encountering gays

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2012 3:51 AM GMT
    Hey hey...college student here looking for some advice. I see a ton of cute guys on campus that tingle my gaydar senses, and I'd really like to go up and be like "You're cute!" and yaddah... but we all know it doesn't work that way.

    So the bottom line: How the heck do you approach random cute guys that you think might be gay? I mean, do you approach them?

    oh...and yahoo answers had dumb responses..yup..
    thnx!
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Feb 27, 2012 5:29 AM GMT
    turtlesour saidHey hey...college student here looking for some advice. I see a ton of cute guys on campus that tingle my gaydar senses, and I'd really like to go up and be like "You're cute!" and yaddah... but we all know it doesn't work that way.

    So the bottom line: How the heck do you approach random cute guys that you think might be gay? I mean, do you approach them?

    oh...and yahoo answers had dumb responses..yup..
    thnx!


    Don't say to them "you're cute." That's a killer. With straight guys that will have sex with another guy you can never say to them what a girl would say and you are a guy. Just become their friend, or something like that, and after much, much work you will probably be able to hook up with them once they get to trust you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2012 6:13 PM GMT
    First become friends and get to understand and know them. Straight guys can be very friendly so long as there isn't any sexual component involved. So make sure you are getting the right signals and that the signals exist and not just in your mind before saying flirtatious things like "you're cute"..etc
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2012 4:50 AM GMT
    turtlesour saidHey hey...college student here looking for some advice. I see a ton of cute guys on campus that tingle my gaydar senses, and I'd really like to go up and be like "You're cute!" and yaddah... but we all know it doesn't work that way.

    So the bottom line: How the heck do you approach random cute guys that you think might be gay? I mean, do you approach them?

    oh...and yahoo answers had dumb responses..yup..
    thnx!



    Dude, I'm in the exact same boat. My school has some of the most attractive guys I've ever seen. But I have a question. Where do you meet said guys, all the gays that are easy to find are super flamboyant and few and far between. I want a MAN, where are they (masculine gay men)?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2012 4:54 AM GMT
    Usually you can tell by eye contact, if its prolonged and accompanied by a smile or wink, its a telling sign..but even that is non full proof...i hear ya, its not an easy thing to tell
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Feb 28, 2012 5:01 AM GMT
    If they're on Grindr/Adam4Adam/Manhunt, they're probably at least curious.
    If they have a cock in their mouth and/or ass, chances are they are gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2012 5:03 AM GMT
    what is this? Gorillas in the Mist?

    not being an ass, just a really REALLY funny thread subject line, hahah
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2012 8:27 AM GMT
    it seems there's a misunderstanding here...becoming friends with people im in the same boat in (same class, same team, etc.) isn't a problem for me. what i'm talking about are the guys that you pass by on the way to a particular class and stuff like that, that you are basically complete strangers with. like, how would you strike up a connection with them?

    the eye contact thing is pretty good advice, can someone elaborate or share alternatives?


    and what the hell is gorillas in the mist?!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2012 10:55 PM GMT
    turtlesour said

    the eye contact thing is pretty good advice, can someone elaborate or share alternatives?


    and what the hell is gorillas in the mist?!


    Firstly, I believe he means that the thread title sounds too much like something from an animal-planet show, like 'encountering sharks'.

    As for the original post, that's the disadvantage of being a sexual minority, you just have to meet random people and then over time workout their sexuality. Walking up to a random stranger is not really an option in a hetero-dominated environment. Even if you were straight, walking up to a random girl would be a bit ackward. That's why gay bars are so ideal in the community, they are the one place you can walk up to any guy and stand a chance of him being gay and looking.

    The urban-myth is that for every 10 guys a girl hits on, one will be gay. So, it stands to reason that every 1/10 guys you hit on in college will be gay.

    With those two things in mind, you either have to go out and chat with 100 men to find 10 gay ones (statistically, of which about 5 will be single), or travel to an area with a high density of gay men.

    I recommend just getting to know people in your classes and meeting their friends. Its easier to meet other gay people through friends,

    That's my two cents.

    EDIT= to elaborate on the eye contact thing, there are two standing ways gay men subtle communicate interest using their eyes. The first is the famous extended eye contact. That's when a guy makes eye contact with you and holds it for what feels like a few seconds too long. How long is too long? That is debated, some say 5 seconds of eye contact, others 3.

