"HOW I MET MY HUSBAND"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2008 6:12 PM GMT
    I am a sigle guy living in the NYC Metro. Personally, I have never been coupled with someone longer than a few months - I feel like I consistently have met the right people - just not at that point in my life.

    Having said that....

    I have also made some decent friends who make up for my lack of "couple-dom". Now, most of these friends are coupled up themselves and in very loving and happy relationships (gay and straight). I always go to them for advice about what I could be doing incorrectly (like having sex too soon or getting really drunk and saying ILY 3 months into it...silly things like that) as well as how to improve my own dating skills to make them more productive, more interesting, and most importantly more fun.

    One of the walls I come up to seems to be when I ask my friends "how did you meet _____?" Normally it is at a bar or in school or through friends seem to be the most common...but what about other ways like a sports league, at the beach while getting a beer, in Vegas playing BlackJack, and so on...does this actually happen in real life?

    So I am asking you Real Jockers - how did you meet your partner, what happened that drew you two together...give us the dirt - hey maybe it'll even give us single guys some new ideas on how to sucessfully meet more people!
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Jul 05, 2008 8:10 PM GMT
    On ManLine (lavalife's gay web site).
    He sent me a mail asking if I had been in one of his classes, we msn'd for about 2 months, went on a bunch of dates, and about 2 months later, he moved in. We got married about 3 years later, and have been together for almost 5 years now.

    I'm doubting that helps much icon_smile.gif I suspect that my partner and I both just happened to meet each other at the right time in our lives, and that it was more accident than anything else. He would probably argue that we were both looking for each other, and that the universe conspired to give us what we wanted.
  • steven_patter...

    Posts: 144

    Jul 07, 2008 3:48 AM GMT
    We were working on a show together at Theatre Rhinoceros in San Francisco. I was acting in it, he was designing the lights. Stayed late into the night after one rehearsal to walk the stage while he focussed and set cues just to be able to spend some extra time with him. Wound up moving in together (I'd moved to Minneapolis in the meantime) about a year later.
  • joggerva

    Posts: 731

    Jul 29, 2008 3:28 PM GMT
    LaSalle04 saidSo I am asking you Real Jockers - how did you meet your partner, what happened that drew you two together...give us the dirt - hey maybe it'll even give us single guys some new ideas on how to sucessfully meet more people!


    Bump.

    Yeah, I'm curious as well. How many of you actually met in the bars or online versus less obvious venues?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2008 3:42 PM GMT
    I met my first boyfriend "on-line", when a gay chat room was added to a local Unix bulletin board system. He was actually one of the first two openly gay guys I met and that had a lot to do with me coming out. We were together for 2 and a half years.

    That was followed by some shorter relationships. One I met through a friend of my room-mate's boyfriend (4 months). Another at a gay happy hour at a straight restaurant (2 months). Another at the gym (3 weeks). Then I met someone at a community BBQ I used to organize (3 months). Another at a bar in Chicago (my only long distance relationship, 2 months) and through friends (9 months).

    My current partner (of 12 years) I met at a funeral.

    What is glaringly missing is that I never met anyone I dated at a local bar - and when I was younger and single I'd sometimes go out 3 times a week. Since I don't drink (much), dance or enjoy smoke or loud music, the two reasons I'd frequent the bars were to spend time with friends and to find Mr. Right. Obviously he had better things to do.
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    Jul 29, 2008 3:50 PM GMT
    We met at a rugby match. My boyfriend turned up to play for my club having just moved to London from Rhode Island.

