Y'all would be proud of me

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2012 8:59 PM GMT

    As some of you know, I don't work out, and have my body image issues. I haven't gotten naked in front of someone since I was a kid, and wouldn't be caught dead with my shirt off. As such, I haven't gone swimming in 15 years.

    Our building has a swimming pool indoors, but it's only open in the daytime, so I would never be able to use it without others seeing me near-naked, so I never considered it a possibility.

    A couple of nights ago, I went to put stuff in storage at 4am (to avoid the humans), and I noticed that the games room wasn't locked. I went to the pool and found it wasn't locked either! So I hummed and hawed over it a few minutes, then decided I'd grab my towel and trunks and see if I could try it.

    Since everyone knows the pool should be locked at night, there was little chance anyone would even try but I would be devastated if someone saw me. But I got changed, had a quick shower, and got myself into that big, open pool room feeling all naked, though with trunks). It felt a lot like dreams where you're nude in public but you just keep doing stuff.

    Took me like 8 minutes to get fully into the cold pool but eventually I did, teeth chattering and jumping around in discomfort. Spent 30 minutes doing sommersaults under water and trying to remember how to swim. Fuck did it exhaust me. I managed a lap of the pool on 2 occasions, played around, made up my own swim, remembered what it was like to be in water.

    I reckon it will be the last time in my life I swim, so when I got it all out of my system, I got out, rinsed and started to get dressed. Hear a loud BANG, nearly shat my pants, ran into the bathroom for cover, I guess it was nothing. After I got dressed I went to the exercise machines and did exactly one butterfly press.

    Back in my apartment... flopped into bed from exhaustion.

    There. I exercised. Be happy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2012 10:49 PM GMT
    Normally people exercise before they post, especially before reaching 2K...just saying.
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    Mar 15, 2012 11:14 PM GMT
    Dude: In terms of opening yourself up a little bit, it's good, so to speak, that you stuck your toe in the water.

    But it's too bad that you're afraid to show off your body. That's one of the fun things about being a guy. icon_biggrin.gif

    It was sad to read that your sojourn was likely "the last time" in your life that you swim.

    And it sounds like there's more to it than that -- since you also say you were down there at 4 am to "avoid the humans."

    Do you think maybe if you started working out a bit you might develop more confidence?

    If you don't want to hit the gym and work out in front of others -- work out at home. Get a set of weights. Or order a set of "Perfect Pushups" -- two small cylinder-things that you rotate as you do the pushup. It will build you up very fast. You can order them on-line or get them at big box stores, and they're dirt cheap.

    I offer this advice in a friendly and constructive way. My best icon_biggrin.gif

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    Mar 15, 2012 11:32 PM GMT
    LittleDudeWithMuscles saidDude: In terms of opening yourself up a little bit, it's good, so to speak, that you stuck your toe in the water.

    But it's too bad that you're afraid to show off your body. That's one of the fun things about being a guy. icon_biggrin.gif

    It was sad to read that your sojourn was likely "the last time" in your life that you swim.

    And it sounds like there's more to it than that -- since you also say you were down there at 4 am to "avoid the humans."

    Do you think maybe if you started working out a bit you might develop more confidence?

    If you don't want to hit the gym and work out in front of others -- work out at home. Get a set of weights. Or order a set of "Perfect Pushups" -- two small cylinder-things that you rotate as you do the pushup. It will build you up very fast. You can order them on-line or get them at big box stores, and they're dirt cheap.

    I offer this advice in a friendly and constructive way. My best icon_biggrin.gif


    19c34f21-4e8e-471f-95b6-bebfc8a63de4.jpg

    Let's not get carried away now! It would take a lot more than exercise to make me be naked in public. That's as they say "changing the external to treat the internal problem". I appreciate the suggestion though and the thought. On my list of things to get done, exercise is way down at the bottom, and I would need more of a lot of things to get that far down on that list.

    I got to swim once in 15 years when I didn't think I'd ever get to again, and it happened to count as exercise, so I'm happy with that.
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    Mar 15, 2012 11:40 PM GMT
    Congratulations!!!

    I am in a similar situation - except I was the uber-fat guy. I am hoping to take swimming lessons this summer because I used to operate under the philosophy that beached whales should stay beached and keep covered.

    So, I never learned to swim.

    I am still too self conscious to take my shirt off, too - but my big step has been to wear sleeveless shirts to the gym lately. That may sound completely ridiculous, but that is an enormous leap for me. I am not even self-conscious anymore. Absolutely no one has looked at me in horror that I know of yet.

    There's not a pool in my gym, so I'm safe there for now. lol

    My next step is the dreaded tank top/wife beater look - followed by the cut up muscle shirt that is completely open on both sides - which is essentially not even a shirt anymore - but the bare minimum they can get away with in the gym to say - I am wearing a shirt... lol


    Now that you've taken this leap, it's a new world. What's next???
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    Mar 15, 2012 11:52 PM GMT
    Thanks, onaquest.

    No, it's not ridiculous sounding to me about sleeveless shirts. I don't own, won't own, won't wear them. I go for clothes that cover as much as looks normal. Summers are crappy tho.

    The next step is the top of my To Do list. Then the thing below it.. although as I cross things off it seems like it never gets any shorter.
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    Mar 15, 2012 11:54 PM GMT
    3obyiy.jpg
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Mar 16, 2012 4:22 AM GMT
    Congrats man....If you'd ask most guys on here...they'd probably tell ya there were things about their body they don't like or want to improve on...Continue to branch out man..one day at a time...All the best.
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    Mar 16, 2012 5:13 AM GMT
    Good for you skinny.

    Small steps and all that.
    I went through a period of panic attacks a couple of years ago and couldnt bare to leave the house, different I know to your situation, but none the less I couldnt deal with other humans for a while.
    Any step forward is progress.

    I would like to see you thinking of new ways you can do this sort of thing again where no one can see you. Hmm?

    3 steps forward and 2 steps back is still 1 step ahead.icon_biggrin.gif