Blowjobs - What the hell?

  • Imarks

    Posts: 19

    Mar 04, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    I can never seem to cum from a bj. No matter how good it was or anything. It's been really hard for me to cum at all when I get with a dude.

    Anyone had this? Advise?

    I feel like shit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2012 3:09 AM GMT
    Not really gay?

    Jokes aside, do you get jerked off while getting head? I read somewhere that some guys need extra stimulation or something, I'm not an expert though but I hope you find your answer soon!
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 04, 2012 3:09 AM GMT
    Don't feel bad about it. If you enjoy it, you enjoy it. It doesn't have to be what makes you cum.
  • Imarks

    Posts: 19

    Mar 04, 2012 3:17 AM GMT
    I did get jerked off. It didn't help either. this guy was really hot too but just can't no matter what.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2012 3:19 AM GMT
    Well maybe you're just putting too much stress on yourself to cum. It's like Timbales said, just enjoy yourself and if you cum you cum. Unless your partner wants you to cum then maybe you can just explain it to him and hope for the best.

    PS: Do you cum when you jerk off on your own and how long does that normally take?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2012 3:20 AM GMT
    Actually....if you are trying too hard it can backfire on you....
    Relax and enjoy all of the sensations and realize that the guy giving head may not be very experienced or good at it. If he only concentrates on .stimulating the head or Glans of your penis....you are missing out on a lot of stimulation!....Ever try it with a black out mask, or ever let him rim you or some prostrate stimulation(toys or finger or dick...) while getting head? Also make sire that you are not dehydrated and that your blood sugar is not out of whack as these will also inhibit or kill an orgasm...Try different positions...use visualizations or role-play and foreplay to get you hot..... try not JO as often to build some pressure....or get a pro to give you head! I would volunteer and I KNOW there are others on here that could play you like a fine instrument too! It will happen when you are relaxed and comfortable with the situation.
    GOOD LUCK!icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2012 3:31 AM GMT
    You just need to find a natural born cocksucker who knows how to take directions. Too many guys suck dick the way THEY want to suck dick. This is wrong. Cocksuckers need to suck dick the way the guy getting his dick sucked wants it sucked. Learn how to train cocksuckers the right way, and they are always great to keep on speed dial.
  • DesireIron

    Posts: 426

    Mar 04, 2012 3:34 AM GMT
    its_not_that_common_it_doesnt_happen_to_
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2012 3:56 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidYou just need to find a natural born cocksucker who knows how to take directions. Too many guys suck dick the way THEY want to suck dick. This is wrong. Cocksuckers need to suck dick the way the guy getting his dick sucked wants it sucked. Learn how to train cocksuckers the right way, and they are always great to keep on speed dial.


    This.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Mar 04, 2012 10:44 AM GMT
    Contrary to what EVERY gay porn movie indicares; not every man "gets off" on bjs.

    I enjoy a bj for a few minutes of foreplay; but soon it's time to move on to other things.


    icon_wink.gif
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Mar 05, 2012 1:33 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidIt all boils down to you not relaxing enough to release your load.
    You have no problem cumming when you're alone... so the problem is internal and all in your head. After reading your profile, I'm thinking there may be some issues regarding your acceptance of being openly gay with anyone,, even someone you're having sex with.


    Have to agree with this. Might be a psych thing for you, accepting who you are, being more open in your life about being gay, might help you feel more comfortable getting head and sharing your load with someone.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1766

    Mar 05, 2012 1:42 PM GMT
    I like guys who can take it all in their mouth, but I mostly get off if I can throat-fuck them. Normal bjs don't really do it for me either, like licking the top and stuff like that mostly feels weird for me. So don't feel too stressed about it, you're not alone icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2012 1:36 AM GMT
    never had that problem,it's all about relaxing and being comfortable
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 14, 2012 6:13 AM GMT
    It's hard for me to cum from a bj too, I usually need a hand to do a little pulling or a finger in me bum tapping that prostate of mine.

    Try it that way!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2012 2:28 PM GMT
    you need to relax more but you also probably need to find better cocksuckers too, try fingers in the ass or maybe a little self nipple action too while you are being blown
  • torontoguy222...

