Becoming disinterested in sex?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2012 2:13 AM GMT
    I had my first sexual encounter when I was 21, not too long ago. The thing is, I can't seem to enjoy topping or bottoming. Being top, I never came inside a condom, because the guy would come before me and want me to stop afterward. Being bottom, I don't enjoy it good enough for me to jack off during sex. Blowjob doesn't excite me good enough to come either. I can only come when I mastubate myself... even that takes me 5-8min with my partner kissing me, touching me, etc.

    What does that mean? That I just have a huge stamina? That I can only enjoy masturbation, because my best friend had been my hand all my life icon_eek.gif ?

    When I lost my virginity, I don't feel like a new man... it felt like *huh, that was it?*

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    Feb 28, 2012 2:44 AM GMT
    Sedg saidI had my first sexual encounter when I was 21, not too long ago. The thing is, I can't seem to enjoy topping or bottoming. Being top, I never came inside a condom, because the guy would come before me and want me to stop afterward. Being bottom, I don't enjoy it good enough for me to jack off during sex. Blowjob doesn't excite me good enough to come either. I can only come when I mastubate myself... even that takes me 5-8min with my partner kissing me, touching me, etc.

    What does that mean? That I just have a huge stamina? That I can only enjoy masturbation, because my best friend had been my hand all my life icon_eek.gif ?

    When I lost my virginity, I don't feel like a new man... it felt like *huh, that was it?*



    sounds like you have had horrible bottoms. Come here and I'll show you what a bottom is supposed to be like icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 28, 2012 12:57 PM GMT
    AlexanderB said
    Sedg saidI had my first sexual encounter when I was 21, not too long ago. The thing is, I can't seem to enjoy topping or bottoming. Being top, I never came inside a condom, because the guy would come before me and want me to stop afterward. Being bottom, I don't enjoy it good enough for me to jack off during sex. Blowjob doesn't excite me good enough to come either. I can only come when I mastubate myself... even that takes me 5-8min with my partner kissing me, touching me, etc.

    What does that mean? That I just have a huge stamina? That I can only enjoy masturbation, because my best friend had been my hand all my life icon_eek.gif ?

    When I lost my virginity, I don't feel like a new man... it felt like *huh, that was it?*



    sounds like you have had horrible bottoms. Come here and I'll show you what a bottom is supposed to be like icon_razz.gif


    awww. what a cute come-on line icon_smile.gif that would work on me haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2012 1:03 PM GMT
    You need to find someone who is good enough at sex that they make you forget your own hand.

    Another factor though could be that because you are so reliant on getting yourself off you have created a sexual dependency on it to orgasm.

    Try and be more open minded to letting someone else fulfill your sexual needs and don't be shy about trying to make your fantasies a reality.
  • bradsmith

    Posts: 175

    Feb 28, 2012 1:05 PM GMT
    Sex is an awful lot like food...you can find it everywhere, but you never know exactly what you're going to get. And sometimes it's really hard to know from the menu what the dish will be like. And, as always, it's better to learn to appreciate subtle distinctions...although I still love a really hot dish making me sweat and blowing my mouth off...!

    And, if you like, you can always stay home and cook in!

  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Feb 28, 2012 1:55 PM GMT
    Sedg saidI had my first sexual encounter when I was 21, not too long ago. The thing is, I can't seem to enjoy topping or bottoming. Being top, I never came inside a condom, because the guy would come before me and want me to stop afterward. Being bottom, I don't enjoy it good enough for me to jack off during sex. Blowjob doesn't excite me good enough to come either. I can only come when I mastubate myself... even that takes me 5-8min with my partner kissing me, touching me, etc.

    What does that mean? That I just have a huge stamina? That I can only enjoy masturbation, because my best friend had been my hand all my life icon_eek.gif ?

    When I lost my virginity, I don't feel like a new man... it felt like *huh, that was it?*



    Wow, dude, this sounds soooo much like me! I'm gay, I love guys, but these sentiments are sooo much how I feel and have had the same experiences too, and have for years....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2012 2:02 PM GMT
    sounds like you need more exciting partners ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2012 7:33 PM GMT
    Soccerstud4 saidsounds like you need more exciting partners ;)
    seemingly so.

    Do a lot more foreplay than just wham-bam-thank-you-man. Some guys will, some don't..
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    Feb 28, 2012 9:55 PM GMT
    I only had 4 partners in my life so far, so yea maybe that's the problem. But even foreplay doesn't excite me enough to come, only when I or my partner masturbate me.

    The thing is, this has caused all my partners to find me awkward that I don't come after they did already. And then we just cuddle and sleep.
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    Feb 28, 2012 10:17 PM GMT
    Honestly, guy, sounds like you've just had some bad/lazy bottoms.

    Find yourself a hungry power bottom that puts all their strength into it and wants you to pound them for hours on end.
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    Feb 28, 2012 10:22 PM GMT
    this happens to a lot of guys - sometimes its the psychological pressure of being intimate and vulnerable with someone else. sometimes its because you have physically trained your dick to only cum when there is manual stimulation, which can have a much faster pace and intense gripping sensation than the subtlety of wet oral or anal/vaginal sex. sometimes its because condoms add a layer of desensitising rubber around your dick, which is accustomed to cumming only with bare manual handling. or sometimes its because you have used of other stimulants (caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol, poppers), have stress, have built up high expectations about performance, and all that. my advice is to relax and approach sex with fewer expectations of cumming. you should focus more on just being intimate and playful with your partner. if you cum, great! if you don't, no worries. you both and take a break, get hard again, and play some more. if you really want to show off, then why not have a jerk off competition and spray each other down?! icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 28, 2012 10:24 PM GMT
    Correction: Bad sexual partners or the lack of experience on your part.

    No offense OP but you aren't exactly saying that you are a good lover (or a bad one). You probably just haven't found someone to give it to you good. if there's no "spark" then the sex is usually gonna be bad and it's not necessarily your partners fault. It could be yours. You're just starting out so don't hype yourself up too much. LOL.
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    Feb 28, 2012 10:36 PM GMT
    Hmm, I always try and get feedback and didn't have any negative so far lol. And if there's no spark, I don't think I could be sleeping with the person in the first place hehe. But yea maybe it's because I'm too accustom to using my hand all my life and I can have total control over it compare to sex. I guess I'm gonna have to train myself haha.
  • takashi

    Posts: 192

    Feb 29, 2012 10:56 AM GMT
    Actually, that can be a problem, being too attached to your hand. lol
    The problem is that your hand can grip your thing better and stonger than say an anal canal or even a vagina for that matter. You may be gripping your thing too strong. Lighten up a little. Get use to cumming with a lighter touch.
    I have had tops like you. One thing great for the bottom is you can go on forever (may no be a good thing?) I've had tops that fucked me for hours and then made me cum/jack me off and then pull out of me and we both worked on jacking him off, his hand and mine as he kept humping me between my legs. He ended up exploding all over my stomach and chest, it was amazing.
    You don't have to cum together with your bottom, actually its probably very rare that you would cum together. After you get your bottom off then incorporate in the love making your masturbation, have him join you jacking you off. Got to make it erotic or its just a physical release.