Whingeing fuckwits corner

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 04, 2008 7:09 PM GMT
    This is the thread for guys who want to have a good old moan, something we Brits are world-renowned.

    So, I'll start.

    Why is hotmail so rubbish? You can never access it and is so slow.

    Why, when you decide not to put out does that sexy bloke then think you don't like him and so pisses off?

    Why is my office so fucking hot that I spend the afternoon sweating like a p.i.g. And it's a medical journal, isn't there some law against that?

    Why is everything so fucking expensive. £11 a gallon for petrol, if I actually had a car then it'd be a nightmare. A pint is nearly £4 and then the bartender expects a tip. Yeah, right.

    I'm feeling better already.

    Go on, it's your turn...

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    Jul 04, 2008 7:17 PM GMT
    Why do women always stop at the top of the stairs coming up from the subway? Yes it's a sidewalk ladies...there are only two options so pick one.

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    Jul 04, 2008 7:19 PM GMT
    Why is it in the corporate world the most ambitious people are often the stupidest?

    Why is it that when you go up to talk to a guy at a gay bar he immediately thinks you want to sleep with him? So he will either run away because he thinks you are a troll, or come on to you because he thinks you are hot. And all you wanted to do was talk!

    Why do some people blame others for when things go bad for them, but congratulate themselves when things go well?

    Why do people talk on their cell phones while going 120 km/hr. down the highway?

    Why are credit card interest rates at 19.5% but the prime rate is at 4.25%?

    Why do people spend 40 hours a week watching bad TV, then complain how boring their life is?

    Why do some women buy so many shoes?

    Why are so many cats unfriendly?

    Why are so many gay men with small penises tops?

    Why did I respond to this forum topic? icon_confused.gif

    That is enough for now.
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    Jul 04, 2008 7:26 PM GMT
    Why does being sick have to suck so much (literally! icon_mad.gif )? *sniffle*

    Why are there so many goddamn mosquitoes inside the house when we're supposed to have SCREEN coverings on the windows and doors?

    Why is it that no matter where I place my coffee, ants ALWAYS seem to find it and swarm it while I'm not looking? Then I'd have to fish out their drowned little bodies or just squeeze my eyes shut and drink it all anyway?

    Why do torrents always seem to choke at 90%?

    Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you? icon_lol.gif

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    Jul 04, 2008 7:27 PM GMT
    Sedative saidWhy do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you? icon_lol.gif



    Oh shit.

    Why can't I get that song out of my head now? AAAAAAAAAAH
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    Jul 04, 2008 10:38 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidWhy is hotmail so rubbish? You can never access it and is so slow.


    Because the connection to the hotmail servers are flooded with users meaning that you may be sharing a HUGE connection with thousands of people.

    redheadguy saidWhy, when you decide not to put out does that sexy bloke then think you don't like him and so pisses off?


    because, he has low self confidence and sex is validation that he is good enough.. of course you probably wouldn't have seen him after that anyway.

    redheadguy saidWhy is my office so fucking hot that I spend the afternoon sweating like a p.i.g. And it's a medical journal, isn't there some law against that?


    Because its more environmentally friendly, your sweaty arse is more preferable to the planet then you being kept perfectly comfortable!

    redheadguy saidWhy is everything so fucking expensive. £11 a gallon for petrol, if I actually had a car then it'd be a nightmare. A pint is nearly £4 and then the bartender expects a tip. Yeah, right.


    Petrol is expensive because we are running out of it.. supply and demand.

    A Pint of beer is expensive because it relys on petrol to make it and get it too you.

    k1052 saidWhy do women always stop at the top of the stairs coming up from the subway? Yes it's a sidewalk ladies...there are only two options so pick one.



    Because women have difficulty orientating them selfs mentally without some form of visual cue. Men on the other hand can mentally see where they are without these cues being infront of them.
    So the women stop the get there bearings whilst men do not.

    JBE60 saidWhy is it in the corporate world the most ambitious people are often the stupidest?


    They are too stupid to know better.

    JBE60 saidWhy is it that when you go up to talk to a guy at a gay bar he immediately thinks you want to sleep with him? So he will either run away because he thinks you are a troll, or come on to you because he thinks you are hot. And all you wanted to do was talk!


    Because gay men, much like straight men, have this odd belief that they are desirable and that any man who even looks at them wants to sleep with them, much like all straight men believe that all gay men want to sleep with them. Never fear though, there are people at work, putting there ego's in check ;)

    JBE60 saidWhy do some people blame others for when things go bad for them, but congratulate themselves when things go well?


    People don't want to take responsibility for there fuckups because no one wants to be sad, so we blame everyone else to make our selfs feel better because gawd forbid, anyone was ever not happy.

    JBE60 saidWhy do people talk on their cell phones while going 120 km/hr. down the highway?


    See the answer to your first question sexy.

