Hopelessly in love (?) with one of my best-est straight friends

  • jasons83

    Posts: 5

    Mar 14, 2012 5:33 AM GMT
    So I've had limited experiences with relationships, have only been in 3 or 4 long term with women. Recently have been exploring guys but even that I still have not capitalized on. My friends circle is 100% straight, and thats just how its been and currently is. Naturally, ive been hanging out with a friend recently, and I realized I am developing weird qualities like jealousy, anxiety and frustration. Even over dumb shit like if he wants to play fifa with his roomate rather then go to a pub. I think im in love with this guy. And yeah, hes straight, but a sincere, honest, humble and honestly, awesome human being. He knows we are good friends and he appreciates me as a friend, which is awesom. I just think it sucks that seeing him brightens up my day or when hes busy legitimately I feel shafted and go insane.
    I dont know what im ranting about, but it sucks!
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    Mar 14, 2012 3:02 PM GMT
    quick, find a new obsession fast because if he really is straight...then it's just not going to happen. Easier said than done...but good luck,
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    Mar 14, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    If he's straight, it's doomed to be unrequited love, something with which I have much experience....icon_redface.gif
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    Mar 14, 2012 5:28 PM GMT
    I know how you feel. Been there myself. Its best to remain friends and leave it as that with no other expectation or else you're be messing with your head. Try to find someone else and move on. It's easier said than done but it will be healthier for you in the long run.
  • metta

    Posts: 38625

    Mar 14, 2012 5:31 PM GMT
    To love someone is to unselfishly want what is best for them. Obviously, if the person is straight, it is not going to be a relationship with another man. What you are doing is just self destructive behavior.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Mar 14, 2012 5:42 PM GMT
    Leave it alone, and start finding some gay guys to hang out with, and maybe than you will meet someone who you will have the same feelings for and they can be returned.
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    Mar 14, 2012 6:17 PM GMT
    I was in that shoes, so close yet so far icon_sad.gif , If only I could say to him "be with me forever" cause he was highly in chemistry & effected me as he like sticking to me. Sadly I found out he pregnant a girl(bitch) so early that he had to stick to her where he cant run but to marry her. And I went crashing down like plane! ~ lucky enough we part ways after college.

    That for you is my lesson No.1 of 101, so be cautious on your move! don't end up like sinking Titanic or Hiroshima,its just waste of time.
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    Mar 14, 2012 7:54 PM GMT
    Know the feeling and best advice i can give is to remove yourself from the situation, coz its only going to get worse if you go on, you'll find more little things about the guy that wil make you fall harder. So get out lock that door and throw away the key coz you'll never get to turn him gay lokl yes i have try that only coz i was little bit looney back then hahahahehehd yip
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    Mar 14, 2012 7:56 PM GMT
    OP you need to snap out of it before it ruins your life. Forget about him and things will get better
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    Mar 14, 2012 7:58 PM GMT
    That poor guy. Yuk just the thought of a women drooling over me makes my guts turn, thus I can understand a straight guy feeling the same about a gay boy crushing on him.
  • jasons83

    Posts: 5

    Mar 17, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    I cant do this,
    I seriously cant lol

    Its the weirdest feeling in the world. You can be in a crowd full of drunk people but just want to talk to him. Its a bad night if you dont get enough time, and a great night if you do.

    What is a brotha to doo
  • Kairr

    Posts: 239

    Mar 18, 2012 2:26 AM GMT
    I know it's hard but the best time is start backing off as soon as possible.

    It happened to me, too. And it bothers me even now.

    It's only gets harder and harder for you to stay away from him. The more you know about him, the more things happened between you and him, the harder.

    I've set it up for myself to fall in. I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere but it felt a lot better to find non-existant 'hope' during the time when I was sank in my desperation. I knew I was going to fall hard and get hurt. It was too late for me to back off with my own strength. The bond between us was too strong. I was constantly hurt by his actions. It was like If I were sucked my a magnet behind spikes.

    kill your feelings, now. before it grows strong enough to control you, drive you toward an indestructible wall and hurt you.
  • jasons83

    Posts: 5

    Mar 21, 2012 1:36 AM GMT
    I am lost

    i am anxcious, nervous, anxcious

    therea s group of us, i cant handle when people steal his attention. and usually that happens and i cant command myself in a group. i become awkward and need to leave.

    waht the hell

    people share some stories?
  • tnlifter

    Posts: 76

    Mar 21, 2012 2:03 AM GMT
    Man, I feel for you, because I am there with you. The advice above is good, find something/someone else and get away. You know its not going to happen. But I'm not sure it is possible to just up and turn love off. it certainly hasn't been for me. My crush is cute, funny, sweet,and looks awesome without a shirt. But he is straight. Every time we talk, I just so want it to be more. I've realized that this is my feeling only, nothing more. If I don't want to lose a great friendship, I just have to check my feelings at the door. If you can't keep your feelings at bay, then you need to distance yourself from him. Someone else said its self-destructive. It is, but only if you let it be.