A Lesson in Love: 101

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    Mar 05, 2012 1:41 AM GMT
    (BR: This is my very first post. I was writing it as a simply journal log. But then I realized that it's something that everyone should read.)

    Currently I’m not looking for a relationship. Before, I was. I was ready. I knew how some things would work out, and where I stood on the matter. But not anymore. I’ve realized there just aren’t any guys out there like me. Old fashioned with their hearts. Monogamous. Guys who can make big gestures for the ones they love, run after them if they’re leaving, be exclusive only to them, show that they simply and honestly only want that one person. But nope. That degree of romance, like an old species, is nearly dead. If I am not the last of its kind, then it is surely near its end. Men are naturally physical; however, we are not creatures. We are humans. Sure, we are mammals. But we do not act so primitive. Guys nowadays simply care about having sex, doing drugs, drinking alcohol, and then having more sex. Not even bothering to learn the person’s last name or what their favorite color is. Guys don’t know how to be genuinely intimate with someone. Now they know how to actually pretend to be; like it’s a trade skill or something that can simply be learned. No! Intimacy before was something special, exclusive; a secret kept between those two people who had the pleasure of sharing it. And it couldn’t be replicated by any means. It was unique, like a fingerprint, from person to person. I may not have a job. But the largest insult someone can give me is comparing me to the men of today. I do not smoke. I drink in admiration. I am very respectful and humble, and I am grateful for everyone that is in my life. I give compliments, not insults. And when I fall in love, I show that person. It isn’t a simple title to me; it’s a way of life. Defending that person with your own body, as if you were a shield. Fighting for that person as if you were a sword. When you fall in love, it’s not something that words can explain. It’s something that can only be felt. And I won’t try and make myself sound like I’m a pure, all loving being. I have made mistakes, hurt feelings, and broken hearts in the past. I have cheated, I have dated my best friend’s ex without his permission, I have been in a polygamous relationship, and I have been in an open relationship. I may be young, but I already know how things work. I’ve learned from those previous choices. However, what I have not learned…..is how everyone can be like this? Though the world can be painful and dark at times doesn’t mean one has to close their heart and make it cold in order to survive. They just have to express more love and kindness. Like a light, they have to let their feelings shine. Their words resonate with someone who is yearning to hear them. True, keeping your heart open also makes it subject to pain, like a castle without a mote. However, it also subjects others to be able to trust in one another, to want to help one another, to try and fill the world with more love and good things than hate and the bad things. And btw, I’m not saying those who aren’t committed to one person or monogamous are evil. Love comes in different forms, shapes, and sizes. Some people can love two people. Some can love seven. I, myself, can only love one. But for some, it just takes time. Some things change. Those who have their walls up eventually might bring them down for the right person. But it all takes a lot of patience, time, effort, and also….no pressure. When we fall in love with someone, we fall in love with them because of who they are. Not what they have been or what they possibly could become in the future. We are in love with simply everything that they are. It’s just like a parent’s love; it should be unconditional. And I know that saying this all and doing it are two different things. But at least try. Don’t give it a simple 10% or a mere 50%. Give it a whole 100%. That way, whatever happens, good or bad, you know that you gave it your absolute all. There won’t be any excuses or any regrets. Thank you all for reading this, and if you have any opinions or suggestions, please leave them. Just also be respectful.

    And if you are in love, call that person up right now. Just to hear their voice. Just to know that they’re okay. Just to hear about how their day went. Just to know when is the next time you’ll be seeing them. There are many reasons to talk to them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    "I have made mistakes, hurt feelings, and broken hearts in the past. I have cheated, I have dated my best friend’s ex without his permission, I have been in a polygamous relationship, and I have been in an open relationship. I may be young, but I already know how things work. I’ve learned from those previous choices. However, what I have not learned…..is how everyone can be like this?"

    I think it's worth considering that others are simply going through their learning curves just as you described about yourself in this quote. icon_wink.gif

    For some, open relationships work, or just being single and having casual partners, for others like yourself, and us as well, such arrangement don't work.