    JBE60 saidWhy are credit card interest rates at 19.5% but the prime rate is at 4.25%?


    Because, they are a company, they see an easy way to make lots of money... people are stupid they see an easy way to spend money... not many see beyond whats easy.

    JBE60 saidWhy do people spend 40 hours a week watching bad TV, then complain how boring their life is?


    Because they don't want to think for them selfs and get off there own arses and make fun

    JBE60 saidWhy do some women buy so many shoes?


    Shoes apparently make women attractive... apparently.

    JBE60 saidWhy are so many cats unfriendly?


    They are women personified!

    JBE60 saidWhy are so many gay men with small penises tops?


    I've no idea, but damn I hate this too!

    JBE60 saidWhy did I respond to this forum topic? icon_confused.gif


    You had a moment of boredom, its now passed.

    Sedative saidWhy does being sick have to suck so much (literally! icon_mad.gif )? *sniffle*


    Its your bodies way of demanding you shut up, sit down and sleep while it trys to recover! your body is fighting a war, you doing anything is a hindrance it doesn't need.

    Sedative saidWhy are there so many goddamn mosquitoes inside the house when we're supposed to have SCREEN coverings on the windows and doors?


    Because, they are small, smaller then the gaps in your screens.

    Sedative saidWhy is it that no matter where I place my coffee, ants ALWAYS seem to find it and swarm it while I'm not looking? Then I'd have to fish out their drowned little bodies or just squeeze my eyes shut and drink it all anyway?


    They are attracted to the sugar.

    Sedative saidWhy do torrents always seem to choke at 90%?


    Ah, because, as you get closer and closer to the end file, usually les and less people have them last few bits, so, lots of people are hammering a few for the last files so it takes longer the closer you get to 100% however, if you and more people stay to seed the times will be decreased for everyone after you because there will be more people with them last few files.

    Sedative saidWhy do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you? icon_lol.gif


    The birds are already there, you only see them when your near because you become more receptive to the world around you, thus you take notice of the smaller things.

    Sedative saidWhy can't I get that song out of my head now? AAAAAAAAAAH


    Your mind is bored so it gave you something to focus on.
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    Jul 04, 2008 11:25 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidThis is the thread for guys who want to have a good old moan, something we Brits are world-renowned.

    So, I'll start.

    Why is my office so fucking hot that I spend the afternoon sweating like a p.i.g. And it's a medical journal, isn't there some law against that?


    Didnt you just get that job? ...Werent you all happy to get it? ...And now you are bitching about it already? ...Isnt that what's allowing you to have your own flat so you arent sleep on somebody's sofa? Arent you always posting how you are shagging this guy and then that guy? And now you are complaining about things ...like petrol ...that dont even affect you? Are you a complete nutcase?

    Ok, I'm feeling better already.
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    Jul 05, 2008 3:43 AM GMT
    This is the best idea for a thread in a while.

    o Why can't I exit my depressive state and enter a manic one? It's been months!

    o Why can't I control my inner aggressive bitch on the forums any more? (Apologies to all who have been the target of my recent bitchiness).

    o Why can't I get my inbox lower than 81 items, even if I'm processing 100 or more a day?

    o Why can't I stop missing my ex? It's been over a year.

    o Why does SF have to be so freakin foggy, damp, and cold in the summer? Hot guys are shirtless and sweating all across the Northern Hemisphere except in this city, where they are wearing coats, scarves, hats, and gloves. Well, except for the tourists -- who are freezing in their shorts and t-shirts. OK, thinking about the endless supply of shivering SF summer tourists always makes me a little happier. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. But hey, this city needs its Alcatraz-themed hoodie revenue to stay afloat.

    Whew. I do feel better now.

    Oh, as for hotmail -- just dump them and move to gmail. You will never complain again. We need everyone to move off hotmail. It's the just and moral thing to do.

    ("rain drops keep fallin on my head, they keep fallin...")

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    Jul 05, 2008 4:46 AM GMT
    iguanaSF saido Why can't I exit my depressive state and enter a manic one? It's been months!
    I hope you're kidding, and if you're not, I hope you're getting some medication.

    o Why can't I control my inner aggressive bitch on the forums any more?
    I'm having the same problem. Some idiocies are less amusing than previously, or I'm just crankier.

    o Why can't I stop missing my ex? It's been over a year.
    I know the feeling. I don't miss Psycho Boy, my last ex, but the one I dumped eight years ago (after seven years together)...HE'S the one I still miss sometimes.
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    Jul 05, 2008 5:28 AM GMT
    lilTanker said

    [cite]Sedative said[/cite]Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you? icon_lol.gif

    The birds are already there, you only see them when your near because you become more receptive to the world around you, thus you take notice of the smaller things.



