has any one else ever been so thrown off

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2007 11:27 PM GMT
    I have had my fair share of hook ups and dates and i can distinguish the diffrence but recently i went on a date with this guy and we saw a movie and held hands. The next day i hung out with him and his friends and the entire time we were there we were holding hands and he would lay his head on me and id play with his hair and the way it was going it looked more like a relationship than anything and i stayed the night we cuddled and messed around a lil and cuddled afterwards slept in the next day and i wake up we go to work cuz we both had too and im still thinking this is a mutal attraction possibly a relationship only to find out hes not ready to date. Not that its big deal but i felt like i was smacked in the face it was the most confusing thing ever when i hook up with some one purley for sex i dont do that cute stuff you do when your in a relationship and i was lil sad becuase i kind of liked him has this ever happen to any one else? It was pretty confusing and upsetting.

    and on top of all that he was talking to another guy who he told what happen and now this other guy is also upset and im not sure if maybe he just said that becuase he wanted to try out this other guy before he made a descion can any one relate and give me some advice becuase sadly enough i think i still like him
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    Jul 31, 2007 4:37 AM GMT
    They used to call these things "shipboard romances" or something like that. The idea was, you'd meet someone on a cruise, have this really hot, intimate affair, and at the end of the cruise you both go your own ways and never see each other again.

    Think of it as a chance to sort of get to 2nd base in a relationship sense. You tried it. It felt REALLY good. Go try it again.

    J.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jul 31, 2007 2:39 PM GMT
    It have happen to me a couple of times. I was with this good looking guy. It was so romantics, I was holding his hand while driving. Before he go to his house, we have last passionate kiss. I thought I was falling in love with him , strangely the next day ,he behave as though nothing has happen between us. I feel so humiliated and confuse. The next time he ask me to have sex with him, I treat him as he really is. Just have sex and that all.
  • jc_online

    Posts: 487

    Jul 31, 2007 2:45 PM GMT
    It happens to all of us; and it happended to me recently as well.

    There's not a lot of sane,in-shape, regular guys in my area, so I was very happy to meet a guy I thought was great. We seemed to hit it off for a couple weeks, then one evening (at the end of a date) he started with, "There's something I've wanted to tell you all evening..." I instantly knew the rest of the paragraph:
    I don't really want to date; you're a really nice guy; yadda, yadda, yadda... whatever.

    It hurts when you feel something that the other guy doesn't, but it's part of life. A friend of mine recommended a book, which I haven't picked up yet, so this isn't an endorsement, but i think the title is something like "He's Just Not That Into You"...

    Remember the ol' adage: Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all...
  • gymingit

    Posts: 156

    Jul 31, 2007 5:04 PM GMT
    Now for something from the sorta other side of things.

    Most people seem to like me in general. I'm just that kind of guy. Back in December I met a guy and was with him for 3 weekends in a row. Things didn't workout of course and I was really into this guy. I also had to realize this guy was my first since my last relationship. We are still friends.

    So now I have found myself distancing myself emotionally. It's just a date and possibly sex. Do things sometimes go beyond sorta... yes. The holding, the cuddling, the holding of hands etc.... but I'm not looking beyond the meeting, the hook-up, the date.

    I'm not saying I wouldn't allow my feelings to grow, but I'm keeping them in check. I wear my heart on my sleeve and love people. That alone sometimes turns some guys off, thinking I'm moving too fast.

    But yeah, it happens, we've all been hurt. We deal and move on.

    Sorry about your situation, but considering the third party, there may have been something else going on there as you suspect.

    LANCE
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    Jul 31, 2007 5:32 PM GMT
    lol ya your defintaly not alone in this.. Mine was about 2 weeks ago.. someone I thought was fun active and interactive.. we did a lot of things.. and I thought we were having a good time getting to know eachother after all thats kinda the point behind a date isn't it.. its not just to get to home plate right??

    I've also been on the other side too though.. and thats just as hard I guess.. You start to get to know a guy and seem to be hitting it off and then wow.. out of left field he's got some crazy and your backpaddling to get the hell away.

    I've come to accept this.. their not bad or good or whatever its the process of dating we put ourselves out there see what happens sometimes its good somethings its run for your lives.. but in the end if your the one running or the one wondering why... just remember for whatever reason it was you learned something.. you learned that one isn't the one for you whatever the reason known or not lol. mmm if that makes any sense anyways
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Aug 01, 2007 10:11 PM GMT
    You think thats bad? The Guys here in Guatemala are really the worst kind of Gays possible. When I came here, I fastly meet a very nice guy over the net. We needed 3 tries even to meet. After that we dated for a time regulary and he was totaly sweet. I soon found out that every gay in Guatemala asks very soon if you want to be his partner. In one word, the relationship with him was sick. I could feel the love when we where together. But getting him to meet was terrible. Its bad to have a short time love and then its over. Its even worse when the game goes on for weeks.