He has a girlfriend

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    Mar 04, 2012 4:48 PM GMT
    So I'm out last night drinking with some friends bar hopping and we go to a hole in the wall bar to play some beer pong. While there I immediately notice this guy who was exactly what I am looking for in a man, simply gorgeous. My straight friends that I'm with start making jokes about me checking him out. He was with his group of friends in which he was all over this girl so I immediately just brushed him off as another really attractive straight guy. The night goes on and so does the beer and in between turns he comes up to me to talk. We talk for about 10 min and I can't help but flirt. Keep in mind, I'm not sober. I notice that we got really really close to each other like about 6 inches apart and he made this smile at me that told me he was interested. He then made a comment about gay bars and I replied with which one and I named them. He then smiled and said "Are you gay?" I of course told him smiling "yeah" he then told me he's bisexual but don't tell anyone and that he has a girlfriend who's with him or he would give me his number right here. He told me to come back to this bar next Saturday and he would be here.
    Ok so this bar is pretty awesome so I was planning on going back anyways. I would love to see where things go with this guy but I can't help but feel guilty because of his girlfriend situation. Also, who knows if he's even going to be there. I asked my friend but of course they give me their biased answers of yes go for it and if he's trying to find himself then it's not bad. But I'm not a home wrecker. What do you think RJ?
    tl;dr Met a hot in the closet guy at a bar but he has a girlfriend.
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    Mar 04, 2012 4:58 PM GMT
    id do it, id go and see him, yet if it does get a bit serious you may have to get him to choose , its up to you but daaaam im tempted to see what this guy looks like
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    Mar 04, 2012 5:02 PM GMT
    Remember the golden rule, OK? Put yourself in the girlfriend's place for a moment and consider what this guy's doing to her. It's your choice to be a part of that or not. Protect your sense of self integrity.

    warmly,

    -Doug
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    Mar 04, 2012 5:21 PM GMT
    If you're just looking for a hookup, then make a try. If you're looking for something more, I wouldn't go there unless you don't mind him having girlfriends while he's with you.
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    Mar 04, 2012 7:25 PM GMT
    gymfreak1987 saidid do it, id go and see him, yet if it does get a bit serious you may have to get him to choose , its up to you but daaaam im tempted to see what this guy looks like

    Hopefully I will be able to post pics next week.
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    Mar 04, 2012 7:27 PM GMT
    meninlove said Remember the golden rule, OK? Put yourself in the girlfriend's place for a moment and consider what this guy's doing to her. It's your choice to be a part of that or not. Protect your sense of self integrity.

    warmly,

    -Doug

    I know but if he's actually gay and using bi as an way to get his foot in the door(which I did at first too) he's going to break up with her anyways.
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    Mar 04, 2012 7:28 PM GMT
    RIGuy60 saidIf you're just looking for a hookup, then make a try. If you're looking for something more, I wouldn't go there unless you don't mind him having girlfriends while he's with you.

    Good point, to be honest I have no clue what I want.
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    Mar 04, 2012 8:03 PM GMT
    Ckfeezy saidI know but if he's actually gay and using bi as an way to get his foot in the door(which I did at first too) he's going to break up with her anyways.

    Then there's no harm in waiting. icon_smile.gif

    If this isn't just a roll in the hay, are you going to trust him knowing that he cheated on her with you?

    Also keep in mind that while some guys use "bisexual" as a "bridge" to homo-hood, other are bisexual.
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Mar 05, 2012 1:26 AM GMT
    CK I wouldn't do it, if he's going to break up with his girl let him do it and if he's really interested in you he will pursue you. I tend to notice a lot of closeted guys tend to do this and it's not fair to the girlfriend or the us.
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    Mar 05, 2012 5:46 AM GMT
    im telling you to hit that
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    Mar 05, 2012 5:52 AM GMT
    Try putting yourself in his girlfriend's place. A little difficult, since you're struggling with this... Okay, how about you try putting yourself in his place? Do you go out with other guys on the side? If so, go for it.
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    Mar 05, 2012 5:56 AM GMT
    Ckfeezy saidSo I'm out last night drinking with some friends bar hopping and we go to a hole in the wall


    *dirty thoughts intervene and impede reading on*
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    Mar 05, 2012 5:57 AM GMT
    Ckfeezy said
    meninlove said Remember the golden rule, OK? Put yourself in the girlfriend's place for a moment and consider what this guy's doing to her. It's your choice to be a part of that or not. Protect your sense of self integrity.

    warmly,

    -Doug

    I know but if he's actually gay and using bi as an way to get his foot in the door(which I did at first too) he's going to break up with her anyways.