    *smacks forhead* Oye, Tanker. You're killing me.
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    Jul 05, 2008 5:34 AM GMT
    Why do people buddy list you if you never talked to them and vice-versa?

    Why is it I find a guy I like in this craphole of a city and it turns out he likes women more than men? icon_cry.gif

    I have never seen so many shirtless men in a single place.. and yet there are only a few that are worth talking to. Why is that? What the hell are all these other guys looking for?

    What lies beyond the furthest reaches of one's memory?
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    Jul 05, 2008 5:43 AM GMT
    Why don't people kow how to negotiate a four-way stop?

    Why won't my psycho ex get a new hobby and forget my phone number?

    Why does my checking account always give me the impression it's got a leak?

    Why does school keep getting in the way of my education?

    Why do I keep feeling like I'm turning into my parents, but not feel like I should be doing anything to avoid it?


    Why do I keep thinking I can get by on five hours of sleep?
  • upsguy68

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    Jul 05, 2008 5:45 AM GMT
    Why can't I respond to more of these forums?

    Why can't I be more aggressive in my search
    for a guy to date?
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    Jul 05, 2008 6:07 AM GMT
    Caslon4000 said[quote]Didnt you just get that job? ...Werent you all happy to get it? ...And now you are bitching about it already? ...Isnt that what's allowing you to have your own flat so you arent sleep on somebody's sofa? Arent you always posting how you are shagging this guy and then that guy? And now you are complaining about things ...like petrol ...that dont


    No, hes not a nut case, hes British!

    iguanaSF saidWhy can't I exit my depressive state and enter a manic one? It's been months!


    Everyone suffers, some suffer to much, other not enough. Thats life.

    iguanaSF saidWhy can't I control my inner aggressive bitch on the forums any more? (Apologies to all who have been the target of my recent bitchiness).


    PMS

    iguanaSF saidWhy can't I get my inbox lower than 81 items, even if I'm processing 100 or more a day?


    Your getting to many emails.

    iguanaSF saidWhy can't I stop missing my ex? It's been over a year.


    Well, I can't answer this one without being totally rude

    iguanaSF saidWhy does SF have to be so freakin foggy, damp, and cold in the summer? Hot guys are shirtless and sweating all across the Northern Hemisphere except in this city, where they are wearing coats, scarves, hats, and gloves. Well, except for the tourists -- who are freezing in their shorts and t-shirts. OK, thinking about the endless supply of shivering SF summer tourists always makes me a little happier. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. But hey, this city needs its Alcatraz-themed hoodie revenue to stay afloat.


    Its all the queers being cold, distant little bitches.

    DanteCA said*smacks forhead* Oye, Tanker. You're killing me.


    I'd like to do a couple of other things to you as well.

    DanteCA saidWhy do people buddy list you if you never talked to them and vice-versa?


    Well, you already know the answer since your buddy listing them.

    DanteCA saidWhy is it I find a guy I like in this craphole of a city and it turns out he likes women more than men? icon_cry.gif


    being more straights then gays the odds are he'll be straight.

    DanteCA saidI have never seen so many shirtless men in a single place.. and yet there are only a few that are worth talking to. Why is that? What the hell are all these other guys looking for?


    They are shirtless to tease you.
    And they can't all be perfect otherwise we would never have anything to bitch about.

    DanteCA saidWhat lies beyond the furthest reaches of one's memory?


    Bunnies, butterfly's and rainbows

    novembermike saidWhy don't people kow how to negotiate a four-way stop?


    People are stupid, the more people there are, the more stupid they are.

    novembermike saidWhy won't my psycho ex get a new hobby and forget my phone number?


    Everyone must have a passion, you are his.

    novembermike saidWhy does my checking account always give me the impression it's got a leak?


    Because your checking more out then your checking in.

    novembermike saidWhy does school keep getting in the way of my education?


    Because school is structured and rigid, life it not.

    novembermike saidWhy do I keep feeling like I'm turning into my parents, but not feel like I should be doing anything to avoid it?


    you are turning into your parents and you can't stop it, to try would be like holding back hoover dam, just not possible!

    novembermike saidWhy do I keep thinking I can get by on five hours of sleep?


    refer to the first answer of your questions.

    upsguy68 saidWhy can't I respond to more of these forums?


    Because you don't hang around here enough.

    upsguy68 saidWhy can't I be more aggressive in my search
    for a guy to date?


    You lack confidence. When you see a puppy you think is cute, do you stand out the back and hope he some how spots you through all the other hands scratching him behind the ear? NO, you go up, rub his tummy and offer him treats to follow you home.
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    Jul 05, 2008 6:12 AM GMT
    I feel strangely comforted knowing that Tanker will have the answer to every question on here.

    *breathes deeply*
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    Jul 05, 2008 6:17 AM GMT
    Horseshit

    redheadguy saidWhy is my office so fucking hot that I spend the afternoon sweating like a p.i.g. And it's a medical journal, isn't there some law against that?


