3 weeks so a test would tell me nothing.

You are right, that is why if you are sexually active with different people you should get tested frequently (I personally think every six months).

Even so, I feel like the test would never give me peace of mind. I would not feel better knowing that I did not have HIV six months ago.

that test is way too long! torture! What about that swab test that tells you in 15mins?

I suggest you start to pray.