Closeted gays in Europe

  • ChadR

    Posts: 6

    Mar 11, 2012 3:38 PM GMT
    I have recently gone on exchange in France and there are so many clearly closeted guys it's painful. Does anyone find this somewhat annoying? to be honest I'd rather just hang out with straight men than closeted gay men- at least there's no awkward conversation or coded messages. Thoughts?
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    Mar 11, 2012 5:12 PM GMT
    All French guys seem/act gay. My gaydar goes bonkers every time I see one with a female.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Mar 11, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    uhh I suggest you re-evulatute your gaydar when coming to Europe icon_razz.gif
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Mar 11, 2012 5:15 PM GMT
    For example, all of these guys from Sweden are straight:

    emd1_30002385.jpg
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    Mar 11, 2012 5:16 PM GMT
    buddha_the_god saidFor example, all of these guys from Sweden are straight...
    ...to bed with each other when nobody is looking.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Mar 11, 2012 5:56 PM GMT
    When I first came to Germany, my gaydar went haywire. Now I hope I've adjusted. It's true though that many of the subtle clues we use in the States to identify each other work differently here. Clothes, hair, jewelry, piercings, tats... I'd be cautious interpreting these things.

    Even touching between men goes way beyond what I'm used to on the street in France among young men with Moroccan and Algerian backgrounds.

    That's not to say that Etienne4 didn't experience just what he said he did. I think there are closet cases in even the most tolerant of societies.
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    Mar 11, 2012 7:17 PM GMT
    I dont believe there is an epidemic of closted gays in europe in general tbh...

    It's interesting you had this experience with French guys... been there myself once, and I gotta say I found French guys (straight/ gay /bi whatever ) to be more tactile and openly affectionate with their friends (same sex and opposite sex friends) ... Maybe you are misreading these guys... Your gaydar may have been set off by genuinely straight guys who just happen to be more openly affectionate and tactile ...It's kinda a cultural thing I feel... Irish and British guys are not as much into the hugging or kissing the cheeks of their friends upon arrival at a meet up like French guys seem to be... Maybe you think these guys were all repressed closet cases when in fact they were perfectly straight... who knows
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    Mar 11, 2012 7:22 PM GMT
    buddha_the_god saidFor example, all of these guys from Sweden are straight:

    emd1_30002385.jpg


    That guy to the left is str8 ooooo bummer
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    Mar 11, 2012 7:22 PM GMT
    What you have to know is that in France, men are very very tactile between themselves. To say "hello" it's not uncommon that they kiss each other on the cheek and that's considered normal.

    Plus, fashion is very important there. Tight jeans, V-necks, purses etc.
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    Mar 11, 2012 7:24 PM GMT
    Here in Serbia kissing on the cheek is normal too but we do it three times icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 11, 2012 7:25 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI find it hard to believe that Frenchmen are closeted. France is a very progressive country in comparison to many other places in Europe.

    There are a lot of closeted, affected men in Italy, however. At least from my observation.


    Not surprising when you have idiots like this in charge.

    silvio-berlusconi-adjusting-tie-300x243.

    In November 2010 Mr Berlusconi hit out with the following: "It's better to like beautiful girls than to be gay."
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    Mar 11, 2012 7:38 PM GMT
    I have to readjust my gaydar settings even when visiting family in Québec... much like the French and other Europeans, they are *way* more tactile than Brit-descended North Americans.
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    Mar 11, 2012 7:49 PM GMT
    All this talk about Europeans confusing American's about what sexuality they are me thinking.

    Do American's think British people sound a tad 'gay' ? I've heard that said a few times and the funny thing is I think the American accent can sound quite 'gay' myself. It's the inflection I think.
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    Mar 11, 2012 7:55 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI find it hard to believe that Frenchmen are closeted. France is a very progressive country in comparison to many other places in Europe.

    There are a lot of closeted, affected men in Italy, however. At least from my observation.


    well, to be fair.. they do ridicule gay people out there horribly... i used to live near two gay parks, and everytime I walked by, in a day you could see hundreds upon hundreds of men meeting going there.. few of them looked gay to me though.. they just looked European... but I doubt they were all "out-of-the-closet" or anything
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    Mar 11, 2012 7:56 PM GMT
    intensity69 saidI have to readjust my gaydar settings even when visiting family in Québec... much like the French and other Europeans, they are *way* more tactile than Brit-descended North Americans.


    Latino's are more tactile too.. people often think I am flirting with everybody when I am just being myself and being very physically close to everyone up north
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    Mar 11, 2012 8:06 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI find it hard to believe that Frenchmen are closeted. France is a very progressive country in comparison to many other places in Europe.

    There are a lot of closeted, affected men in Italy, however. At least from my observation.


    humm...you're wrong. France is much less progressive than the UK or Spain for example. Yes, there is a large rejection of religion in the public culture there. However, there is a large cultural homophoby among the population. There are several violent crimes commited against the gay community each year.

    believe me there is a reason why there are so many closeted gay guys in france.
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    Mar 11, 2012 8:40 PM GMT
    whateveryo said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI find it hard to believe that Frenchmen are closeted. France is a very progressive country in comparison to many other places in Europe.