    Posts: 410

    Mar 15, 2012 2:42 PM GMT
    Hmm, I hear ya. I think blowjobs are OK, but I often prefer other things. Plus, I find BJs sometimes overwhelming/over-stimulating, leaving my body all shaky and tense, but making it tougher to cum.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2012 3:26 PM GMT
    Do it with two hungry cocksuckers.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2012 3:45 PM GMT
    Assuming there are no outstanding medical issues, a common reason for this is that people can't cum from oral sex because they're too used to their HAND giving them sexual release.Manual stimulation has a much different feel than oral stimulation, and if it is the way you most commonly get off, then you might not be able to cum easily from any other method (particularily the "kung fu grip" some guys use, which NO mouth can duplicate). Dan Savage addressed this issue in one of his columns, and suggested getting a Fleshjack/Fleshlight (or similar product) to essential "retrain" your penis to react to a stimulus other than your hand (in this case, a stimulus that feels like flesh, but isn't your own).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2012 2:20 AM GMT
    i agree with xana, also age, stress, not a good bj or expectation of a bj, do you like getting deepthroated, etc.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Mar 19, 2012 9:12 AM GMT
    for me I usually need stimulation/pressure on the base of my cock in order to cum, so a bj with some hand action at the base is what I need to cum for a bj. There are for sure times I can come without that, but usually only if I haven't gotten off in a day or too...or if I'm really horny at the time.

    I used to never be able to cum from a bj so what I started doing was only jacking off with a lot of lube or lotion and only working the head of my dick...after doing that for a while it became easier to get off from a bj.

    My boyfriend can almost never get off from just me blowing him, he has a really big dick though so I can't really get all the way down. But he prefers to jack off into my mouth anyways ;-)
  • Ridiculance

    Posts: 40

    Mar 20, 2012 9:40 PM GMT
    Yeah I can cum during a BJ but it takes FOREVER. -__- I jacked off with my hand all the time (Single life lol). Now that I'm with someone on a regular, I stopped jacking off to build up some sexual frustration/pressure within myself. And it worked like a charm after a while. But I totally understand man. It's annoying as fck to want to cum but can't even though it feels amazingggicon_wink.gificon_twisted.gif

  • Apr 16, 2012 6:13 AM GMT
    who knows? we're not sex therapist. icon_smile.gif
    some guys can only cum when they are eating baloney sandwiches, and others are unable to climax unless a smooth guy is rubbing their nipples. Just relax and find what works. You don't have to come. after all, you're not trying to get your partner pregnant. as long as you feel good, fine, and no mess to clean up.
  • xebec75

    Posts: 243

    May 28, 2012 4:37 PM GMT
    xanadude saidAssuming there are no outstanding medical issues, a common reason for this is that people can't cum from oral sex because they're too used to their HAND giving them sexual release.Manual stimulation has a much different feel than oral stimulation, and if it is the way you most commonly get off, then you might not be able to cum easily from any other method (particularily the "kung fu grip" some guys use, which NO mouth can duplicate). Dan Savage addressed this issue in one of his columns, and suggested getting a Fleshjack/Fleshlight (or similar product) to essential "retrain" your penis to react to a stimulus other than your hand (in this case, a stimulus that feels like flesh, but isn't your own).


    ^this

    Dan Savage says this too...
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    May 28, 2012 6:41 PM GMT
    Same here. You can be the best lil cock sucker, but I wont get off from any sort of BJ. But then again I also don't get of from topping, bottoming or anything really except for my right hand... Sad.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    May 28, 2012 6:43 PM GMT
    xebec75 said
    xanadude saidAssuming there are no outstanding medical issues, a common reason for this is that people can't cum from oral sex because they're too used to their HAND giving them sexual release.Manual stimulation has a much different feel than oral stimulation, and if it is the way you most commonly get off, then you might not be able to cum easily from any other method (particularily the "kung fu grip" some guys use, which NO mouth can duplicate). Dan Savage addressed this issue in one of his columns, and suggested getting a Fleshjack/Fleshlight (or similar product) to essential "retrain" your penis to react to a stimulus other than your hand (in this case, a stimulus that feels like flesh, but isn't your own).


    ^this

    Dan Savage says this too...



    Well I didnt see this, but this could be it.