    I was injured and so acting as a touch judge rather than playing. We hit it off immediately and were dating within a couple of weeks .
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    Jul 29, 2008 3:57 PM GMT
    I met mine the good ol' fashioned way. On realjock. Started talking online for a few weeks, then the phone for a few weeks, then we met for coffee.
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    Jul 29, 2008 3:59 PM GMT
    I saw mine walking down the street and followed him to see where he lived. Over the next couple weeks I studied his schedule and and activities. When the time was right, I snuck up behind him with a chloroform soaked rag and rendered him unconscious. We lived happily ever after. Well, until he couldn't yell the safety word around the ball-gag. I had to put him through a wood chipper after that because there wasn't any room left under the floor boards in the basement.
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    Jul 29, 2008 3:59 PM GMT
    Met my partner online through a gay portal in Singapore, fridae.com. Had no intention of settling down with him, but thought he had a rather interesting profile, so I started emailing him. This went on for about two months, before we eventual met up. The relationship developed, and we settled down a couple of months later, and he finally moved in when I bought a flat. icon_smile.gif

    So, to cut a long story short, mine is a non-intentional love story! icon_eek.gif
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    Jul 29, 2008 4:04 PM GMT
    I'm going to have to make up a story for the grandkids, because I don't want to tell them we met on Daddyhunt. icon_redface.gif

    Oh well. I decided I didn't want to date anymore and wasn't looking when I met him. He was fun to talk to and I enjoyed chatting with him on instant messenger. We finally met in person and had what I thought was a one-night-stand. He was just so dammed interesting and unlike anyone I've ever met before, which kept me coming back week after week. Then one day I realized I was in love with him.

    There are no rules for how to meet someone or how to have a lasting relationship. The only advice I can give is be yourself, stop looking, and enjoy life with or without a man in it. The best time to meet someone is when you don't need him or want him.
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    Jul 29, 2008 4:13 PM GMT
    RBY71 saidI saw mine walking down the street and followed him to see where he lived. Over the next couple weeks I studied his schedule and and activities. When the time was right, I snuck up behind him with a chloroform soaked rag and rendered him unconscious. We lived happily ever after. Well, until he couldn't yell the safety word around the ball-gag. I had to put him through a wood chipper after that because there wasn't any room left under the floor boards in the basement.


    Wow. Same here! Have you considered the attic? Too many wood chippers rendered useless by a stubborn femur.
    Say, haven't I seen you on my street lately?
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    Jul 29, 2008 4:13 PM GMT
    It's a long story, since we were best friends for four years. It's not set in stone, since we now have to figure out how to live in the same city again. But as I look back, it is one of the sweetest and most romantic stories I can think of.

    But it started in '04 with my noticing him on a now-defunct local site called whatafag.com. Then I discovered he was on my softball team once I rejoined the club. Then it was a hike in the canyon, a swingset, a joint, a game of mini golf, and an amazing kiss. But then, after that date, our own baggage had us spending four years dating guys that weren't quite right for us. We had plenty of boundary-crossing and flirtations along the way. But we didn't give it our all until about six weeks ago.

    And now, I realize that it is possible for your best friend to be your boyfriend. We don't even have to try. It just flows. Hopefully we can see this through!
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    Jul 29, 2008 4:16 PM GMT
    hafakasi said
    RBY71 saidI saw mine walking down the street and followed him to see where he lived. Over the next couple weeks I studied his schedule and and activities. When the time was right, I snuck up behind him with a chloroform soaked rag and rendered him unconscious. We lived happily ever after. Well, until he couldn't yell the safety word around the ball-gag. I had to put him through a wood chipper after that because there wasn't any room left under the floor boards in the basement.


    Wow. Same here! Have you considered the attic? Too many wood chippers rendered useless by a stubborn femur.
    Say, haven't I seen you walking behind me lately?


    Uhm, no. That's, uh, my evil twin Skippy. Yeah, that's it.Photobucket
  • joggerva

    Posts: 731

    Jul 30, 2008 1:45 PM GMT
    Hey everyone, thanks for posting to this thread (Rugger, your story is very sweet, but my best friend is a girl, so no dice). It looks like online is winning (of course, we are discussing this in an online community, so it could be a bit skewed, haha). Here's the breakdown of current relationships, so far:

    Online - 4 - Unclevername, palikari, outofthegrey, lissenup
    Abduction icon_twisted.gif - 2 - RBY71, hafakasi
    Work - 1 - steven_patterson
    Funeral - 1 - caesarea4
    Best Friends First - 1 - XRuggerATX
    Sports League - 1 - ruggersw8

    C'mon partnered guys, we need some more stories! icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 30, 2008 2:12 PM GMT
    Well... the first time I set my eyes on him, was when I went to see an opera production he played / sang in.

