When is a joke not a joke?

  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Mar 13, 2012 10:37 PM GMT
    I battled back and forth about whether or not I wanted to make this topic, but after reading more today about the Tyler Clementi trial, I decided to.

    What I wanna know is, when are we gonna realize that what we say and do that we think is funny, really isn't funny at all? Last night I created a topic about working out, and after a few responses someone replied I should try "hanging from a rope" and then said to make sure the rope is "tied around my neck"

    Naturally I was completely appalled by this, especially since it wasn't even provoked. When I said something about how disgusting his comment was, all he said was to lighten up, "it's just a joke"

    I'm sorry, but that's just not funny. For all he knows, I'm suicidal, or lost a loved one to suicide.

    Anyway, I'm in no way saying that this compares to the Tyler Clementi tragedy, but his roommate decided to video him as a joke and look how that ended up.

    I know I'm rambling, but this honestly has been making my skin crawl for the last 24 hours, and I just wanted to know what you all think about this. Are we really at a point in life where we feel like we can just say whatever the hell we want and end it with "just kidding!"?
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Mar 13, 2012 10:56 PM GMT
    I could provide a link, but then I would be literally telling the site who said it. If he wants to come forward and admit it on this forum, thats fine.

    How it went down was this. I posted a topic about which would be best to use for cardio. 4 or 5 guys commented on machines they would use, and then he responded about hanging myself. Thats it. completely out of nowhere. I called him out on it, he told me it was a joke, and didn't even apologize for the fact that it clearly offended me.
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    Mar 13, 2012 10:58 PM GMT
    basically, if you have to tell someone that it was a joke then it wasn´t.

  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Mar 13, 2012 11:01 PM GMT
    GonzoTheGreat saidbasically, if you have to tell someone that it was a joke then it wasn´t.



    Agreed, but a suicide joke? That's a disgusting human being.
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    Mar 13, 2012 11:03 PM GMT


    The topic was easy to find.
    Just disregard the comment, HP. He was trolling and trying to press your buttons.

    You'll find a few that do that on here, for the lulz, as they put it.

    At least one other person called him out on it.


    warmly,

    -Doug
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Mar 13, 2012 11:05 PM GMT
    wahhhhhh Keep Crying.... that random has a sence of dark humor...It is what it is
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    Mar 13, 2012 11:17 PM GMT
    amoonhawk said, " unfortunately, written words lack the ability to really carry across a persons personality"

    I tend to be a little less charitable, because anyone can make an effort to be understood. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
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    Mar 13, 2012 11:21 PM GMT
    General rule of thumb, anything anyone ever says on a message board where you willingly participate shouldn't ever be anything that ever incites you. Having a skin tough enough to ignore dumb shit on a message board is an absolute MUST. It's not comparable to having your privacy severely breeched with repeated actions blatantly meant to humiliate and abuse you as in Clementi's case.
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Mar 13, 2012 11:31 PM GMT
    Ariodante, I made it clear to say that I wasn't comparing my sitch to Clementi
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    Mar 13, 2012 11:36 PM GMT
    HPgeek934 saidAriodante, I made it clear to say that I wasn't comparing my sitch to Clementi


    Such is the folly of the opening post, all points mentioned are free to be inferred within each other.
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    Mar 13, 2012 11:46 PM GMT
    Hi HpGeek

    I really do understand where you are coming, from but at the same time, the world uses humor and laughter to get out of stressful situations/make them better.
    Hence why most comedy routines tend to be based on topics that are otherwise serious in nature. The economy, slavery, sex, drugs, politics etc.

    Even simple jokes such as yo momma

    My mom is dead, so if someone said that to me, I wouldnt be pissed. I was when it first happened, but I am not now, because sometiems a joke is just that..a joke.

    To always take every feeling and emotion into account of everything ever said would be to never say anything for fear it may offend.
    No one would ever talk about race, politics, social norms, sexual orientation and everything else.

    There are such things as tasteless jokes, but since most of us do not know each other, nor our struggles or life issues and what makes us tick. It would be damn near impossible to not offend anyone reguardless of the nature of the joke.


    "What do you call a gay person who likes Ice cream"
    "A Dairy Queen"

    I made that joke up myself, others may have 2...its very simple to think of, but another gay guy who is more masc may find it rude and offensive.
    There are certain things I would never joke about...such as suicide because of personal reasons, but everyone doesnt feel the same way.

    Sorry I am longwinded but point is.
    We don't find jokes offensive to tell unless we ourselves are offended by them. Since everyone isnt the same...neither will the ideas be of what is appropriate and what is not.
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Mar 13, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    Jamie, I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my topic, and I agree to a point. The point I'm making is for me to say, "Hey, should I used a treadmill or a stationary bike?" The answer shouldn't be "hang yourself"
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    Mar 14, 2012 12:15 AM GMT
    Hi again

    Doug was nice enough to show me the topic where it was posted. SO i could see the whole issue.

    I don't think it was funny, but I don't think it was that big a deal either.
    I had posted a topic a day or two ago about Outing Gays, and went into detail, while some guys felt it was needed to focus more on my grammer than the topic at hand.

    I see where you are coming from, but I wonder this

    Why do people come to topics, read them just to post insignificant information/useless post.

    I find the fact that he came to your topic and added an uneeded input more lame than the actual joke.

    As for the seriousness of the joke...I already went into that.

