Clothes for the Middle Aged Man

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    Jul 31, 2007 3:16 PM GMT
    Okay, I'm not sure exactly how to formulate this, but here goes.

    I was born without the gay fashion gene (not good at interior design either) and now that I'm getting in better shape and wanting to look good and start with the dating track, I need to try to find clothes that are somewhat stylish looking, but everything I see seems to be for a 20 something rapper. I'm kind of dense when it comes to clothes, but I want to be able to turn some heads.

    One of the things I did when I first got out of my LTR was go to a color consultant and get my color palate done. As girly as that may sound, it was great for me. As I'm so clueless about things, I now have something that I can bring with me and check to see if it will look good on me (I call it Garanimals for Grownups) as I would usually buy clothes and they just wouldn't look right. One of the things she told me is that I tend to dress in a very casual or sporty way, but I talk about myself in a very artistic or dramatic way, so my clothes don't match who I say I am.

    I figured there must be a bunch of athletic fashionistas here too. Any suggestions?
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    Jul 31, 2007 5:35 PM GMT
    My one rule is dark on top, light on bottom.

    Oh, you're talking about clothes. ;0

    No, really, to cover your weight, you should wear a dark color on top with lighter pants.

    I also shop at Casual Male. I'm actually at the lower end of their sizes, and one day, I hope to fit into Old Navy.

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    Jul 31, 2007 9:19 PM GMT
    A Pair of trews, not to tight, an early-period liene, out of real linen if you can get it, and a decent over-tunic, something with trim or embroidery, and don't forget a decent belt to hold your dagger, tankard, purse, etc..

    Oh.

    Middle Aged Man

    NOT Middle Ages Man.

    My mistake.
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    Jul 31, 2007 10:56 PM GMT
    Matt45710, I have the same problem. I'm glad you brought it up. My only hint with color is when a gay friend says to me, "that's your colour, you should wear that more" then I take it and fly with it. Other than that I'm an absolutely fashion dolt.

    So that I do not look like one of those old guys trying to look 20, I tend to stick with t-shirts and jeans for casual. For suits I try to go dark and simple, always a white shirt to be safe but I might have a fabulous floral or bright colored tie, you know, just for a hint of colour, and usually of the color my friends say looks good on me.

    I'll certainly be reading the postings here for some idea's. Especially the "turning heads" suggestions. It's hard to coming out as a fashion dolt when you're gay. Thanks for sharing. I'm with ya brother, I feel your pain.
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    Aug 01, 2007 12:05 AM GMT
    For this middle aged man: Levis 501's, a Ralph Lauren T-shirt, and New Balance athletic shoes.
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    Aug 01, 2007 12:30 AM GMT
    O M G !

    Don't push the age line, guys! You guys are still young (so am I, DAMMIT!). Just dress the way you feel you look the best, and don't worry so much. Yes, coordinate the colors, don't dress in JNCOs, don't wear chains, and above all, DON'T WEAR POLYESTER!!!!! Just don't dress like an old man, PLEASE!

    Matt, frankly, I don't think you need to wear clothes at all. LOL
  • NewDrew

    Posts: 24

    Aug 01, 2007 2:04 AM GMT
    Jeans are always good. Expensive ones are best. I like the shirts from Ben Sherman if I want to look good. Don't forget some nice underwear....freshpair.com aussiebum.com or internationaljock.com Vary the colors...I'm more successful with the guys when I don't try too hard...just shorts and a crummy shirt and a big comfortable smile!
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    Aug 01, 2007 2:47 AM GMT
    Matt, frankly, I don't think you need to wear clothes at all. LOL

    Sundown, that's quite the complement, but I think that I'd look more fashionable with some clothes on than off. Everyone's doing the clothes off thing at Herring Cove in Ptown, and I can't just follow the crowd. ;-)

    Anyway, a number o fguys here have mentioned that they've really tried to dress nicer and not so casual, and I'm wondering if some of them could chime in. I can do the jeans thing, but would like some intermediate fashion tips.
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    Aug 01, 2007 2:58 AM GMT
    43 is late youth; 64 is middle age;)

    You're good looking, you don't need to try too hard. Check out what other 30 and 40 year-olds are wearing, what makes one look good, another dumpy.

    Check out the men's shops in Boston. Some clothes will make you look youthful, not like you are trying to pass for 20. Trying them on is the best way to tell.

    Some designer stuff is hideous and overpriced, but some is tasteful, well-made and flattering. Go shopping with a friend or two.

    Sure you will do well!
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    Aug 01, 2007 3:00 AM GMT
    By all means, avoid Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, J.Crew, and Old Navy (and for that matter, anything with logos on them).
    I'm determined to start dressing my age, but not older than my age. Some established stores like Brooks Brothers have knowledgeable staff, but as hard as they've tried, they're still too conservative for me.
    I can find enough "dressy casual" things at Banana Republic, still. Other designers like Joseph Abboud are sold at several department stores and have a good range.
    Oh, and definitely peruse GQ, Esquire, Details, and Men's Vogue. Not for the expensive trendy stuff, but there are a lot of good ideas for color/pattern/fabric combinations.
    (btw=old retail queen reformed 15 years now)
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    Aug 01, 2007 4:07 AM GMT
    reEvent51_smaller_edit.jpg
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    Aug 01, 2007 4:15 AM GMT
    Good luck finding clothes that fit if you're 50+ and take care of your body.

