How fast is too fast?

  • Varsity1320

    Posts: 16

    Feb 28, 2012 11:13 AM GMT
    I've never dated a guy because I've discovered that it is hard to maintain a relationship that is deeper after you start adding more physical fun....like sex and touching and all that fun stuff.... Either I lose interest or I feel like the guy only wants me for sex. Don't get me wrong I love sex is fun but how do you get something that lasts?

    My question is how fast is too fast and what is the suggested "pace" for a healthy monogamous relationship?
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    Feb 28, 2012 2:25 PM GMT
    It's different for every everyone, and different with each person you go out with.

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    Feb 28, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    What makes you think a guy just wants you for sex? And what about the relationships do you think make you lose interest?

    There's no set pace for a relationship. When I've had a boyfriend, we became exclusive really quickly, and became boyfriends within a few weeks. It depends on your temperament. I'm the kind of person who knows if it's going to click or not pretty early... Other people are a slow boil.
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    Feb 28, 2012 2:44 PM GMT
    I tend to want to become exlusive pretty quickly.

    Mostly because when I find someone I am genuinely interested in, I don't WANT to be dating other guys. I guess I'm a natural monogamist.

    I think as far as sex goes, that sort of happens at a natural pace as well. I don't think that it's a great idea to do it on the first date, I think it's better to wait. But sometimes there is just the right chemistry and you can't keep your hands off of each other, and I think that's a good thing, especially as a precursor to a relationship.
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    Feb 28, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    You say you lose interest. Then try putting some effort in keeping things interesting. Don't just rely on the other guy to do all the work. That's a bit lazy. LOL. Also if you feel the guy is just about sex then you can easily find out if that's his intention or not without ever getting physical.

    There is no healthy pace for a relationship. Everyone is different and how they choose to pursue one is totally up to them. If you find someone who you feel is worth it then there may be no limit at all or it may seem like an eternity but since they are worth it then waiting isn't an issue. Only you can determine that. For some people, a spark ignites quickly and for other it's a slow flame that flickers and builds up to being a wildfire with time.
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    Feb 28, 2012 3:32 PM GMT
    There's no need to fret. I don't want you for sex.
  • Varsity1320

    Posts: 16

    Feb 28, 2012 6:40 PM GMT
    I was hoping for some juicier answers. And I don't know if you have ever been to ohio but guys typically are sex oriented lol. In my opinion. The more physical a relationship earlier on the more of a focus on the physical the relationship is. The guys I've been closest to have been ones i didnt have sex with.
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    Feb 28, 2012 6:57 PM GMT
    Find non sexual things to do together.

    In a lot of relationships the sexual aspect dies down but the relationship continues. It is easy it figure out sexual compatibility. But a deeper mental connection takes a lot of investment of emotion and time.
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Feb 28, 2012 6:59 PM GMT
    7Famark saidI tend to want to become exlusive pretty quickly.

    Mostly because when I find someone I am genuinely interested in, I don't WANT to be dating other guys. I guess I'm a natural monogamist.

    I think as far as sex goes, that sort of happens at a natural pace as well. I don't think that it's a great idea to do it on the first date, I think it's better to wait. But sometimes there is just the right chemistry and you can't keep your hands off of each other, and I think that's a good thing, especially as a precursor to a relationship.


    Good answer.
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    Feb 28, 2012 8:53 PM GMT
    Varsity1320 saidI was hoping for some juicier answers.


    Welcome to free online advice.
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    Feb 28, 2012 9:09 PM GMT
    There are no time frames and no set rules.

    Follow whatever you feel.

    If you or he loses interest - well, it happens. Not every guy you meet - or are even wildly attracted to - is meant to be a life-long connection. That's how you discover what you really want and what really works for you.

    You may think a blonde pro wrestler is all you ever wanted - until you meet one and discover, although he is nice and DOES look hot in a singlet, you actually want a little more or less or whatever. So you take what you have learned from Mr. Blonde Beauty and move on.

    There is no schedule to keep. You will meet the right guy (or guys) EXACTLY when you are supposed to.

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  • Varsity1320

    Posts: 16

    Feb 29, 2012 5:57 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    Varsity1320 saidI was hoping for some juicier answers.


    You want "juicier" answers and you get bored easily.

    I'm getting the impression that you require a level of stimulation that isn't realistic when it comes to relationships.

    I also wonder if because you have a well developed body that you also require that your partner have similar physical attributes. It's not easy to find guys in your age bracket who want something more than sex and/or can have a conversation on a wide array of topics. In fact, many guys I've met over the last two decades who focus so much on their physical development don't seem to focus on much else. Well, their bank accounts are another part they tend to focus on. But it's all physical and not much else. I get bored with that very quickly.

