Monogamous and open relationships

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2012 9:54 AM GMT
    Who is in a monogamous relationship and who is in an open relationship?
    Why does an open relationship work for you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2012 4:04 PM GMT
    Open......
    Can't say if it's working or not.....depends on who you ask. icon_question.gif
    Get back to you on this.
  • blueandgold

    Posts: 396

    Mar 04, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    Monogamous. I don't judge people who are in one, but I could never be in an open relationship. Its just now how my mind works.
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    Mar 04, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    Search the forums, this subject has been discussed numerous times.
  • zenmonkie

    Posts: 228

    Mar 04, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    Monogamy is pretty old fashioned in my mind. In an open relationship here to a point. The point being that we'll only play together and only if we both agree on someone, which means not often and not a prerogative. If a certain guy sticks with both of us (figuratively lol) it may morph into a 3 way relationship, but if handled wrong and without maturity and humor, that can be a treacherous path. Any guy who says he doesn't at least fantasize about others in his mind is a liar.
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    Mar 04, 2012 5:28 PM GMT
    Call me old fashioned, but if in a relationship, I want it to be monogamous.
    I'm friends with a few couples who have open relationships and it works for them. That's great, but not for me.
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    Mar 04, 2012 5:29 PM GMT
    eb925guy saidSearch the forums, this subject has been discussed numerous times.


    This.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2012 7:36 PM GMT
    Monogamy is for lesbians.
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    Mar 04, 2012 7:40 PM GMT
    Nothing wrong with fresh perspectives.
    Not to mention that someone's status may have changed since they posted years ago.
    (And that had the OP revived an old topic, he'd be accused of that.)

    My partner and I are in a monogamous relationship.
    Going on 16 years now.

    I guess we're really lesbians. (:
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Mar 04, 2012 8:02 PM GMT
    In cities with large gay populations, I really question if any couples in which both individuals are monogamous by choice and not trying to sneak around on the side. I haven't met any.

    I think it's sad really. I'm sure several will say "well whatever works for a couple is their prerogative," but isn't it sad that so few can be satisfied being with just one person? Everyone fantasizes, but to say that this one person you supposedly love can't satisfy your physical urges just dampens the meaning of a relationship in my eyes.

    All of the open relationships are also stealing singles from the pool that could actually settle into relationships of their own which just screws singles over even more. The gay world is in a sad place (and yes, I know straight couples do it, too, but you will never convince me that it's nearly as widespread percentage-wise).

    Now to go polish my shoe buckles...
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    Mar 04, 2012 8:11 PM GMT
    dannyboy1101 saidIn cities with large gay populations, I really question if any couples in which both individuals are monogamous by choice and not trying to sneak around on the side. I haven't met any.

    If you're meeting people in bars/clubs or on Manhunt, then that's possibly true.
    It's the people you don't meet - because they're home with their partner - that are missing from your experience/data.

    For example, I met a couple in Chicago that had recently adopted a child.
    They said they now spend most of their social time with other (straight) couples with children.
    Day care functions, play dates, etc.
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    Mar 04, 2012 8:16 PM GMT
    dannyboy1101 saidIn cities with large gay populations, I really question if any couples in which both individuals are monogamous by choice and not trying to sneak around on the side. I haven't met any.

    I think it's sad really. I'm sure several will say "well whatever works for a couple is their prerogative," but isn't it sad that so few can be satisfied being with just one person? Everyone fantasizes, but to say that this one person you supposedly love can't satisfy your physical urges just dampens the meaning of a relationship in my eyes.

    All of the open relationships are also stealing singles from the pool that could actually settle into relationships of their own which just screws singles over even more. The gay world is in a sad place (and yes, I know straight couples do it, too, but you will never convince me that it's nearly as widespread percentage-wise).

    Now to go polish my shoe buckles...


    WOW!

    YOU haven't met any?!??!!?

    REALLY?!?!?!

    You seem so worldly and sophisticated -- it's hard to believe there is ANYthing you haven't seen in your vast travels.

    Well, if YOU haven't seen it - it probably doesn't exist.

    Too bad there isn't some sort of alarm system to prevent Singles Pool theft. Who says it's a victimless crime, right?!?!?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    ^^^

    Cash 1-Dannyboy 0
  • flahotstuff

    Posts: 154

    Mar 04, 2012 10:05 PM GMT
    Had both beginning to believe neither works....whats next!
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    Mar 04, 2012 10:10 PM GMT
    flahotstuff saidHad both beginning to believe neither works....whats next!


    HA!

    Gold-Star answer of the day!!!!!

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 04, 2012 10:14 PM GMT
    Cash said
    dannyboy1101 saidIn cities with large gay populations, I really question if any couples in which both individuals are monogamous by choice and not trying to sneak around on the side. I haven't met any.

    I think it's sad really. I'm sure several will say "well whatever works for a couple is their prerogative," but isn't it sad that so few can be satisfied being with just one person? Everyone fantasizes, but to say that this one person you supposedly love can't satisfy your physical urges just dampens the meaning of a relationship in my eyes.

    All of the open relationships are also stealing singles from the pool that could actually settle into relationships of their own which just screws singles over even more. The gay world is in a sad place (and yes, I know straight couples do it, too, but you will never convince me that it's nearly as widespread percentage-wise).

    Now to go polish my shoe buckles...


    WOW!

    YOU haven't met any?!??!!?

    REALLY?!?!?!

    You seem so worldly and sophisticated -- it's hard to believe there is ANYthing you haven't seen in your vast travels.

    Well, if YOU haven't seen it - it probably doesn't exist.

    Too bad there isn't some sort of alarm system to prevent Singles Pool theft. Who says it's a victimless crime, right?!?!?



    HAHAHAHA, OOOOH SHE GOT CLOCKED!!!! icon_lol.gif!



    Cash, I Love you man! XOXOXO;)
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    Mar 04, 2012 11:42 PM GMT
    I would love to find monogamy, but guys are too insecure and have too many urges to be satisfied with just one person for too long.

    I'm waiting for the right guy to be monogamous with, until then I suffer through the throws of judgmental men.

    However, from what friends have said about open relationships, it can work, for instance: I know a guy who got into a relationship, then after a few years got into incredible shape and started getting all the attention. Then him and his partner discussed it, they opened their relationship so the guy could experience all the new attention, sex, and men, and finally they got to a point where they closed the relationship again. They're still together, after 8 years, so it can happen but communication is key.

    Hope this helps icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 05, 2012 12:16 AM GMT
    Haaretz saidMonogamy is for lesbians.


    I thought plaid was
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2012 12:42 AM GMT
    Currently I'm single. But I've been in both. And personally, by very much I might add, I prefer Monogamy. I'm a hopeless romantic and as such, I love doing things with my partner that I prefer to keep between us. Sure, for some, that dries out the relationship, keeping it closed like that. But for me, it shows the person how special they are to you.
  • kevjo

    Posts: 38

    Mar 05, 2012 12:47 AM GMT
    Currently single but prefer monogamous. Despite assertions to the contrary, I think monogamy is possible.
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    Mar 05, 2012 1:32 AM GMT
    My relationships have all been monogamous...unless you count the ones during which I cheated as polyamorous. (Two of the four.) I'm too possessive to agree to an open relationship up front. I want my man to be MINE.

    But adults are free to make their choices and enjoy them. I don't see the loathing toward non-traditional arrangements. (Although I do get cross with couples who accost me and won't take no for an answer.) Those not in them...do not have to partake. Approval of others is not necessary. Live our lives, be free.
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    Mar 05, 2012 1:46 AM GMT
    Cash said
    dannyboy1101 saidIn cities with large gay populations, I really question if any couples in which both individuals are monogamous by choice and not trying to sneak around on the side. I haven't met any.

    I think it's sad really. I'm sure several will say "well whatever works for a couple is their prerogative," but isn't it sad that so few can be satisfied being with just one person? Everyone fantasizes, but to say that this one person you supposedly love can't satisfy your physical urges just dampens the meaning of a relationship in my eyes.

    All of the open relationships are also stealing singles from the pool that could actually settle into relationships of their own which just screws singles over even more. The gay world is in a sad place (and yes, I know straight couples do it, too, but you will never convince me that it's nearly as widespread percentage-wise).

    Now to go polish my shoe buckles...


    WOW!

    YOU haven't met any?!??!!?

    REALLY?!?!?!

    You seem so worldly and sophisticated -- it's hard to believe there is ANYthing you haven't seen in your vast travels.

    Well, if YOU haven't seen it - it probably doesn't exist.

    Too bad there isn't some sort of alarm system to prevent Singles Pool theft. Who says it's a victimless crime, right?!?!?



    Fucking love this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    owenowen saidWhy does an open relationship work for you?
    Because there are too many hot guys in the world to stick with just one.
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    Mar 05, 2012 2:14 AM GMT
    beneful1 said
    Haaretz saidMonogamy is for lesbians.


    I thought plaid was


    Isn't it flannel?
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    Mar 05, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    well... as long as there are cargo shorts/pants and/or a subaru forrester... it's a lesbian.