    The second tactic is the one you read above. Men checkout what they like, that's no secret. When an attractive woman walks by, straighties will naturally turn around and checkout her backside. Gay men will often do the same with other men. For that reason, when two gay men make eye contact when passing each other (and are interested) they will turn around to check each other out. This causes both of them to 'catch each other' looking. From there, conversation or flirting can ensue as both have communicated interest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 29, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    turtlesour said[...] I see a ton of cute guys on campus that tingle my gaydar senses, and I'd really like to go up and be like "You're cute!" and yaddah... but we all know it doesn't work that way.

    So the bottom line: How the heck do you approach random cute guys that you think might be gay? I mean, do you approach them?
    [...]


    It works well for me on those rare occasions that he's that cute/hott.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 29, 2012 3:18 AM GMT
    1. find a chick who's not that cute but put together so well she looks hot... chances are she'll lead you to them...

    2. join the gym, that's how i had my first time... (do squats deep and see who's looking)

    3. try making friends... you never know where it might open doors to. even if you never get laid, if you're decent enough you'll be satisfied with making a new hot friend. hottening habbits might rub off
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 29, 2012 3:39 AM GMT
    turtlesour saidHey hey...college student here looking for some advice. I see a ton of cute guys on campus that tingle my gaydar senses, and I'd really like to go up and be like "You're cute!" and yaddah... but we all know it doesn't work that way.

    So the bottom line: How the heck do you approach random cute guys that you think might be gay? I mean, do you approach them?

    thnx!



    Ask Jake Benson's advice.... He has it down to a fine art. (jk... lol)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 29, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    3. try making friends... you never know where it might open doors to. even if you never get laid, if you're decent enough you'll be satisfied with making a new hot friend. hottening habbits might rub off[/quote]

    i mean, i have a lot of friends...i just don't think any of them are gay lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 29, 2012 3:41 AM GMT
    tempus_tempus said
    turtlesour said
    The second tactic is the one you read above. Men checkout what they like, that's no secret. When an attractive woman walks by, straighties will naturally turn around and checkout her backside. Gay men will often do the same with other men. For that reason, when two gay men make eye contact when passing each other (and are interested) they will turn around to check each other out. This causes both of them to 'catch each other' looking. From there, conversation or flirting can ensue as both have communicated interest.


    this was very insightful icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 29, 2012 3:52 AM GMT
    Place your penis inside him.

    If he doesn't object, he might be gay.
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Feb 29, 2012 4:11 AM GMT
    Just run through some grass, a wild gay will appear.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 29, 2012 4:29 AM GMT
    What exactly is the tactic you're hoping works for you?

    Very rarely, even for straight guys, does just flying up to a random stranger and saying "you're hot" really work out.
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Feb 29, 2012 4:30 AM GMT
    Studinprogress saidJust run through some grass, a wild gay will appear.


    LOLOLOLOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 29, 2012 5:14 AM GMT
    Larkin saidWhat exactly is the tactic you're hoping works for you?

    Very rarely, even for straight guys, does just flying up to a random stranger and saying "you're hot" really work out.



    yah i know...thats why im asking what does work icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 29, 2012 5:21 AM GMT
    turtlesour said
    Larkin saidWhat exactly is the tactic you're hoping works for you?

    Very rarely, even for straight guys, does just flying up to a random stranger and saying "you're hot" really work out.



    yah i know...thats why im asking what does work icon_smile.gif


    Honestly, I've hit on straight guys before. It's not a big deal... for me at least. But I'm also massive. Hard for a guy to flip his shit on me when I'm 6'2" and built like a tank. Not knowing what you look like exactly, I can't offer much in that regard.

    That said, I didn't know they were straight... seemed pretty metro to me. And when I flirt I'm pretty aggressive. No subtle wallflower me: I'm up in the business getting it done. So after a while I could tell the guy(s) just weren't feeling it. Didn't matter if they were gay or straight, they just weren't feeling it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 29, 2012 6:54 PM GMT
    okay, so honestly, after a couple experiences that happened today, i feel like i kind of know why the whole eye contact thing isnt working for me that well.

    when a hot guy notices me when i walk into a place or something and they like, look at me, i have this habit of sort of looking away...i'm not really sure why it is though. i guess its just kind of weird to make like prolonged eye contact, you know? does anyone have any thoughts on this?