    Maybe you'll have to realize that you are not going to easily come across guys you are sexually attracted to and that can have a stimulating conversation with.


    That isn't me at all. Actually I think that my body is nothing in comparison to guys I'm interested in. I am not high maintenance or require a high level of stimulation. There is nothing wrong with wanting people to not be so serious with the answers and just have fun with it. I never expected actual dating advice from this website lol. I have a guy that I'm interested in and I know the pace I want to go. I was curious to see what would come up from it.
  • Varsity1320

    Posts: 16

    Feb 29, 2012 6:00 AM GMT
    Just to clear the air everyone......

    I do not need REAL advice haha. I know how to date someone. I know what I want. And I know my expectations.

    Everyone got way too serious about this.
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    Feb 29, 2012 6:00 AM GMT
    You can always put your bare ass to his face while he's sleeping, if his first instinct isn't to rim you, you're not moving too fast!

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    Feb 29, 2012 6:01 AM GMT
    Varsity1320 saidJust to clear the air everyone......

    I do not need REAL advice haha. I know how to date someone. I know what I want. And I know my expectations.

    Everyone got way too serious about this.


    Tease*
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    Feb 29, 2012 6:07 AM GMT
    Varsity1320 saidJust to clear the air everyone......

    I do not need REAL advice haha. I know how to date someone. I know what I want. And I know my expectations.

    Everyone got way too serious about this.


    I don't think you get how this place works.
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    Feb 29, 2012 6:16 AM GMT
    You haven't met the right guy. That's all.
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    Feb 29, 2012 6:17 AM GMT
    Varsity1320 saidJust to clear the air everyone......

    I do not need REAL advice haha. I know how to date someone. I know what I want. And I know my expectations.

    Everyone got way too serious about this.


    Wow, with just 7 posts on these forums you really know how to get yourself blocked really quickly and/or just have anything you say going forward just ignored.
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    Feb 29, 2012 6:31 AM GMT
    Shawnathan saidI don't get this thread - Are you mocking the guys that ask for serious advice? Or the guys that give sincere advice?


    Check what Ariodante said.
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    Feb 29, 2012 4:56 PM GMT
    Varsity1320 saidJust to clear the air everyone......

    I do not need REAL advice haha. I know how to date someone. I know what I want. And I know my expectations.

    Everyone got way too serious about this.


    Why did you ask then?

    I don't get it. . .you wanted non-serious answers? And when people take the time to give you thought out, serious answers you. . .mock them?

    You're gonna be a fun one icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 29, 2012 5:02 PM GMT
    First this:
    "
    I've never dated a guy because I've discovered that it is hard to maintain a relationship that is deeper after you start adding more physical fun....like sex and touching and all that fun stuff.... Either I lose interest or I feel like the guy only wants me for sex. Don't get me wrong I love sex is fun but how do you get something that lasts?


    Then this: "I do not need REAL advice haha. I know how to date someone. I know what I want. And I know my expectations.

    I'd have put, "I do not need REAL advice haha." in your very first post.

    -Doug
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    Feb 29, 2012 5:16 PM GMT
    7Famark said
    Varsity1320 saidJust to clear the air everyone......

    I do not need REAL advice haha. I know how to date someone. I know what I want. And I know my expectations.

    Everyone got way too serious about this.


    Why did you ask then?

    I don't get it. . .you wanted non-serious answers? And when people take the time to give you thought out, serious answers you. . .mock them?

    You're gonna be a fun one icon_rolleyes.gif


    We´d have fun if you were here...

    ;)
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    Feb 29, 2012 8:27 PM GMT
    Varsity1320 saidI was hoping for some juicier answers. And I don't know if you have ever been to ohio but guys typically are sex oriented lol. In my opinion. The more physical a relationship earlier on the more of a focus on the physical the relationship is. The guys I've been closest to have been ones i didnt have sex with.
    Good gawd....... you're ONLY 20......... geez!icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 29, 2012 8:28 PM GMT
    meninlove said First this:
    "
    I've never dated a guy because I've discovered that it is hard to maintain a relationship that is deeper after you start adding more physical fun....like sex and touching and all that fun stuff.... Either I lose interest or I feel like the guy only wants me for sex. Don't get me wrong I love sex is fun but how do you get something that lasts?


    Then this: "I do not need REAL advice haha. I know how to date someone. I know what I want. And I know my expectations.

    I'd have put, "I do not need REAL advice haha." in your very first post.

    -Doug
    Yeah I saw that too!icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif