Does marriage scare you?

  • RupCadell

    Posts: 17

    Mar 08, 2012 3:59 PM GMT
    I've been with my partner for almost three years now and marriage is looking likely.

    But it scares the crap out of me! I'm 30 and used to a lot of independence. Also, "forever" is so intimidating!

    Does marriage scare you at all?
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    Mar 08, 2012 4:00 PM GMT
    Your faceless profile scares me more.
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    Mar 08, 2012 4:19 PM GMT
    No, it didn't.
    You're not ready.

  • HollywoodHist...

    Posts: 403

    Mar 08, 2012 5:44 PM GMT
    Although we weren't ultimately able to get married, it didn't scare us at all. After three years, and now post your 20s, what do you think could be holding you back?
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    Mar 08, 2012 6:15 PM GMT
    It should scare the living shit out of any sane person. People in love are not in their right minds. That's why they do crazy things; evidence: bridezillas.

    Familiarize yourself with the marriage laws of the state in which you plan to marry. I got married (hetero) in a community property state. Half of everything I ever worked for went to someone who earned less than a third of what I earned in the course of the marriage and I mean everything: house (which she could have never afforded on their salary), savings, 401k (to which she never contributed a dime), my pension plan (to which she never contributed a dime), cars and furniture.

    You and your partner may be in love now, but you can't guarantee that will last. You can control your feelings/fidelity/actions but you can't control another's.

    Marriage for me? Never again.

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    Mar 08, 2012 6:23 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said, "It should scare the living shit out of any sane person."


    Not after 20 monogamous years it didn't. icon_wink.gif

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    Mar 08, 2012 11:08 PM GMT
    Choose a guy for more then his looks or his athletics in sex, choose a whole man and choose one that wants just you and you wont look back or ask this question. Asking this question is not about him, but is about you. You are defintely not ready.
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    Mar 08, 2012 11:35 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidIt should scare the living shit out of any sane person. People in love are not in their right minds. That's why they do crazy things; evidence: bridezillas.

    Familiarize yourself with the marriage laws of the state in which you plan to marry. I got married (hetero) in a community property state. Half of everything I ever worked for went to someone who earned less than a third of what I earned in the course of the marriage and I mean everything: house (which she could have never afforded on their salary), savings, 401k (to which she never contributed a dime), my pension plan (to which she never contributed a dime), cars and furniture.

    You and your partner may be in love now, but you can't guarantee that will last. You can control your feelings/fidelity/actions but you can't control another's.

    Marriage for me? Never again.



    There is absolutely nothing you can guarantee and I think meninlove are right. It's clear that you're scared but we tend to be scared of most things we can't predict, but when it's the right one you should just know (which should make you forgett all of your worries)
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Mar 08, 2012 11:38 PM GMT
    No; I'm not afraid of marriage.
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    Mar 08, 2012 11:48 PM GMT
    Yes.. yes it does.. but even being in love scares me.. but also, jumping off the high diving board scares me too, I do it anyway icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 08, 2012 11:54 PM GMT
    why get married when majority divorce after. Just live together like you are.icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 09, 2012 12:03 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    graphicabc saidwhy get married when majority divorce after. Just live together like you are.icon_wink.gif
    Rights and tax evasion, essentially. I'm Jewish, so I want as much money in my pocket as I can get.


    its not majority.. its half.. your chances at making it are pretty much 50/50... might as well do it if you want to then
  • SouthAthlete

    Posts: 51

    Mar 09, 2012 12:20 AM GMT
    Yes. I'm a strong believer in gay marriage. However, I just don't think I'm the type of person who could be tied down like that. I wish I wanted that, but idk. I guess that's why I'm a Sagittarius :p hopefully I can find someone who I can say I love, but that has yet to happen hahaha
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    Mar 09, 2012 12:31 AM GMT
    I've already been married and divorced. (Precedent setting case because we were the first couple in the country to get a divorce from a marriage in one state and from a civil union in another state at the same time - imagine my prideicon_confused.gif )

    Would I get married again? Sure.
    The problem is not 'marriage' as an institution, but rather the participants.

    If you don't like the 'forever' part, then don't get married. It really is that simple. If you'd like to water down or alter the vows in a way that your both comfortable, then you can do that. Keep in mind though that it's not just a emotional connection, its a legal business contract subject to laws that codifies that 'emotional connection.'

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    Mar 09, 2012 12:40 AM GMT
    I think marriage no longer makes sense in today's society. Straight or gay, two people will eventually grow apart. There are definite exceptions, but the ever-rising divorce rate supports this philosophy. Having said that, if my long-time crush ever asked me to marry, I'd say yes in a heart-beat (but, I guess, we should date for awhile first).
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    Mar 09, 2012 12:41 AM GMT
    hmmm no it doesn't scare me. The fact that my brothers and parents always say "get used to being single" in reference to gays and their reputation for being non-committal (stereotyping I know)... I am more afraid of ending up like my lonely, sad 50-something year old uncles...
    I totally wanna get married one day... to the right person icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 09, 2012 12:53 AM GMT
    JPtheBITCH saidMarriage per se doesn't scare me. It's the thought that it involves another person that does.


    Ahem...Mrs. Parker's seat has now been successfully filled here at the table.
    You.... the rest of you may go home now.
  • HollywoodHist...

    Posts: 403

    Mar 09, 2012 12:53 AM GMT
    GreenHopper saidYes.. yes it does.. but even being in love scares me.. but also, jumping off the high diving board scares me too, I do it anyway icon_smile.gif


    Brave man icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 09, 2012 12:54 AM GMT
    Hells no
    and
    I want to be the one to walk down the isle.
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    Mar 09, 2012 12:56 AM GMT
    captions-funny-11.jpg
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    Mar 09, 2012 12:58 AM GMT
    I look forward to it, with the person who can reciprocate the interest and the effort icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 09, 2012 1:07 AM GMT
    It scares me away.
    I follow this stereotype of men, I am scared of commitment.
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    Mar 09, 2012 1:17 AM GMT
    CoolStoryBro saidIt scares me away.
    I follow this stereotype of men, I am scared of commitment.


    It should. You're all of 19 years old.
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    Mar 09, 2012 1:22 AM GMT
    Brownale said
    CoolStoryBro saidIt scares me away.
    I follow this stereotype of men, I am scared of commitment.


    It should. You're all of 19 years old.



    Bwahahahahahaha
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Mar 09, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    No. I scare it.
    icon_twisted.gif