Gay Engineers!!!

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    Jul 09, 2008 4:26 AM GMT
    Go suck a dick, fucking nerds!


















    LOL icon_biggrin.gif

    Just wanted to see which of my fellow RJ'ers were also engineers. Just because you spend 99% of your college years studying doesnt mean you cant be a jock, right=)

    So I was just thinking about the future; is it difficult to manage a really active, athletic, gay lifestyle and the demands of many engineering jobs?

    Where did everyone go to school? Good times? Regrets? Any other Hopkins students/alumni? Wooo go Blue Jays icon_lol.gif

    And of course, feel free to share any overly cheesy jokes that engineers are known for

    i.e.
    Two atoms were walking down the street, and one atom turns to the other and says "Oh my god, I think i just lost an electron!" to which the other atom replies "... are you positive?"

    icon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gificon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jul 09, 2008 5:11 AM GMT
    This sounds like the set up for some really cheesy "Jeff Foxworthy" comment...... "cuz I are one!....." (notice the poor spelling and poor sentence structure) LOL!!!

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    Jul 09, 2008 5:15 AM GMT
    Grr, damn blue collar comedy to hell! Lol except Ron White, he's the man icon_lol.gif
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    Jul 09, 2008 5:17 AM GMT
    How many software engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None - that's a hardware problem.

    How many software engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None - we'll just have them fix it in software.

    (Actually, I once worked in a government lab building that was dark for fourteen months, because there was no approved process for changing or disposing of the light bulbs.)

    ((BTW: not an engineer))
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    Jul 09, 2008 5:22 AM GMT
    I wasn't out in school (Michigan), for better and worse. Probably would have been a distraction, yet would also have given me some peace of mind back when I knew I was gay and yet clueless.

    As for managing a demanding job and an active gay life... we have time for what we make time.

    (If only I spent less time on RJ... I'd have more time to workout... (: )
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    Jul 09, 2008 5:24 AM GMT
    They were leading a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They asked the priest if he wanted to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest said that he would like to face up so that he will be looking toward heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine, release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his throat. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.

    Next the drunkard comes to the guillotine. He also decides to die face up hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine, release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his throat. So they release the drunkard as well.

    The engineer is next. He too, decides to die facing up. They slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, when suddenly the engineer says, "Hey, I think the problem is that the cable is binding right here.... "
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    Jul 09, 2008 5:26 AM GMT
    So after his death the engineer reported to the pearly gates. An intern angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you're an engineer; you're in the wrong place."

    So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.

    One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

    Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

    God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

    Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

    God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I'll sue."

    Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
  • metalxracr

    Posts: 761

    Jul 09, 2008 5:57 AM GMT
    I was going to do Mechanical engineering, infact I had one semester of it and I completely changed my career path. I am a sound engineer, but completely different still.

    I miss it a lot, but it's not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wish it could be a hobby or something, but that just doesnt happen! icon_sad.gif lol


    I Love math/science to no end. People carry around their electronics.. Cellphones and Ipods...

    I carry around my TI-83 Silver Edition and TI-89 Titanium. Okay, not so much anymore, but I used to all the time. haha
  • groundcombat

    Posts: 945

    Jul 09, 2008 6:14 AM GMT
    Mech Eng
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    Jul 09, 2008 6:15 AM GMT
    I will amend this ...

    mickeytopogigio saidGod was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I'll sue."

    Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
    Besides POSSESSION is nine tenths of the law ..
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    Jul 09, 2008 7:17 AM GMT
    Bill Engvall! Ever see his San Francisco Boy Scouts music video? icon_lol.gif Ron's a round drunk with a broken shtick up his ass!
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    Jul 09, 2008 7:26 AM GMT
    4th year Computer Science at UCLA here!

    go bruins!

    who said enginerds dont have fun?!!? lol

    Why do computer scientists confuse Halloween with Christmas?

    Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

    LoL!

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    Jul 09, 2008 7:28 AM GMT
    Im an electronics and computer engineering major, Im also a fraternity guy (yes i party like theres no tomorrow), a nerd (obviosly :lolicon_smile.gif, and jock in the sence that i like working out and am in great shape. I honestly dont think it would b hard to continue to balance everything. ive done a good job so far, only diffirence will b is that i will be working instead of going to school.

    Maybe i should be picking on and bullying myself LMAO.

