Going to a Wedding with my X? Good? Bad? Should I?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 07, 2008 3:46 AM GMT
    So, I was invited to go to a wedding in Savannah,Ga by my X. His friends are pressuring him to be more comfortable with his sexuality and they tell him to invite someone. He's also in the wedding party and played waterpolo for UGA (very cute guy).

    My delema is that I dont know how:
    1) I feel about seeing my X knowing that I'll be back in Mexico on Monday. Don't know if I am up for those rekindle, but I am leaving weekends. Although on another note I haven't had sex in a while.

    2) Being the "gay" couple of the evening. I would like to think that I am comfortable being out, to my close friends. I have never been out in public and I don't know if I am ready for that.. or maybe I should take that step. My parents know, my close friends know... I don't know what to do.

    Sometimes I still wonder if this is the plunge that I want to take. Could I still go back and be straight, have kids, live a semi-normal life? I don't know but I thought I would throw this out there. Maybe someone can shine some clarity on my jaded mind. Or some jackass can make fun of my mental confusion...

    Thanks in advance,
    cuidanse,
    md



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 07, 2008 6:17 AM GMT
    I can't answer the other questions, only you can.

    But, I can offer up a question to a question

    locoauz said
    Sometimes I still wonder if this is the plunge that I want to take. Could I still go back and be straight, have kids, live a semi-normal life?


    Would you want too? is that really normal? can you really do that?

  • zi0nx5

    Posts: 27

    Jul 07, 2008 6:57 AM GMT
    locoauzCould I still go back and be straight, have kids, live a semi-normal life?


    Read up on the Ex-Gay Christian Movement, regardless of whether you're affiliated with that faith. The very founders of that movement have come out and denounced their own actions of trying to "become straight" "again" and forcing the doctrine down the throats of other people. So no, a "straight" life isn't a "normal" life, it's just the life that is lived by 90% of the world's population. "Normal" is usually defined as what the majority (or the most influential group) practices, but that doesn't make it normal.


    [quote]I feel about seeing my X knowing that I'll be back in Mexico on Monday. Don't know if I am up for those rekindle, but I am leaving weekends. Although on another note I haven't had sex in a while.[/quote]

    The fact that you're asking this means that there will likely be lingering feelings from the relationship that will crop up. If you were completely over it, then more than likely this question wouldn't be bothering you. So I'm just suggesting that since you're asking, you should be able to recognize that whatever feelings you still have for this guy... it's gonna rear its ugly face again and you'll have to figure out a way to deal with that healthily.


    [quote]Being the "gay" couple of the evening. I would like to think that I am comfortable being out, to my close friends. I have never been out in public and I don't know if I am ready for that.. or maybe I should take that step. My parents know, my close friends know... I don't know what to do.[/quote]

    So your significant others know of your orientation. But do they accept that and treat you the same as before they knew? If they're cool with it, then by all means show it in public. And even then, all the attention is on the newly weds and not necessarily you, so going out in public with your ex may not even be a big deal relative to what others are thinking about for the occasion. If your significant others haven't gelled with the fact that you're gay then I would exercise caution, because that might inadvertently divert attention from the newly weds, to you. you can be bold and make a statement that you shouldn't have to hide yourself and who you are, but doing so might make others think you're stealing the show.


    Take that for what it's worth I guess. Hope you make a sound decision.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 07, 2008 11:53 AM GMT
    Why are the two of you Ex's? Why do you think there will be sex if you go to the wedding with him? I am just trying to understand if you guys are just friends or really making a second go at a relationship.

    Also, you can only fake it straight for so long. And you will be miserable and you will take it out on your wife and kids. You can still have the house and kids with a m and you will be happier.
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Jul 07, 2008 3:30 PM GMT
    I'd try to stop over-analyzing and just choose what you want to do. Figure out the rest later. Do you still like this guy? Does he still like you? Do you want the sex? Do you really care what all of these people think? It sounds like you don't know them and won't see them again for a long time, if ever.

    Seems to me like this is the perfect occasion for you to see how you feel being 'out' in public.
    Maybe it won't be something you enjoy, maybe it will.
    Maybe if you sleep with the ex again, leaving will be tough, maybe it won't.

    You don't really know what's going to happen, or how you're going to feel, about any of this, so why think about it too much? Just go with your gut and do what you feel like.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 07, 2008 6:47 PM GMT
    Go have fun its "just another day in life"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2008 3:50 AM GMT
    Hey thank, I think I needed to sleep on it... I am def gonna show up. It'll be nice to be in Savannah and I miss my buddy....


    As far as my insecurities I guess those get worked out with time... Thanks for the support and your responses they actually mean a lot.