Advice for helping a potentially closeted friend?

  • Sfdude808

    Posts: 2

    Mar 12, 2012 9:54 AM GMT
    So here's my problem. I have a friend who's talked to me about how he may think he's gay, the problem is he's really only opening up to me, and even so I'm not really getting much info. I know I should let him find his way, but it's really frustrating to deal with because he only IM's/texts with me about it nearly at all hours of the day and it's hard to get him to stop pestering me throughout the day. I've tried to make it clear to him that he chats me too frequently, but it happens on a daily basis. Also I don't really know him that well its not like we see each other often since he's more of a friend of a friends. I don't want to just ignore him, but at the same time it's become too much of a pain to chat with him. What should I do? icon_sad.gif
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Mar 12, 2012 10:52 AM GMT
    Let him come out in his own time. Don't you assume it upon yourself to play god and decide his reality. You traveled your own path to being gay, allow him the same coutesy to come to terms with his sexuality. I can just tell and feel that you wanan play God's role for your own selfish reasons. Dont' do it. You will reap, eventually, the consequences of such actions and they will be very bad for you.
  • kiwi_nomad

    Posts: 316

    Mar 12, 2012 11:00 AM GMT
    maybe he likes you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2012 11:11 AM GMT
    Sfdude808 saidWhat should I do? icon_sad.gif

    Do you think it's possible you may be the only out gay guy he knows? Maybe he doesn't know anyone else to share this with, even if you are just a friend of a friend. Or perhaps you struck him as level-headed and informed, someone from whom he could get useful answers.

    Give him practical reasons why you can't text all day with him, even your data plan rates. Suggest some resources for him to check on his own. There's a ton in SF, as well as online.

    You could also ask him to confine the discussion to email, though that could have its own drawbacks, especially if he's a prolific writer like me. icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2012 1:25 PM GMT
    Ignore him more. Being gay is about being sexually attracted to the same sex. Being obsessive is about being obsessive/compulsive. Besides, texting is the worst form of communication. If he wants to talk, he should meet up with you and talk.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2012 1:55 PM GMT
    This isn't real.
  • Sfdude808

    Posts: 2

    Mar 12, 2012 4:25 PM GMT
    Thank you for all the responses, aside from Nivek's. I really appreciate the help. I'll try and refer him here and hopefully he works up the courage to make an account, I've tried this for him on a couple other sites, but maybe this would work better since profiles can be anonymous. if anything I guess I just won't respond to him as often, and the email thing might work for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2012 4:39 PM GMT
    He wants to come out, and wants you to be by his side (for support) when he does.
    In other words, he wants to date you.