    Anyway here's a very very cheesy joke yet a favorite of mine.

    "There are 10 kind's of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't."
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    Jul 09, 2008 7:41 AM GMT
    rawOOL saidWhy do computer scientists confuse Halloween with Christmas?

    Because DEC 25 = OCT 31


    Uh oh. I understood that joke.

    Even worse. I laughed.

    I confess I own a few CS degrees. There. I'm outed.



    Here's my engineer joke entry:

    A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

    Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

    Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!

    Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.

    Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?

    George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge!

    (silence)

    Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

    Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.

    Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
  • atxclimber

    Posts: 480

    Jul 09, 2008 7:48 AM GMT
    Comp Sci here! Software engineer. Although a friend of mine pointed out that "software engineer" is a bit of a misnomer, certainly in the games industry and, from what I know, elsewhere, too. Real engineers, he said, build things like bridges, and understand exactly how things will fit together, what the qualities of their building materials are, can prove that their designs will withstand the conditions they need to, etc.

    By comparison, all "software engineering" is like the digital equivalent of a rickety shantytown built from corrugated tin roofs and walls of discarded cigarette cartons.

    The jokes are pretty great, thanks for those, I LOLd.
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    Jul 09, 2008 8:06 AM GMT
    Psych engineer student here, but weither that means I'm a real engineer or not is up for debate.
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    Jul 09, 2008 9:06 AM GMT
    I'm going to go in for the gay architect team...

    We're not all wanky designer poofs that wear black and drink wine....

    ;)
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    Jul 09, 2008 9:26 AM GMT
    Systems Engineer.

    Old Joke:

    Three engineers were at WORLDCOMP. During a break in a seminar they each took the opportunity to visit the mens room. All three were standing at the urinals.

    The first engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. Turning to the other two engineers, he said, "At Hewlett Packard, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

    The second engineer finished his task at the urinal and proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, "At Lockheed-Martin, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

    The third engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At IBM we don't piss on our hands."


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    Jul 09, 2008 10:15 AM GMT
    Mickeytopogigio, IguanaSF, and ITJock,

    Thanks for the great start to my day. I know the overused term "LOL" doesn't mean much, but I actually did laugh out loud when reading your jokes. My doggies gave me funny looks.

    My son went to MIT and graduated as an engineer. At the graduation ceremony, one of the speakers was the head of the graduate students' organization. He was speaking of the fondness every alumnus retains for MIT "no matter how many years you've been here, whether it's 'n' or 'n+1' or 'n to the power of e'"...

    ...and the crowd of uber-geeks laughed so hard they peed themselves while the rest of us just scratched our heads.

    Love me some engineers.
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    Jul 09, 2008 10:24 AM GMT
    Geotechnical for 22 years. Could have done a lot more if hiding the sexuality hadn't been part of the mix then. All the wasted time and effort that didn't really matter.
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    Jul 09, 2008 11:41 AM GMT
    rawOOL said

    Why do computer scientists confuse Halloween with Christmas?

    Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

    LoL!



    Eh eh eh

    Programming here, though I don't care much for it and I hate hardware, I prefer to stick to 3d modeling.
  • Csrobbie2000

    Posts: 359

    Jul 09, 2008 1:45 PM GMT
    Software Engineer

    Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
    A: Their personalities.

    The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

    To the optimist, the glass is half full.
    To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
    To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
  • klinci3

    Posts: 60

    Jul 09, 2008 2:02 PM GMT
    biochemical engineer

    although thats totally different from mechanical engineers we do take a bunch of the same classes
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    Jul 09, 2008 2:15 PM GMT
    "Real engineers, he said, build things like bridges, and understand exactly how things will fit together, what the qualities of their building materials are, can prove that their designs will withstand the conditions they need to, etc."


    My dad was an electrical engineer by trade, but he had a knack for designing in the mechanical realm as well. Below is a video of the wheelchair lift he designed and had made for his convertible. The only mistake he made was undersizing the main shaft that the lift arms are connected to; on the first test, the 2" diameter, solid steel shaft twisted in two, so they upgraded to 2.5"

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    Jul 09, 2008 2:21 PM GMT
    As an architect, I work with engineers every day. One thing amazes me about engineers: why is it that the vast majority of engineers have no fashion sense?!?!

    I mean, c'mon, lose the short sleeve, necktie, pocket protector look please!