    I still remember me drooling over the hot guy in pink tights, and sending him a virtual kiss (which he couldn't see), when we all applauded.

    I assumed that was the end of it.

    The day after, I went out clubbing (I still had the energy for that back then (5.5 years ago)).

    Towards the end of the night, I met this hot guy, and we had fun... :-) When we started talking, before leaving the place, I asked him what he does for a living.

    He told me he's now playing at this opera production...

    Turns out the different setting / costume / light etc' caused me not to recognize the hot guy from the night before.

    We ended up at my apartment, to which he officially moved in a few days later... :-)
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    Jul 30, 2008 2:22 PM GMT
    Gay men's bowling league in Northampton, MA.

    I was getting over a heartbreak and completely uninterested in dating again, when a buddy of mine (and also of my current hubby's) walked up and told me that his friend thought I was cute. Again, I was uninterested in getting back in to the dating game, so I just said, "That's nice." My friend pressed on, saying that his buddy would like to get my number, but he was a bit shy and needed me to make the first move. I thought to myself that his friend must be a complete wuss if he's too shy to come over himself and say hello. Well, I asked him to point his friend out, and when he did... I was suddenly interested in dating again! I did go over, say hi, gave him my number... and now we've been in a relationship for about three years. He now lives with me in Ohio.

    Good story, isn't it? I think so.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2008 6:43 PM GMT
    Besides the usual abduction, there have been other means of meeting...
    For example, my first BF was one of my employees and we were camping in the same tent on a work retreat when it all started. Brokeback owes me some royalties, dontcha think?
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    Aug 10, 2008 9:57 PM GMT
    That's a cute story Stan - hope it works out for you. I always think friends first is the best option. But I only realized that in the last couple of years.

    I met my only TRUE boyfriend online. We were friends for six weeks before we gave dating a try and it lasted 2.5 years. We don't still speak but we have a mutual friend who lives in Providence that I still talk to regularly - who was 20 at the time and is now 28 (the mutual friend - not my ex).

    I met another guy i dated for 4 months while white water rafting. We didn't connect til a year later though.

    Short term dating - met at a party, a party, and a party. Hmm.
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    Aug 11, 2008 4:59 PM GMT
    LaSalle04 saidI am a sigle guy living in the NYC Metro. Personally, I have never been coupled with someone longer than a few months - I feel like I consistently have met the right people - just not at that point in my life.

    Having said that....

    I have also made some decent friends who make up for my lack of "couple-dom". Now, most of these friends are coupled up themselves and in very loving and happy relationships (gay and straight). I always go to them for advice about what I could be doing incorrectly (like having sex too soon or getting really drunk and saying ILY 3 months into it...silly things like that) as well as how to improve my own dating skills to make them more productive, more interesting, and most importantly more fun.

    One of the walls I come up to seems to be when I ask my friends "how did you meet _____?" Normally it is at a bar or in school or through friends seem to be the most common...but what about other ways like a sports league, at the beach while getting a beer, in Vegas playing BlackJack, and so on...does this actually happen in real life?

    So I am asking you Real Jockers - how did you meet your partner, what happened that drew you two together...give us the dirt - hey maybe it'll even give us single guys some new ideas on how to sucessfully meet more people!


    Hi LaSalle icon_smile.gif
    I'm totally with you on this one.
    I live in a suburb of Toronto (almost the center of the universe icon_smile.gif )and, just like you, I have never been coupled with anyone for more than a few months. I have come to a point in my life where I'd like to extended the length of these relationships. Now, not being particularly prone to the whole gay scene (clubs, bars, bath-houses, etc.) somewhat hinders the possibility of meeting new people. To add insult to injury, the vast majority of my friends (about 95%) are also str8, and the environment I work in doesn't make it any more conducive to meeting new (gay) people. So like LaSalle, I too would be interested in some advice... It seems as if recently I'm wearing a gay/guy repellent...
    Any thoughts are welcome icon_neutral.gif
  • VinBaltimore