    There are a lot of closeted, affected men in Italy, however. At least from my observation.


    Not surprising when you have idiots like this in charge.

    silvio-berlusconi-adjusting-tie-300x243.

    In November 2010 Mr Berlusconi hit out with the following: "It's better to like beautiful girls than to be gay."


    This one needs context to really spell out how awful it was. It was Berlusconi's defence when he was accused of paying a minor for sex.
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    Mar 11, 2012 8:43 PM GMT
    Just remembered something!

    When I was an exchange student in Sweden there was a straight Canadian guy who exclaimed "All the girls are hot and all the guys are gay! This is going to be so easy."

    It was not easy (for him).
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    Mar 11, 2012 8:46 PM GMT
    grofte saidJust remembered something!

    When I was an exchange student in Sweden there was a straight Canadian guy who exclaimed "All the girls are hot and all the guys are gay! This is going to be so easy."

    It was not easy (for him).


    Bet you he refused to adapt to the gay european dress code that the girls there like?
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    Mar 11, 2012 8:48 PM GMT
    Closeted gays in Europe?? In the most accepting continent in the world? If you are a closet case in Europe, then you have issues.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Mar 11, 2012 9:03 PM GMT
    Etienne4 saidI have recently gone on exchange in France and there are so many clearly closeted guys it's painful. Does anyone find this somewhat annoying? to be honest I'd rather just hang out with straight men than closeted gay men- at least there's no awkward conversation or coded messages. Thoughts?

    Where were you in France - only Lyons? I don't know Lyons, but there are tons of gay bars in Paris, and they are full of men in their 20's. Also, the french are not generally open to strangers regarding anything about themselves. Gay men in France are just men. They don't wear armbands showing that they are gay. I think that to the french, sexuality is only a part of one's being, and there is nothing special about being gay. I think there is no closet from which to emerge. Also, I find that, except from the unassimilated immigrants, no one in France today gives a hoot whether anyone is gay or not. I would say that for my gay french friends, they are neither in nor out of a closet. They just are. I don't know any gay french men your age - perhaps it is different with them, but I would not think so.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Mar 11, 2012 9:12 PM GMT
    Shinobi said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI find it hard to believe that Frenchmen are closeted. France is a very progressive country in comparison to many other places in Europe.


    humm...you're wrong. France is much less progressive than the UK or Spain for example. Yes, there is a large rejection of religion in the public culture there. However, there is a large cultural homophoby among the population. There are several violent crimes commited against the gay community each year.

    I think it's you who are wrong, Shinobi. I think if you looked at the crime situation closely, you would find that the violent crimes committed against gays in france are done by members of the immigrant population, not the general french population.
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    Mar 11, 2012 9:39 PM GMT
    Aggieboy saidCloseted gays in Europe?? In the most accepting continent in the world? If you are a closet case in Europe, then you have issues.


    Yeah right, I'm not allowed to marry, I'm not allowed to have kids I'm not even allowed to donate blood. But I think the main differnce aren't the rights you have, it's the way you get treated by people. There are some places in Europe like Sweden (which probably is the most progressive country of all) or Spain which are pretty good, but that's for sure not true for all of them.

    btw I am out and I have to say it's pretty good in Vienna.
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    Mar 11, 2012 9:45 PM GMT
    GreenHopper said
    grofte saidJust remembered something!

    When I was an exchange student in Sweden there was a straight Canadian guy who exclaimed "All the girls are hot and all the guys are gay! This is going to be so easy."

    It was not easy (for him).


    Bet you he refused to adapt to the gay european dress code that the girls there like?


    lol, probably. and scandinavian girls usually don't like cocky guys.

    a friend of mine posted this link on facebook recently, to much laughter...
    http://www.bangguides.com/travel/dont-bang-denmark/

    some douchey (american) guy writing pick up guides, was obviously ignored by danish women, so clearly bitter and scorned, he then wrote this book ^ icon_lol.gif
  • conquer

    Posts: 305

    Mar 11, 2012 10:06 PM GMT
    life in westeren europe is way more tolerant than those in eastern europe.the uk and spain, as well as holland are probably the most tolerant places i've been. if you go to romania, the baltics, bulgaria everything is pretty much underground.

    i've worked with lots of people from around the world (i work on ships) and people from eastern europe always assume that gays are flamboyant and extremely effeminate like most of the dancers on board. they have a hard time understanding that most gay people aren't like that. i know a guy who's 40 works on board and is deeply in the closet. so entrenched i doubt he'll ever come out. but he never had a difficult time hooking up. then they don't believe me when i tell them that i'm gay, i've been told more than a few times by women that its "a shame" that i'm gay, then i say that your loss is someone else's gain.