    Most of the trousers at department stores are Erkel pants - designed to be worn under the armpits, with NO BUTT.

    My partner & I have to buy our casual slacks at Gap for Men. They still have clothes tailored for athletic bodies.

    Of course we were the only ones over 30 who were in there.... but so what?

    And then there are jeans - 501's are tight in the legs, but the boot cut legs are a little better.

    Forget dressing for your age - good luck finding something that fit's if you're not 20# overweight!

    J.
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    Aug 01, 2007 4:41 AM GMT
    Eddie Bauer. Durable, Athletic to Dressy, no messy logos and masculine.
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    Aug 01, 2007 4:50 AM GMT
    I have been begging my friends to send my name to What Not To Wear. I can't figure out the clothes thing at all. I want Clinton to make fun of me in the 3-way mirror. I want to make Stacy say "Shut up!" But I suppose they'd force me to wear kitten heels, and I just don't have the calves for that.
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    Aug 01, 2007 5:15 AM GMT
    My 20-year-old nephew works at Abecrombie and Fitch. He says that when anyone over 35 comes in the store and asks where the dressing rooms are, he wants to point to the door.
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    Aug 01, 2007 5:20 AM GMT
    OW: Guess that means when he turns 35 they'll show him the door, too, right?
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    Aug 01, 2007 5:25 AM GMT
    I laughed when he said that, Joey, but not for the reason he thought.
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    Aug 01, 2007 5:32 AM GMT
    I dress too young to piss off the fashionistas. :p
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    Aug 01, 2007 5:33 AM GMT
    that sentence can be read two ways.
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    Aug 01, 2007 1:56 PM GMT
    You are never too old for a casual oxford with the sleeves half rolled up worn with jeans look. Or with the sleeves down. Or torn off, if you're into that sort of thing :p.

    But seriously, that's basically my 'look'. I typically like to wear an oxford with some jeans (I don't always tuck in the bottom of the shirt--I know, I'm SUCH a fashion-forward man).

    Or if I'm in a rush, I just do the t-shirt and jeans thing ;).
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    Aug 01, 2007 1:59 PM GMT
    Obscenewish: Nice beard. I just want to know what kind of underwear you'd put on under your pretty dress.

    Also you forgot the crazy sun and moon earrings.
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    Aug 01, 2007 1:59 PM GMT
    OW, where did you get that picture of Crim? I figured it was him at the RenFair. ;-)

    Yes, I've said that I'd like to have the Fab 5 at Gay Eyes for the (Gay) Guy come and fix me up.

    I'll check out the magazines that 1969er suggested. I've always seen the fashion displays in magazines and didn't know what to make of them. Again, most seemed geared toward 20-somethings. I also don't want to go for the real conservative look either. I can get dressed up in suits if I need to, but that's not always the most impressive thing to a guy.

    Keep the suggestions coming!
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    Aug 01, 2007 2:00 PM GMT
    Duh, I mean Queer Eye. I'm out of it today.
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    Aug 01, 2007 2:23 PM GMT
    Yes, that's Crim as an evangelical Merlin, marking the Bible with his staff.

    Honestly, I don't see the big deal about "age-appropriate dressing." Unless as a 20-something you subscribed to excessively trendy stuff, why is it an issue what you wear in middle age?

    Both Pardox and Tim mentioned jeans and t-shirts. How is that different from the what a young guy typically wears?

    I grew up at Brooks Brothers. I was sent there twice a year to be wardrobed and hated it, finally rebelled at 18. But I started back a few years ago when the Italians took over the store and updated the look and cut of the clothes.

    I also confess I like Kenneth Cole's stuff, even though I have to buy xxl shirts usually. I also like Banana Republic. I used to wear a lot of Claiborne but no more. I still like Armani. I still hate Versace.

    The problem isn't age; it's finding clothes that aren't made for anorexics and the obese.

    Typically, though, I am in jeans or shorts and a t-shirt every day. I dress worse than I did in my youth. My clients tell me I should increase my fees so I can dress better. Maybe I'll start wearing Elvis-style jumpsuits or go tranny with a denim burka.

  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Aug 01, 2007 2:27 PM GMT
    I think I am going thru some mid life crisis. I dont know why, I just love to dress like a young guys in their 20's. Lately I bought myself a Harley Davidson t-shirt, black leather jacket , cap, and a thick stainless steel chain. During my obsession with Brokeback I just love to do cowboys with tight jeans, big buckle, denim jacket and the boot. The other style in my closet is one of those military look with dog chain , military pants and the t-shirt.

    If you guy come to South East Asia, this thing are really cheap due to the cheap immitation of the real thing from the USA. Usually it is make in some cheap labor country like Thailand.

    Anyway, I dont think I look that bad with all this young, junkies stuff. I kinda do catch up, because I been fat thru out my thirties and dont have opportunity to wear those stuff. Now I am in shape again it time to experience them. I dont give a darn, what other people think about me. I just not interested to wear the baggy, grandfather style cloth I use to wear to hide my big tummy. I think I probably be like this from now on. Macho, masculine , sporty look for me..