PDA!?

  • Mfamous

    Posts: 3

    Feb 28, 2012 1:21 AM GMT
    I just was wondering what other people out there do when they notice others are staring at them because they are with another guy. I want to be able to kiss my boyfriend without worrying about this...
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Feb 28, 2012 1:26 AM GMT
    Ignore them, but be aware of your suroundings and know when pda might cause harm to you or your bf.
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    Feb 28, 2012 1:26 AM GMT
    I say to myself, "Those strangers don't pay my bills, so I don't care what they think."
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    Feb 28, 2012 8:15 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said...
    I'm a bit of British-prude guy, so I'm not a big fan of really overt PDA....no one's gonna catch me sitting on a park bench playing tongue-hockey with my guy, lol. But we've given each other solid pecks in the mall, outside of work, and other places. We don't get dirty looks (at least, I've never noticed any.)
    ...


    And chiming in from the other side: slightly less British prude, as my father's side is Qu├ębecois, but I generally agree. We save the tongue-hockey for the readily available more private spaces we have access to.

    And yeah, Vancouver (and Canadian metropolitan areas in general) are very accepting and not problematic for PDA's.

    I can't comment re: dirty looks... 'cause I'm way too caught up in the moment. Also, people generally don't mess with a couple where they are gigantically tall as well as beefy. icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 28, 2012 11:13 PM GMT
    People will always look at things that are not common. Being a sexual minority means that people will always stare, no matter what.

    Its like interracial couples. People know they exist and have seen them on TV, but when a they are phisically present, people feel the need to look.

    I say put on a show they will never forget icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 28, 2012 11:19 PM GMT
    lol, i'm sorry but to this day whenever i see or hear "PDA" the first thing i see is

    palmIIIxe.jpg

    I want a guy to kiss me on a park bench and not care icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 28, 2012 11:22 PM GMT
    Even in the gay mecca of SF I'm cautious of where I am and what my bf and I are doing. Be aware of your surroundings. If it's an area where there should be no problem, then enjoy. If my bf is getting off work and I meet him near Union Square (heart of SF, but not the Castro), I always give him a kiss to say hello. If we're walking to his place, through an area with a lot of girly bars and hetero guys, we don't hold hands or kiss. We're not interested in being seen or being criticized. We're not out to prove a point. If we're in the Castro, we always hold hands. Just be aware of your surroundings. Being cautious does not equate to being either chicken or not interested in your partner, it means being safe and knowing that you care about your partner to avoid the obvious places for potential negative responses.
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    Feb 28, 2012 11:48 PM GMT
    we only do it at 3 am
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    Feb 29, 2012 12:15 AM GMT
    He's pretty reserved so we do not hold hands out make out in public. May kiss hello/goodbye but that's about it. I do sleep with my head on his shoulder on long plane trips though.
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    Feb 29, 2012 12:20 AM GMT
    I would immediately think they were jealous and probably want to join in icon_twisted.gif
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    Feb 29, 2012 12:48 AM GMT
    I notice we get looks when we're out at restaurants, hotels, or just walking together. Most of the looks are fine - either curiosity or admiration. We just watch the pda and don't really do it unless it is in an appropriate setting. I don't think I'd handle it any differently if we were a hetero couple.
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    Feb 29, 2012 12:52 AM GMT
    The only times that I noticed being noticed in public, the looks were very warm and approving.
  • SouthAthlete

    Posts: 51

    Feb 29, 2012 12:59 AM GMT
    You just have to be careful. Me personally I know some people may take offense to it and I understand that and respect that. It's their opinion. So if I know I'm in an area where it could offer someone I won't. Honestly I'd have to be truly in love with the guy to hold hands or kiss him in public around strangers. It just scares me
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    Feb 29, 2012 1:15 AM GMT
    I don't hold hands in public, but I do like to hug my bf in public. Once in a while I like giving him a peck on the lips.
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    Feb 29, 2012 1:29 AM GMT
    i think the approach needs to be one of taste (and caution). Even the most hopeful proponents of equality and freedoms will agree that if you're in an environment that is obviously unfriendly towards a certain behaviour then you should exercise good judgement and refrain. But in a neutral environment like a city center you shouldn't refrain from doing anything you see other (straight) couples doing. Nobody wants to see two people devouring each other's faces in public, whether its a hetero couple or a gay couple. But a kiss, a hug, holding hands are all ways of showing affection, first and foremost. Just because a few people might be offended doesn't mean you shouldn't do them.

    It's not illegal icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 29, 2012 1:49 AM GMT
    I live in London - pretty much no one even looks if two guys PDA in most central areas. It's a very liberal city. Of course there are areas where it is not advisable but you'd know it if you were in one.

    However, some restraint can be good, just as it can be with hetro couples. I generally wouldn't full-on snog my bf in public... apart from the occasional big night out in a gay club. I will happily kiss him and hold hands if it feels right at the time though. No one would be that interested.

    What I'm not a big fan of is the guys that seem to be going for the full-tongue PDA just to make a point / shock / offend / get attention. That's not particularly great behaviour.
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    Feb 29, 2012 1:54 AM GMT
    FitSportsman saidI live in London - pretty much no one even looks if two guys PDA in most central areas. It's a very liberal city. Of course there are areas where it is not advisable but you'd know it if you were in one.

    However, some restraint can be good, just as it can be with hetro couples. I generally wouldn't full-on snog my bf in public... apart from the occasional big night out in a gay club. I will happily kiss him and hold hands if it feels right at the time though. No one would be that interested.

    What I'm not a big fan of is the guys that seem to be going for the full-tongue PDA just to make a point / shock / offend / get attention. That's not particularly great behaviour.


    EXACTLY!! nobody wants to see that...whether its a gay couple or a straight couple, its just...awkward...
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    Feb 29, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    cookingitsweet saidIgnore them, but be aware of your suroundings and know when pda might cause harm to you or your bf.


    This
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    Feb 29, 2012 2:00 AM GMT
    The fact that it bothers you warrants a little introspection (on your part). I'm not saying that being bothered means that there's something wrong with you. But, you should feel comfortable being who you are (we all should) in public. You can't change others, so...
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    Feb 29, 2012 2:03 AM GMT
    Grab his crotch and start making out with him icon_cool.gif
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    Feb 29, 2012 6:58 PM GMT
    RoadsterRacer87 said
    FitSportsman saidWhat I'm not a big fan of is the guys that seem to be going for the full-tongue PDA just to make a point / shock / offend / get attention. That's not particularly great behaviour.


    EXACTLY!! nobody wants to see that...whether its a gay couple or a straight couple, its just...awkward...


    Hear hear....
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    Feb 29, 2012 7:08 PM GMT
    I don't think holding hands and greeting each other with a kiss should be any problem. Our society permits that for str8s.
  • Mfamous

    Posts: 3

    Feb 29, 2012 8:15 PM GMT
    Thanks for all the feedback!, and I only mean a peck btw not a make out session
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    Feb 29, 2012 8:16 PM GMT
    Is a personal thing, but to be honest, do you like seeing straight couples making out in public? I think its not in very good taste, hand holding is one thing, except when i get stuck behind them walking icon_smile.gif