Asking a guy out...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2008 9:03 PM GMT
    I have a really cute guy that comes through my work on occasion. I THINK he is gay and I would really like to ask him out. The problem is I am sooo shy whenever I see him. The other night when he came in, I started talking to him about some random stuff, just idol chit chat, and my heart was raceing. I know I wanna date him, but I am just soo unsure if he is actually gay or if he is VERY "metro" in his appearance and clothing.

    How would you go about asking someone out when you have no idea if he is gay or straight, and how could I tell if he would even be interested in going out with me. After all, he is very sexy with a nice toned body, and I am...well...fat.
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    Jul 05, 2008 9:10 PM GMT
    hmmm, does he work for the company? potential lawsuit.
    Is he freelanced by the company? He could become very uncomfortable.

    anything to do with work is a major hazard when it comes to relationships of any sort outside of a work related one.

    But to find out if a guy is a fellow homosexual, there are a few days.

    It will require you to have balls either way.

    Talk about things you've done that include other gay guys (erm, not sex dear)

    OR

    Ask him if hes straight or gay and if he likes fluffy bonsai kittens, it generally works for me, unless they feel bonsai kittens aren't cute, then it can turn nasty as the bitch shows her claws!
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    Jul 06, 2008 3:25 AM GMT
    Uhhh, not sure he is gay? ... work? icon_rolleyes.gif .. let it go Freaky .. Chit chat does not make for a potential boyfriend. There are plenty of out gay boys you can ask.

    I hear a heartbreak comin'
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 06, 2008 3:29 AM GMT
    Well first of all, you are not "fat"... and even if you are on the heavy side, that is no reason for thinking you might be eliminated from dating if he is gay.

    If you really like this guy and want to get to know him, I would encourage you to do something which would allow you to get to know him, but still withing acceptable "straight" behavior, like asking if he wants to do a movie sometime (I realize I don't know how well you know him) or a sports activity... anything for you to get to know him. Based on that perhaps you can determine if he is gay and proceed accordingly.

    You know we will want a report.....
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    Jul 06, 2008 3:35 AM GMT
    Bro, come on now, you know far more information is required. WHY do you THINK he is gay? What have been the topics of chit chat. There is a big difference between talking about that damn wind today and talking about the latest Cher concert. Give us some details and maybe we can offer a bit more. In the absence of better information though I agree with Hndsm ask the guy if he wants to grab a quick coffee at Starbucks, of if you know he has a certain interest engage it. For example if he's a cyclist ask if he wants to hit the bike trails this weekend, that will allow you to develop more information. If he runs out screaming or telling you that you are condemned to hell chances are he's not gay.
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    Jul 06, 2008 4:42 AM GMT

    Work's work. How about just seeing if you can be just plain old friends? Let go of the idea of dating altogether.
    Completely. This kind of thing, if it's going to happen (and the chances are slim),is going to take a loooonnnggg time. Probably for the better, because if something did happen and didn't work out, how would you deal with it after? How would he deal with it after?(sorry, Fatal Attraction re-run on TV this week :-O)

    Of course, we're both assuming he's a co-worker, or is he? If you work in a public place, he could very well be someone's client and not a co-worker at all!

    You'd have to give more detail to get a definite answer to your question.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2008 4:45 AM GMT
    Wish I had words of wisdom for ya... Unfortunately I'm the worst in this department - and don't even ask guys I know to be gay out. icon_neutral.gif
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    Jul 06, 2008 4:55 AM GMT
    meninlove saidWork's work. How about just seeing if you can be just plain old friends?
    This was what I was trying to say.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2008 4:57 AM GMT
    Well just for clarification, I work in a convieance store/gas station and he is a semi-regular customer. The reason I think he is gay is some of his mannerisms like his walk(more of a swagger), his definatly polished appearance(sexy fashion), and the fact that I have seen him ony have like 2 other guys in his truck and NEVER seen him with a girl. Not much to go on I know ><.

    So far "chit chat" has revolved around our respective jobs(he is a cook/caterer), how crappy both our vehicles are, and how "well" eachother is for that particular day. God I'm so lame lol. I have absoultly NO problems flirting with other guys, even the ones I know are definatly straight. Why can't my flirt powers work with him? lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2008 4:59 AM GMT
    DANGER! DANGER! The ice is not thick enough to support human traffic! No dipping in the company ink well!

    ...And I don't care what "size" you might physically be, it is your attitude, confidence and personality that will win the heart, mind and soul. Win those and the body will follow!
    Gain a friend first, and then maybe, gain a lover!
    Maybe you can ask him if he went to the local pride parade and festival, or if he has any of the rainbow colored rubberband braceletts or whatever, or maybe offer him one and gage his reply...... But again make a friend first!
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    Jul 06, 2008 5:01 AM GMT
    Freakyninjamonkey said I have absoultly NO problems flirting with other guys, even the ones I know are definatly straight. Why can't my flirt powers work with him? lol
    You tell us, ask him out and see what happens.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2008 5:14 AM GMT
    Eat me, Drink me .. ask the Caterpillar .. or Alice
    15caterpillar.jpg
    04drink_me.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2008 5:15 AM GMT

    Alright, Bill just came in with the dogs and read everyone's posts. He offers this one up: We've got a friend who's completely straight, a muscled Cary Grant type, metro-sensitive, loads of gay friends he and his wife hang with, and is currently up the coast helping his other straight friends build a deck to host a gay wedding on this weekend (Tonight. We're in Canada)If he stopped in to the gas station regularly and you eventually asked him out, he'd likely say no in the nicest way, but would probably not get to know you better. We both know him well, and think that if you got to know him and became friends FIRST, then asked him out, he'd probably say he was flattered and that it was nice to know he had what it takes, both ways. And he'd still be a friend! Tell you what, he's back tomorrow, so I'll ask his opinion. Sounds like this guy you're eye-ing might be like our friend.
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    Jul 06, 2008 9:48 AM GMT
    LOL Find out if he's gay first! icon_razz.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 06, 2008 10:04 AM GMT
    Yup...

    Two pronged approach needed here
    First you need to know if he's gay
    If you're friendly with him chit-chat and drop in some clues that only a gay man would pick up on

    Tell him that you happened to go to a certain club last night...a gay club
    If he knows it..... >>>> Ding*
    Something like that
    But yeah... like some guys have said
    touchy subject anytime when there's work involved
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 07, 2008 4:49 AM GMT

    Hey Freakyninjamonkey,

    I said I'd do it and I did. My straight friends just got back from that gay wedding up the coast, (over 80 people and only a handful were gay. Progressive or what!) so I told Mr. B about your predicament. You guessed it, he said what my guy had thought.

    As a straight guy, he'd take zero offence if you were friends first. So make real good friends with that guy, and eventually talk about your gay friends and see how he reacts. This is a great way for him to figure out you're gay without anyone actually stating it. Nice ice breaker. He suggested that if you ever do ask him out, make sure there's no line-up behind him. heheh. Good luck, man!