FORUMS > All Things Gay Forum Rules

How do my comming out ?!

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Feb 26, 2012 8:59 PM GMT
    Hey everybody !
    My name's Alexis, i'm 17 and i living in France. Since i discovered this website it help me to accept who i am and now i know through the forums i havent an unhappy life .
    The problem now i have it's how do my coming out .... I don't know! i'm so afraid to tell it to my parents, my family, my friends.. I'm afraid that they don't accept it and don't speak with me again mainly about my family i'm very close with my family cousins, ants etc....
    I suppose they imagine i could be gay cause from i was little i always disguise me in princess or things like that ( now i wear me totally normally ;) )i never have friend(boy) i always play with girls at school and girls games . Now again the most of the time i'm with girls and i heard very often '' Alexis, why you don't come out with this girl she's so sexy and seems to appracite you '' --' etc... I don't know how say them that i'm gay ... Could u help me and tell me how u did that !
    (sorry my mother tongue isnt english so there are very much faults i think ! )
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Feb 26, 2012 9:03 PM GMT
    Hi there! I'm nearly 20 and haven't come out to anyone in my town yet. However, I have had tons of advice on the proper way to do it and if/when I should.

    If you think you will get kicked out of your house, disowned, or anything like that it's OKAY to not "come out" yet. Being gay is not like a coupon: there is no expatriation date to it. Come out when the time is right and when you feel comfortable with it. There is no rush.

    Best of luck and much love,
    Josh
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Feb 26, 2012 9:10 PM GMT
    Thank you josh for your answer ! icon_smile.gif
    In september i'll change of city cause the school and maybe i can tell us directly i'm gay cause now you know i don't want lie anymore. What do u think about it ? It could be the start ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Feb 26, 2012 9:14 PM GMT
    alexis35 saidThank you josh for your answer ! icon_smile.gif
    In september i'll change of city cause the school and maybe i can tell us directly i'm gay cause now you know i don't want lie anymore. What do u think about it ? It could be the start ?


    No problem, Alexis icon_smile.gif! The decision is up to you. If you feel it's right then it's fine! I'm not sure how different it is being gay in France so if you think you'll be safe physically and emotionally I don't see any problem with it! Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Feb 26, 2012 9:25 PM GMT
    Do it at your own pace, step by step. It's like paving a path or road- in the beginning there is nothing but little by little there is a way that connects you to your goal. It can always be improved upon.

    Do you have a genuine reason to feel afraid that they don't accept it, or is it just fright from anticipation and the unknown?

    Make fear fear you!

    Perhaps, begin by giving your loved ones (family and friends) subtle hints that (for example) 'that great singer, statesman, philosopher, poet, ...' is/was gay. If not already, they will get used to hearing that gay people are responsible citizens all around us. Eventually you'll be able to feel comfortable talking with them about this kind of stuff. And assuming that they're perceptive enough, they'll understand where you're going with your talk.

    This is a process, and it might (or might not) take a long time. Even after you come out there will be greater challenges in life that you'll have to cope with. Sometimes there are setbacks, and one needs to know/learn how to continue from there.

    Remember that a closet is for storing clothing or putting dead people, not for hiding in instead of living ones' life!

    Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Feb 26, 2012 9:40 PM GMT
    In fact my family havent nothing agaisnt gay people ! I remember when i was little my mom spoke with one of my ants i think and said '' i'll don't care if Alexis is gay '' I think all my familly will accept it . The only barrier it's myself.
    In fact i don't assume it. I always dream to have a girlfiend, live with her, have children. And now i realised all that can't be possible .
    I tried to convince myself it's just a passage of my teenage life but no...
    So in fact i can't tell it to others person if don't accept it before.
    Speak here make me feel better . You know you're the first persons who know it lol.

    Thank you for all your answers !