How do you know you are attractive?


  • Mar 06, 2012 3:38 PM GMT
    You may think I troll, you may think I am kidding but I am very serious.

    I wonder. How do you know you are attractive if you're not out of the closet and never go out to gay clubs. I think I am average, some people online say Im goodlooking but how can you really know.. Maybe I have been living with a wrong perception of myself all this time..

    Edit: Thanks all for your sincere comments. I didnt post a picture of myself because I made this profile just to ask this question. I already have a real profile on this site and I know how bad threads can get with all the flaming going on.. So I was afraid to ask it on my real profile. You are right I should get more confidence.
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    Mar 06, 2012 4:26 PM GMT
    Californian1988 saidYou may think I troll, you may think I am kidding but I am very serious.

    I wonder. How do you know you are attractive if you're not out of the closet and never go out to gay clubs. I think I am average, some people online say Im goodlooking but how can you really know.. Maybe I have been living with a wrong perception of myself all this time..



    Here's an idea: Post some pictures and we'll give you our impressions.


  • Mar 06, 2012 5:56 PM GMT
    Is there no other way..?
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    Mar 06, 2012 6:08 PM GMT
    Californian1988 saidIs there no other way..?


    If you're that uncomfortable post your face pics on the private account and unlock it for those interested parties.

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    Mar 06, 2012 6:11 PM GMT
    Californian1988 saidIs there no other way..?

    no
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    Mar 06, 2012 7:57 PM GMT
    Californian1988 saidIs there no other way..?
    Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

    What other way do you think there could be?
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    Mar 06, 2012 8:10 PM GMT
    Californian1988 saidYou may think I troll, you may think I am kidding but I am very serious.

    I wonder. How do you know you are attractive if you're not out of the closet and never go out to gay clubs. I think I am average, some people online say Im goodlooking but how can you really know.. Maybe I have been living with a wrong perception of myself all this time..


    Ask straight women.
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    Mar 06, 2012 8:27 PM GMT
    Take a good in the mirror - look at yourself as if you've never seen your own face before. Then ask yourself, "would I do him?" Problem solved.

    I was half-serious there, but there's still some truth in that. You shouldn't have to ask other people about your looks. They may give you a slight idea, but deep down you should know where you stand.

    Look objectively -not based on anyone else's standards- and see what you come up with.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Mar 06, 2012 9:34 PM GMT
    Interesting question, Ive wondered this about myself as well. icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 06, 2012 9:42 PM GMT
    Generaleclectic saidTake a good in the mirror - look at yourself as if you've never seen your own face before. Then ask yourself, "would I do him?" Problem solved.

    I was half-serious there, but there's still some truth in that. You shouldn't have to ask other people about your looks. They may give you a slight idea, but deep down you should know where you stand.

    Look objectively -not based on anyone else's standards- and see what you come up with.


    I think the problem with this is that its very hard to be completely objective especially when you're dealing with yourself. Sometimes people just can't help being bias and you'd more likely end up either under rating or over rating yourself.
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    Mar 06, 2012 10:00 PM GMT
    Californian1988 saidHow do you know you are attractive?
    When I look in the mirror, I get a hard on.
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    Mar 06, 2012 10:01 PM GMT
    Californian1988 said
    I wonder. How do you know you are attractive if you're not out of the closet and never go out to gay clubs. I think I am average, some people online say Im goodlooking but how can you really know.. Maybe I have been living with a wrong perception of myself all this time..


    This might not sound like it makes sense.

    When you feel attractive.
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    Mar 06, 2012 10:14 PM GMT
    No pic = ugly. Rules of the interwebz
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    Mar 06, 2012 10:15 PM GMT
    Larkin saidNo pic = ugly. Rules of the interwebz
    Incorrect. Some of the hottest guys I've hooked up with had no pics online. icon_wink.gif
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Mar 06, 2012 10:26 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Larkin saidNo pic = ugly. Rules of the interwebz
    Incorrect. Some of the hottest guys I've hooked up with had no pics online. icon_wink.gif


    icon_sad.gif you ruined my selfconfidence icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 06, 2012 10:29 PM GMT
    Daelin said
    paulflexes said
    Larkin saidNo pic = ugly. Rules of the interwebz
    Incorrect. Some of the hottest guys I've hooked up with had no pics online. icon_wink.gif


    icon_sad.gif you ruined my selfconfidence icon_razz.gif
    Self confidence is overrated anyway. As long as somebody else wants to sex you, it doesn't matter what you think about yourself...unless you also want to sex you.
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    Mar 07, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    I don't think that one can find self-worth from the validation of others. You are 'good-looking' if you think you are. Believe it or not, self-confidence is quite attractive.
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    Mar 07, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    How do I know I am attractive?

    Well I dont, I leave that up to people who are or aren't interested in all

    <-----this

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 07, 2012 2:18 AM GMT
    If you are not out, what difference does it make how your looks are perceived by others?
    Genuine attractiveness comes from within, and permeates outward while simply being the person that you are.
    In short, your attractiveness is what you make of your own image.
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    Mar 07, 2012 4:17 AM GMT
    you're probably ugly, 99% chance. sorry.

    david hall
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    Mar 07, 2012 5:11 AM GMT
    What a messed up thread! Sure there are very general measures of attractiveness in terms of weather you have something really weird going on with your face, but other than that, it's all a matter of taste, surely?

    I've been with guys I thought were 'out of my league' physically, but then they say they like slim guys. Or some people like that I'm half Italian, or some people like that I can string a coherent sentence. Different people will be interested in different aspects of you and it wont always be physical, sometimes it is emotional. I find that if I get to know someone I will find them more attractive than if I just saw their photo on website. I don't think we should be too deterministic about attractiveness.
  • jackp0t

    Posts: 50

    Mar 07, 2012 5:41 AM GMT
    go to a party/bar/club gay or straight and see how many people come up and talk to you.
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    Mar 07, 2012 6:34 AM GMT
    bobbob23 saidI think the problem with this is that its very hard to be completely objective especially when you're dealing with yourself. Sometimes people just can't help being bias and you'd more likely end up either under rating or over rating yourself.


    That is true, it's easier said than done. It's just best for people to be confident in their own looks, regardless of how they "rate" themselves.

    I just don't understand why it's so important for other people to validate us. Isn't self-validation what people really find attractive?
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    Mar 07, 2012 1:31 PM GMT
    Generaleclectic said I just don't understand why it's so important for other people to validate us. Isn't self-validation what people really find attractive?

    This is true and these are words we should all try to live by.
    UNfortunately the OP has made it clear he's seeking other people to validate him, even in the absence of any usable data like pictures.
    So, apply the following formula: rate the attractiveness level of everyone you've slept with. Eliminate the top and bottom 30% since these represent occasions when you were either undeservedly lucky or too desperate. The mean attractiveness quotient of the remaining 30% indicates your station in gay society.
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    Mar 07, 2012 1:39 PM GMT
    I personally don't think I am, as I'm only 5'3, I hate my hairline and I have no facial structure at all And my top two teeth are crooked.. I hate looking in the mirror because I always have different expectations. However, I still get 5 messages on grindr a day from guys... But never get a reply when I message a guy. So go figure. You are what you are to some people.

    Can't all be beggers and choosers.