Are you a product of a long life lived in the closet? Are you involved in any conservative christian groups? Would your friends ever enable you to make bad choices by saying you don't know any better? If so, whatever is in your head is a result of not knowing how to connect with other men in more than a sexual way. If this is the case, the there is a cure. Get with other gay men in the gay community that you fuck, and learn what gay means to them. You may not like everything you hear, but it'll up front honest and will help you deal with whatever demons you've got internalized into you mind.
For me, I'm able to connect with men emotionally, sexual and mentally. I have had short lived relationships with men like you. They identify as gay, but are unable to get passed the sexual aspect of connecting with guys. May have less to do with the nature of homosexuality as a whole, than it does with your own persona.
Nothing of this was meant to be an insult.