    I notice though that no matter where you go, whether it is here or Yahoo answers or anywhere else, people come and read just to post things that either are stupid/empathetic or just plain useless.
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    Mar 14, 2012 12:23 AM GMT
    HPgeek934 saidI battled back and forth about whether or not I wanted to make this topic, but after reading more today about the Tyler Clementi trial, I decided to.

    What I wanna know is, when are we gonna realize that what we say and do that we think is funny, really isn't funny at all? Last night I created a topic about working out, and after a few responses someone replied I should try "hanging from a rope" and then said to make sure the rope is "tied around my neck"

    Naturally I was completely appalled by this, especially since it wasn't even provoked. When I said something about how disgusting his comment was, all he said was to lighten up, "it's just a joke"

    I'm sorry, but that's just not funny. For all he knows, I'm suicidal, or lost a loved one to suicide.

    Anyway, I'm in no way saying that this compares to the Tyler Clementi tragedy, but his roommate decided to video him as a joke and look how that ended up.

    I know I'm rambling, but this honestly has been making my skin crawl for the last 24 hours, and I just wanted to know what you all think about this. Are we really at a point in life where we feel like we can just say whatever the hell we want and end it with "just kidding!"?



    the guy who told you to hang from a rope was an asshole,and it's not even funny,unfortunately there will always be assholes that we have to deal with who care about know one but themselves....
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    Mar 14, 2012 12:34 AM GMT
    If its on the Internet and you find it offensive, turn off the Internet and go do something else.
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    Mar 14, 2012 12:34 AM GMT
    HPgeek934 saidLast night I created a topic about working out, and after a few responses someone replied I should try "hanging from a rope" and then said to make sure the rope is "tied around my neck" ... I'm sorry, but that's just not funny. For all he knows, I'm suicidal, or lost a loved one to suicide.

    There is a difference between gallows humor from someone who is experiencing tragedy first or second hand and is referencing his own circumstances as a coping mechanism, and those who blindly use it towards others without considering the experiences of others. Unfortunately some people who are funny or think they're funny don't get how with some people they cross a line. That's why comedians road test material in lesser venues, and perhaps RJ is his lesser venue. As for answering your question "When is a joke not a joke?" jokes are still jokes, even when they're tasteless or unappreciated.
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    Mar 14, 2012 12:37 AM GMT
    Yeah, I read it, too. I guess it is what we put up with in the name of "free speech."

    No. It was wrong and it was not funny.

    icon_confused.gif

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    Mar 14, 2012 12:44 AM GMT
    I saw that guy's post about "hanging from a rope". I also thought it was completely inappropriate, however, I've read some of his previous forum posts and he usually writes nothing worthy reading, so if I were you, I wouldn't even dignify his comment with a response.
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    Mar 14, 2012 2:07 AM GMT
    I just read every posting to this forum topic.



    I'm going to hang myself now.



    I agree with the RJer who said just ignore such posts. The cyber world is full of unhappy souls just like in real life. These people live to push buttons or spread their misery. The nice thing about real life is you can make an effort to avoid such people. The problem with cyber life is that when you put yourself out there you have to put up with this sort of behavior (or block them, which I have done on occassion).
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    Mar 14, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    Hurt people hurt people. The angrier the guy, the more bruised he is... book it.
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    Mar 14, 2012 2:14 AM GMT
    I agree with the OP.

    Some comments are just inappropriate - even in an online forum.

    I know that people will still make them, but I do think that in light of all the suicides going on in the gay community - suggesting people should off themselves is just not OK to me.

    I understand having a thick skin and I have also been exercising my right to ignore certain people. I do think that perhaps the OP should do the same to the one who commented that he should hang himself. I am sorry that someone said that to you.
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    Mar 14, 2012 2:22 AM GMT
    1) It's on the internet. Everything on the internet is automatically less serious.

    2) If you watch any comedian, jokes scale towards funnier based on if they're saying something horrible about someone or something. Humor is an evolutionary defense mechanism to horrible situations... that's why heinous jokes are the funniest.
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    Mar 14, 2012 2:23 AM GMT
    Larkin said1) It's on the internet. Everything on the internet is automatically less serious.

    2) If you watch any comedian, jokes scale towards funnier based on if they're saying something horrible about someone or something. Humor is an evolutionary defense mechanism to horrible situations... that's why heinous jokes are the funniest.


    Or thats what people like you and me keep on saying so we dont feel like monsters.
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    Mar 14, 2012 2:34 AM GMT
    Larkin said1) It's on the internet. Everything on the internet is automatically less serious.

    2) If you watch any comedian, jokes scale towards funnier based on if they're saying something horrible about someone or something. Humor is an evolutionary defense mechanism to horrible situations... that's why heinous jokes are the funniest.


    But there are comedians who have gotten into trouble when their angry rants crossed a line. - Remember Kramer from Seinfeld...

    Edit: Or another example - after 9/11 - SNL - asked if it was OK to make people laugh again. Notice they didn't make jokes at the expense of the firefighters that lost their lives. That would have crossed a line.

    I sort of feel like all the suicides in the news creates a situation where it might just not be funny to joke about at this moment in time.

    We all have different senses of humor and we all have our hot buttons that we don't want pushed. I would dare say that there would be a topic that the person who commented that the OP should hang himself would have such a topic that if he were pushed on would become defensive and simply think the joke not funny. That's where like someone above said - we have to learn to look past each others' faults.


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    Mar 14, 2012 2:40 AM GMT
    Brownale saidHurt people hurt people. The angrier the guy, the more bruised he is... book it.


    A majority of the most famous and successful of them all are the nastiest mother fuckers..........icon_lol.gif