Hey All,

Thanks for all your replies -
I've followed some of your advice and I finally talked to my partner - I reached a point of unhappiness and frustration that makes believe I don't want to be with him anymore... we’ve been fighting for anything because all day I think about the issue and I build up the ager and when I see him at home for any stupid reason I blow up...

Said this - last weekend we had a very good conversation about it - It happened because I probably got to a stage where I wanted to shack him so badly to make him understand there is a very big issue here and if not solved soon will bring us apart.
So after hrs of talking he finally opened up to me and talked - as I already mentioned he has intimacy issues - he cannot deal with sex if becomes close to someone - that's why he never had a long or serious relationship. We have been together for 1 year now…
So he wanks and watches porns to avoid the problem to "deal" with me sexually - other option is wanking together with porns - it all comes from when he discovered he being gay.. so I believe a lot to do under there...

Well, we both agreed he needs to see someone - also he will stop wanking and watch porns so he will be horny and will come to me... hopefully… Will he though?

All this is putting me down because I now feel like the all sex thing is a therapy and not something enjoyable for either of us... also the fact I always have to keep an eye on him if he wanks or not really kills me...

This morning I've checked his history (laptop) and all was deleted.. so made quite suspicious... so I asked if he wanked since the talk (last Monday)-he said no he didn't but he was annoyed at me - saying after the talk of course not! but I saw the history and it's a bit odd (he used to delete the history at the beginning when he didn't want to find out we was wanking all the time) Is he wanking and not admit it? I told him all this is not easy for me and he's putting through this and the minimum he can do is stop wanking and work on this together otherwise it won't be fair on me...

Fuck! how hard is that- today is Friday and do not even feel like spending time with him over the weekend...

What would you do? How can I get out of this circle.. I can't stop thinking about it ....
Very upset – just feel down and wanna be alone and cry – sooo dramatic! I know!
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