    Because its more environmentally friendly, your sweaty arse is more preferable to the planet then you being kept perfectly comfortable!

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    Jul 05, 2008 6:19 AM GMT
    ursamajor saidHorseshit


    After careful consideration, the judges have determined that, yes, this qualifies as a whine.




    RESUME PLAY!!! TWWWWEEEEEEEEET!!
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    Jul 05, 2008 7:08 AM GMT

    Sedative saidWhy do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you? icon_lol.gif


    lilTanker saidThe birds are already there, you only see them when your near because you become more receptive to the world around you, thus you take notice of the smaller things.


    DanteCA said
    *smacks forhead* Oye, Tanker. You're killing me.


    He killed me already. icon_lol.gif

    So Tanker, why are we alive in this universe and everything?
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    Jul 05, 2008 7:36 AM GMT
    Before the moon-dusted leaves shrug off the last of the morning dew, when the sun pours over the hills like amber honey and all things are still, quiet; in that soft moment when the sky itself holds its breath with a world mesmerized by the betwixt. Why- is the quiet so ...

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    Jul 05, 2008 10:20 AM GMT
    iguanaSF saidI feel strangely comforted knowing that Tanker will have the answer to every question on here.

    *breathes deeply*


    Indeed.

    ursamajor saidHorseshit


    Excrement from a horse.

    iguanaSF said

    After careful consideration, the judges have determined that, yes, this qualifies as a whine.

    RESUME PLAY!!! TWWWWEEEEEEEEET!!


    Agreed.

    Sedative saidSo Tanker, why are we alive in this universe and everything?


    Your alive for my amusement and visual pleasure.

    Buckwheet saidBefore the moon-dusted leaves shrug off the last of the morning dew, when the sun pours over the hills like amber honey and all things are still, quiet; in that soft moment when the sky itself holds its breath with a world mesmerized by the betwixt. Why- is the quiet so ...


    It is quiet because you are not listening hard enough.
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    Jul 05, 2008 10:41 AM GMT


    Sedative saidSo Tanker, why are we alive in this universe and everything?


    Your alive for my amusement and visual pleasure.

    Ah those pretty words.
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    Jul 05, 2008 10:43 AM GMT
    Merriam Webster says,

    horseshit |ˈhôr(s)ˌ sh it|
    noun vulgar slang
    1 horse dung.
    2 nonsense.

    While your answer is technically correct it is not complete.

    whine |(h)wīn|
    noun
    a long, high-pitched complaining cry : the dog gave a small whine.
    • a long, high-pitched unpleasant sound : the whine of the engine.
    • a complaining tone of voice.
    • a feeble or petulant complaint : a constant whine about the quality of public services.
    verb [ intrans. ]
    give or make a long, high-pitched complaining cry or sound : the dog whined and scratched at the back door.
    • [ reporting verb ] complain in a feeble or petulant way : [ intrans. ] the waitress whined about the increased work | [with direct speech ] “What about him?” he whined.
    DERIVATIVES
    whiner |ˈ(h)waɪnər| noun
    whiningly |ˈ(h)waɪnɪŋli| adverb
    whiny |ˈ(h)waɪni| adjective
    ORIGIN Old English hwīnan [whistle through the air,] related to whinge . The noun dates from the mid 17th cent.
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    Jul 05, 2008 10:50 AM GMT
    ursamajor saidMerriam Webster says,

    horseshit |ˈhôr(s)ˌ sh it|
    noun vulgar slang
    1 horse dung.
    2 nonsense.

    While your answer is technically correct it is not complete.

    whine |(h)wīn|
    noun
    a long, high-pitched complaining cry : the dog gave a small whine.
    • a long, high-pitched unpleasant sound : the whine of the engine.
    • a complaining tone of voice.
    • a feeble or petulant complaint : a constant whine about the quality of public services.
    verb [ intrans. ]
    give or make a long, high-pitched complaining cry or sound : the dog whined and scratched at the back door.
    • [ reporting verb ] complain in a feeble or petulant way : [ intrans. ] the waitress whined about the increased work | [with direct speech ] “What about him?” he whined.
    DERIVATIVES
    whiner |ˈ(h)waɪnər| noun
    whiningly |ˈ(h)waɪnɪŋli| adverb
    whiny |ˈ(h)waɪni| adjective
    ORIGIN Old English hwīnan [whistle through the air,] related to whinge . The noun dates from the mid 17th cent.


    Oh I knew what you where saying.

    Shall I write you a 200 page answer to why the OP's sweaty arse is better for the environment on a forum? or shall I fax it to you?
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    Jul 05, 2008 10:54 AM GMT
    Fax please.
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    Jul 05, 2008 12:31 PM GMT
    Leave my sweaty arse out it you whingeing fuckwits!

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif