Coming out !

  • alex35

    Posts: 15

    Mar 04, 2012 11:27 AM GMT
    Hey everyone !
    Tomorow i'll do my coming out to my best friend but i'm so stressed about it! Do you have any advices to me ? icon_smile.gif
    Thank you for your answers !
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    Mar 04, 2012 2:24 PM GMT
    It'll be like a roller coaster. The anticipation and the first drop will always give you butterflies then you'll have your feet back on the ground and talk about it every now and again! You'll be sweet as.

    When I have something important to say to someone I lead by saying 'I have been meaning to tell you something...' because after that, you can't back down but you've made a conscious decision to do it so all that's left is to do it.
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    Mar 04, 2012 2:41 PM GMT
    My main advice is this.

    Those who love you don't love you because you sleep with women. They either love you or they don't.
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    Mar 04, 2012 2:44 PM GMT
    Life is too short to be lived in the closet man. You'll be so much happier in the long run. Just be very honest about things. Best of luck !

    If people don't like just because of who you fuck then they ain't worth knowing.
  • alex35

    Posts: 15

    Mar 04, 2012 2:50 PM GMT
    Thanks for your replies.
    I know she loves me but i'm just stress about her reaction. Beacause she thinks that she know me by heart! We know everything about eachother and i hope she could understand why i haven't told her before !
    I'll say you the result tomorow ! ;)
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    Mar 04, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    If she's your age.. you have nothing to worry about.. she already knows.
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    Mar 04, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    alex35 saidThanks for your replies.
    I know she loves me but i'm just stress about her reaction. Beacause she thinks that she know me by heart! We know everything about eachother and i hope she could understand why i haven't told her before !
    I'll say you the result tomorow ! ;)


    If that's true, then she already knows icon_wink.gif. She is probably just letting you come to terms with it on your own.
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    Mar 04, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    alex35 saidThanks for your replies.
    I know she loves me but i'm just stress about her reaction. Beacause she thinks that she know me by heart! We know everything about eachother and i hope she could understand why i haven't told her before !
    I'll say you the result tomorow ! ;)


    It's usually a HELL of a lot easier to come out to female friends man.

    I think u'll be pleasantly surprised by her reaction or she may already have a hint already anyway.
  • alex35

    Posts: 15

    Mar 04, 2012 2:56 PM GMT
    Yes she's my age . Yeah she knows it probably(i hope, i'll be easier ;) )
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Mar 04, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    don't do it next to a guillotine
  • alex35

    Posts: 15

    Mar 04, 2012 3:15 PM GMT
    Um in fact we'll be at at school ! haha
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    Mar 04, 2012 3:17 PM GMT
    cry in advance so you're more steady for the conversation
  • HollywoodHist...

    Posts: 403

    Mar 04, 2012 3:25 PM GMT
    Congrats icon_smile.gif You seem to have your head around it and that's great. I also came out to women in first. Just easier. I like the earlier suggestion to start with a lead in like "I've been meaning to tell you..." because then you can't chicken out. And take a deep breath, and pause. All this body language will tell her it something meaningful to you and she'll know it's not a joke or something to take lightly. Can't wait to hear how it goes! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 04, 2012 3:29 PM GMT
    Hey, you are young. This is a different generation of people.

    Honestly in my experience and those who I know who also came out. Depending on your background and location. One of the easiest things I have ever done. The hardest part is bringing it up. Try to think of an easy way to seguay the conversation or you will end up not doing it.

    Literally went like this every time a did it

    me: Hey remember that guy i used to hang out with, we were bfs

    them: ohhhhh, cool

    them: totally cool, so, are you still together?.glad you told me..what else is new?..


  • alex35

    Posts: 15

    Mar 04, 2012 3:32 PM GMT
    Yeah i know when say her '' I have something to tell you'' We'll must to go out because we'll be in a homework room lol
    Now i just want to be this moment to tell her ...
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    Mar 04, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    Hey Alex,

    Best of luck to you and I hope it really goes well. Honestly, since your best friend is a girl, I am sure she will take it fine. Women are generally more accepting of this sort of thing...i mean there are exceptions but still. Again, wish you nothing but the best and let us know how it goes.

  • alex35

    Posts: 15

    Mar 04, 2012 3:50 PM GMT
    Thank you alexander ! Make sure that i'll tell you !
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    Mar 04, 2012 3:52 PM GMT
    alex35 saidThank you alexander ! Make sure that i'll tell you !


    Please do icon_smile.gif. Also, you live in France, aren't they more accepting in Europe? Or is that just a rumor?
  • alex35

    Posts: 15

    Mar 04, 2012 4:41 PM GMT
    [quote]aren't they more accepting in Europe? Or is that just a rumor? [/quote]
    Um more accepting than where ? haha Yeah i think in europe people accept it well but like everywhere there is execptions!
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    Mar 04, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    Expect the worst.

    That way everything else will be a relief icon_smile.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 04, 2012 4:45 PM GMT
    Think carefully about all scenarios in advance. Be realistic. Glad you are taking the step. Good luck with it!
  • alex35

    Posts: 15

    Mar 04, 2012 5:59 PM GMT
    Yeah i think about all( hope that) but in fact it's difficult to know how will be the reaction of someone !
  • iquson

    Posts: 8

    Mar 04, 2012 7:17 PM GMT
    retribution of being gay in my country is die and people usually cant accept u (more than in ur country) but with all this statement I told my best friend 1year ago when I was in ur age , he accept me and I am more comfortable with him now , after him I told some of my other friends . coming out make u happier and more comfort and being in closet make u morose .
    also the others told u its easier to come out for girls and since she loves u , surely she will has good reaction . expect her to understand u why u haven`t told her before.
    after tomorrow u can talk about alot of new things , like who from u both can find his/her mate or competing cause fun on picking up one boy icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2012 7:37 PM GMT
    Keep in mind that you will feel a lot better after, and a great friendship will get even better (no secrets).

    Not that you would, but it's better not to preface it as if you have something bad to say (e.g. "mom/dad, I have bad news... I'm gay"). Then they will take it as bad news and this will be the focus of any further discussion.

    In general, keep in mind that some people will need time to think about it and accept it. Even we didn't wake up one morning, thinking "duh, I'm gay" and accept it. Most of us took years to get there. Be prepared to give others time, too.

    Lastly, while often it's true that they already know (or suspect), sometimes women/girls can be in denial if they have a crush on you. That can also lead to initial anger (they've spent all this time chasing you and it's never going to happen). Then again, if they spent so much time and nothing happened... they should be on the clue bus.

    Have courage & strength, and good luck with it!
  • DaneS

    Posts: 24

    Mar 04, 2012 7:43 PM GMT
    I was extremely nervous when I came out to my best friend. We've known each other for about 8 years and he didn't know about me this whole time. One day when I was really depressed about a break up of my partners of 3 years, I decided to blatantly tell him what I've been doing this whole time.

    To my surprise, he took it very well and we're closer than before ( I guess I should have mentioned that he's straight). Anyway, every now and then he'll give me crap about something (jokingly) but I just give it back to him.

    My advice is don't stress too much because if they're truly your best friend, they honestly wont care or see you any different. icon_biggrin.gif