    Then I'd wait for that to happen first, but then, that's me.

    -Doug
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    Mar 05, 2012 6:13 AM GMT
    If he didn't give you his number or email or anything, I don't know if I would necessarily go back specifically on Sat. It's like making yourself available for him without him having any skin in the game. He's got the gf already. If he frequents the bar, you're bound to bump into each other again at some time.

    Otherwise, unless you set up a time to meet, how will you know when to get there or when to leave? Then you'll be there the whole night waiting, peeping at the door ever so often. You'll say to yourself that you're going to just to hang out, but deep down, you'll be thinking about it and you'll be a little anxious Sat. What if he doesn't show? Could fuck up the vibe for the night.

    Just throwing out the devil's advocate version because the only guys who are more unpredictable than gay guys are bi guys. God bless them though. They are pretty fun to hook up with.
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    Mar 05, 2012 6:24 AM GMT
    Brownale said What if he doesn't show? Could fuck up the vibe for the night.

    Meh, honestly I'll be with my friends playing beer pong so if nothing else I'm going to have a great time and I'm a pretty happy drunk. If he doesn't show it's not going to bother me very much. I'm more nervous that he will show up.
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    Mar 05, 2012 6:25 AM GMT
    archon saidim telling you to hit that

    The exact words my best friend used. haha
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    Mar 05, 2012 6:31 AM GMT
    Tough call, but I'd go for it. Cliche but, you only live once! Good luck and let us know how it goes icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 05, 2012 6:34 AM GMT
    I would say go, keep it short if you interested and wanna get to know him, ask him to hang out another time, get dinner. But if you are just looking for some fun, well you know what to do.
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    Mar 05, 2012 6:40 AM GMT
    Give it a shot. But remember how you met him. If he's willing to cheat on his GF then should you and him become serious...there's always a chance he'll cheat on you. Even if he doesn't there may be trust issues. If it's just sex then I'm sure he will be a good top.
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    Mar 05, 2012 6:52 AM GMT
    TotalTopJock saidGive it a shot. But remember how you met him. If he's willing to cheat on his GF then should you and him become serious...there's always a chance he'll cheat on you. Even if he doesn't there may be trust issues. If it's just sex then I'm sure he will be a good top.


    I figured somebody would say this and its kinda true but what if he cheated on his girlfriend to be with you because you were the one?
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Mar 05, 2012 6:56 AM GMT
    Ckfeezy said
    archon saidim telling you to hit that

    The exact words my best friend used. haha

    Well you know he is not the monagamous type and the way he cheats on her is the way he will cheat on you.icon_idea.gif If it just sex, and he's not married go for it.
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    Mar 05, 2012 7:00 AM GMT
    Congrats u can be his one night stand before he goes back in the closet
  • bladeaddict

    Posts: 93

    Mar 05, 2012 7:04 AM GMT
    A couple things come to mind:

    1) How would you feel if he were gay instead of bi and he already had a boyfriend?

    2) Bi guys can be trouble, because we are often very confused and conflicted. Be careful it doesn't turn into a situation where you are falling for him and he is not available because he can't choose (or won't choose), he won't come out, or he chooses her instead. (Not all bi guys are the same, of course, but being attracted to both sexes can create confusion and indecision.)
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    Mar 05, 2012 7:06 AM GMT
    Lemme just say this and it's from my experience of a similar situation.

    If you fall for him your FUCKED and not in a good way.

    Best of luck if you decide to pursue it.
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    Mar 05, 2012 7:13 AM GMT
    Go back next Saturday and see where things go from there. If he brings his girlfriend again, then he's probably not that serious. If not, then his intention is to see you that night which makes it a bit more serious, IMO.