    Posts: 239

    Aug 11, 2008 5:15 PM GMT
    joggerva saidHere's the breakdown of current relationships, so far:

    Online - 4 - Unclevername, palikari, outofthegrey, lissenup
    Abduction icon_twisted.gif - 2 - RBY71, hafakasi
    Work - 1 - steven_patterson
    Funeral - 1 - caesarea4
    Best Friends First - 1 - XRuggerATX
    Sports League - 1 - ruggersw8


    New catagory - "Blind date"

    My good friend George was working for placement agency and really wanted to start working for one of his clients. One day the head honcho mentioned that his cousin was moving to Baltimore from Boston and he wondered if George could help him "meet people".

    So basically, George pimped me out to try to get in good with the boss. After several hours of negotiating with George just how far I was willing to go to help him land the job, I agreed to the set-up -- totally sight unseen! I knocked on Jonathan's door having no idea what he was going to look like!

    A few dinners, a few laughs and the next thing I know there was a U-Haul full of crap pulling into my driveway.

    And here we are still together after more than six years.

  • SuneFL

    Posts: 129

    Aug 11, 2008 5:30 PM GMT
    A bar; not one of your sweaty, seedy, shirtless dance clubs, but a gay, neighborhood watering hole.

    Went to the now defunct bar after a work event with several co-workers. I drank too much and was later told I spent the night staring at the same guy. I'm also told He was staring back.

    Two-weeks later, we all went out to the same bar. This time I didn't drink as much. And, while we were looking around and playing a game of "who melts your butter?" icon_smile.gif... I picked "him" out again. He was apparently playing the same game with his friends. After some prodding, I built up the courage, walked over and said, "Hi."

    That was more than 8 years ago. I guess you could call it love at first sight -- twice. We both now look older.. but even today, he catches me staring at him from time to time. He says, "what?" I just smile.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2008 6:30 PM GMT
    We met at a club. I was out with a couple friends and he was on a date. I hadn't gone out to the clubs in a about a year. I was getting over a major break up. My ex and I had been together for 5 years and for the last year and a half of that I found out he had been cheating, a lot. I was bitter and not interested in seeing anyone. It seemed like he had been with half the guys in the bar. I am not exaggerating either. Anyway, my mom said she was tired of seeing me so miserable and talked me into going out. During the night I noticed Norm across the bar. He was really cute and had a really great smile. He has a contagious laugh too. Some of my friends came up to me and said smile, you look angry. I jokingly said give me something to smile about. They said what will it take? I pointed to Norm and said him. While I was at the bar getting a drink they went over and got him. I turned around and there he was. HI so called date was upstairs playing pool most of the night. We talked and laughed all night. We danced and talked some more. I think the big thing is he made me laugh. It had been a long time. We learned we had a lot in common and had been through the same type of break up around the same time period. Did I say he made me laugh? We exchanged phone numbers and made plans to go out the next night.
    We dated for a few weeks before having sex. This was the first time I have ever done that. I am glad because we really got to know each other. When we did have sex it was amazing. It has been 20 years and we are still together and will be till the end. By the way when we make love it is still amazing.
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    Aug 11, 2008 7:49 PM GMT
    He was doing the art direction for the company I worked for. One of his housemates had been talking about me, so when he visited our office, he asked for a tour in order to meet me. We met briefly during the tour, but then about a week later, his housemates (a couple) invited me over for dinner and what I'm sure was going to be a threeway with them.

    I introduced myself again! I forgot meeting him a week early so he was irritated I didn't remember him. Nonetheless, I was very interested in him and spend most of the evening talking with him, not the couple that had invited me over for dinner and fun. (I'm guessing they are more careful with potential tricks now ;)

    Anyway... after the dinner, I asked them for Kelly's email address. I'm emailed him and we set a date. In the meantime, I was in a bachelor auction at the Round-Up in Dallas. There was lots of bidding, but when the crowd parted, the winning bid was for $480 from Kelly. I asked why he bid on me when we already had a date set and he said he "wanted to make sure he'd get a second date."

    And the rest... as they say... is history ;)