I have discovered something most troubling.

  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Mar 12, 2012 12:38 AM GMT
    I did it again today. I was with a group today where there were several young guys, mostly in their 20's. We ended up at lunch and then at a mall. One of the young guys saw something he wanted and I bought it for him.

    The smile was awesome. Worth every cent.

    My problem is this has become quit a habit.
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    Mar 12, 2012 12:45 AM GMT
    So you just buy any cute guy whatever they want because they're cute? Man, I think you should just try and not do it... buying random people stuff isn't good especially if the guy isn't gay and there's no chance for anything to happen.

    When you're in the situation just remember that:

    Buying someone a gift isn't going to get you anything except a superficial relationship at most where the guy will just want you to buy stuff for him only. Do you really want to turn into a sugar daddy? Worse yet, you could end up catching a straight guy who will pretend to be into you just to get free stuff. Don't let them use you!
  • kolkii

    Posts: 147

    Mar 12, 2012 1:10 AM GMT
    you got played.

    either boost your self esteem so that you're enjoyment isn't based on another "smile."

    orrrr

    say fck it its my money i do what i wannnntt.. and buy him his own damn mall by sec 1031 exchanging it via self directed IRA LLC it with your reit trusts instead of buying a couple measly gucci trinket that any plebeian can afford.
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    Mar 12, 2012 1:22 AM GMT
    conservativejock saidI did it again today. I was with a group today where there were several young guys, mostly in their 20's. We ended up at lunch and then at a mall. One of the young guys saw something he wanted and I bought it for him.

    The smile was awesome. Worth every cent.

    My problem is this has become quit a habit.


    Well at least you are recognizing this habit. I don't really know what to make of it. If you have money, buying something for someone to make them happy is not necessarily a bad thing. Just don't be generous to a point where you are starving. I'm a believer that whatever good energy you throw out in the world will come back to you one day.
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    Mar 12, 2012 1:38 AM GMT
    First off I do want to say that was very nice of you. Although that was nice of you it's important to note certain things.

    I notice most people my age really find enjoyment in taking advantage of older guys. There are people out there who genuinely care for older guys and find them attractive (like me) but it's so few and far between it seems. It really sickens me people are like that but I just don't want to see you get taken advantage of.

    Take care icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 12, 2012 1:44 AM GMT
    Bought love/approval is not real, won't last, is a huge waste of your time and resources, and only reinforces negative behavior in the receiver. I know from personal experience.
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    Mar 12, 2012 1:45 AM GMT
    kolkii saidyou got played.
    Yep, you're supposed to get laid, not played. icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 12, 2012 2:21 AM GMT
    I think this is why older guys (even when they're younger) still go for me - I'm a cheap date.
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    Mar 12, 2012 8:12 AM GMT
    conservativejock saidI did it again today. I was with a group today where there were several young guys, mostly in their 20's. We ended up at lunch and then at a mall. One of the young guys saw something he wanted and I bought it for him.

    The smile was awesome. Worth every cent.

    My problem is this has become quit a habit.
    So what did you buy him?
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    Mar 12, 2012 8:15 AM GMT
    Sugar Daddy much.

    I think its cute you wanna give people things that make them happy.
    But dont be a doormat, now its okay to give a kind gesture...but just be wise about it.

    SHower someone with gifts you really care about.
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    Mar 12, 2012 10:28 AM GMT
    Buying gifts for others is a puzzling experience for me. I love to see the pleasure when the gift is exactly what they wanted, but I wonder if the one I'm really trying to please is myself. Is it pure altruism, or fishing for compliments, admiration and obligation?

    If there weren't some kind of strings attached then there wouldn't be any gift tag attached, either, a completely anonymous gift. I remember a 1940s movie about Members of Congress visiting ravaged post-war Berlin. And one Congressman remarks: "When you give a starving man a loaf of bread that's Humanitarianism. When you leave the wrapper on it's Imperialism." In others words, there may be an ulterior motive & agenda when the giver is known.

    In any case I love giving my husband gifts, and no way to make those anonymous. And we both will buy guys drinks, or sometimes dinner if they're with us, which are also a kind of gift. But we're not hitting on them, just the way we were raised, a few drinks and dinner aren't really a "gift" but a social gesture. So again, an area where I remain puzzled about when to gift outside my "family", and even regarding what a gift is.
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    Mar 12, 2012 10:30 AM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA saidShower someone with gifts you really care about.

    When I used to meet someone I cared about I would shower him with a shower. icon_wink.gif

    file-93.jpg

    (Pic purely for illustration purposes, NOT intended to depict me)
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    Mar 12, 2012 1:18 PM GMT
    conservativejock saidI did it again today. I was with a group today where there were several young guys, mostly in their 20's. We ended up at lunch and then at a mall. One of the young guys saw something he wanted and I bought it for him.

    Wow.. that blows "conservative" values right into the toilet! What an enabler!

    Why didnt you make HIM pay for it? Or tell him to go get a JOB and pay for it?
    No wonder our country is going down the toilet.. you just "buy" them whatever they want! "want want want", when does it stop?












    Anyone else see the utter irony here?
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    Mar 12, 2012 2:48 PM GMT
    conservativejock saidI did it again today. I was with a group today where there were several young guys, mostly in their 20's. We ended up at lunch and then at a mall. One of the young guys saw something he wanted and I bought it for him.

    The smile was awesome. Worth every cent.

    My problem is this has become quit a habit.

    kolkii saidyou got played.
    Sounds to me he let himself get played.
  • kolkii

    Posts: 147

    Mar 12, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    Wow.. that blows "conservative" values right into the toilet! What an enabler!

    actually no, on the surface it may seem so...

    ayn rand for example supported her husband financially...when asked if "greed was good," why then was she a hypocrite by "helping" her husband..
    her response was that the financial help to her husband was only secondary to the enjoyment he brings her, due to her "greed" of wanting him around, whether for love sex, or both.. or in OP's case, maybe the allusion of either.

    that said, I still think OP got plaaaayyyyed like a fiddle...



    i see it all the time here in Manhattan.. older gay (some not) bankers w/ young male models..

    the mediocre wealthy (relative for this town, ie your average 250k - 600k/ year professional hopelessly tries and believe there's something for it in the end)...

    buying a couple zegna suits and philippe patek watches only goes so far in this town as ....

    ...the next bracket of wealthy ($2mm+/year hedge fundie or startup/venture capitalist owner) knowwws its all about the fck and usually has endless options, so they don't give the game that much weight, since there's another boy down the line, probly with smarts to match the looks based on sheer volume of 'models' in this town.

    end of the day tho it's OP's money after all so he can do what he wants w it.