Guys who only talk to you when they need something

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  Mar 15, 2012 10:12 PM GMT

  I went through this situation my freshman year of college (last year) where I tried so hard to get this particular dude's attention. He was attractive, masculine, popular on campus, and openly gay. We had a class together and he would never speak to me unless he missed one day and needed to see the notes. This one day in particular I saw him sitting on the bench by himself, so I tried to engage in conversation. He completely blew me off and started texting on his phone like he was not interested in talking to me. It pissed me off because I would always let this dude copy my notes and see my assignments but other then that, he didn't wanna have anything to do with me. I ran into him today at the cafe and haven't seen him since that fall semester. I waved at him but he acted like he didn't see me.
  
  Have you ever dealt with someone this fake?
  
  

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  Mar 15, 2012 11:10 PM GMT

  In time, you'll learn to disengage as soon as you see he has no interest in you. Then you'd never feel like you were taken advantage of because you wouldn't have given him your notes.

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• mizu5
  
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  Mar 15, 2012 11:16 PM GMT

  ahah I had the same thing. firt year
  
  he was this hottie "mascsbro" (hiswords not mine) and like uber popular nd eeeveryone lvoed him, liiife of the party. slept with all the random straight boys, was openly gay. only talke dot me when he needed something.
  
  got sick of it.
  
  came up to me once at the end of the year, i was leaving the enxt morning. He'd been a total ass to me, spread shit.
  
  So he came up and asked if he could "steal a few shots of rum" so yeah i took two, and sprayed them in his face. Not my porudest moment, but end of first year aprty. Aparently 151 is known to sting ones eyes. who would have thought.

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  Apr 19, 2012 3:40 PM GMT

  I have dealt with lots of horrible people like this. I just hate em. They are the same.

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  Apr 19, 2012 3:46 PM GMT

  Hey, has anybody got $25 I can borrow?
  
  (OP: some good advice in this thread.)

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  Apr 19, 2012 4:04 PM GMT

  its called a fairweather friend. i Hate people like that.
  The moment i realize someone is using me, even if i feel they otherwise respect me, i drop them like a lead balloon. I do not have time for people like that.

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  Apr 19, 2012 4:06 PM GMT

  Phoenyx saidits called a fairweather friend. i Hate people like that.
  The moment i realize someone is using me, even if i feel they otherwise respect me, i drop them like a lead balloon. I do not have time for people like that.

  
  
  Good. They deserve it.

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  Apr 19, 2012 4:08 PM GMT

  Boland92 said
  
  Have you ever dealt with someone this fake?

  
  
  I've met them, yes. Typically don't deal with them, because they are quickly cut out of my life.

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• NerdLifter
  
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  Apr 19, 2012 4:14 PM GMT

  Boland92 saidHave you ever dealt with someone this fake?

  
  Personally? Nope. I know of only two other gay males in my entire engineering school. But nearly all engineering students help each other out, cause we are all collectively suffering 24/7, we have to survive as a pack or not at all.

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• davidsticky69
  
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  Apr 19, 2012 4:15 PM GMT

  
  
  Q: How to respond The opportunist?
  
  A: Make a casual fart and move along

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  Apr 19, 2012 4:20 PM GMT

  I've never personally had to deal with anyone like that. But if someone has been ignoring me in the first place, I'll be very suspicious if he did suddenly showed me attention. "You went interested in knowing me then, so why now? whats changed?" goes through my mind. I keep the "relationship" staus quo.

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• metta
  
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  Apr 19, 2012 4:22 PM GMT

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  Apr 19, 2012 4:26 PM GMT

  now u know how it feeeels bro! lmao cuz i sent u a msg n was flat out ignored. OUCH! lol

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  Apr 19, 2012 4:50 PM GMT

  I honestly hate this kind of creatures!
  
  All I will do is..
  
  THEM!!
  
  and then ill sing "I love you like a love song babey!"

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  Apr 19, 2012 5:00 PM GMT

  har19 saidI honestly hate this kind of creatures!
  
  All I will do is..
  
  THEM!!
  
  and then ill sing "I love you like a love song babey!"

  
  
  yeah, good approach.

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  Apr 19, 2012 5:06 PM GMT

  To be very honest I am that type of person who will only talk to you when I need something, I figure aslong as you're thankful and kind to them then the person will obviously help you with something, and i'll do the same for them back. I can be very independant sometimes but I know better than to blow someone off who is just wanting to have a conversation with me. If I ask to borrow something then I give it back after im done with it, if I need money then i make sure to pay them back.
  
  I've yet to encounter somebody who will act like the person is described in the first post. But I wouldn't easily let them have what they want

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• mybud
  
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  Apr 19, 2012 5:34 PM GMT

  Boland92 saidI went through this situation my freshman year of college (last year) where I tried so hard to get this particular dude's attention. He was attractive, masculine, popular on campus, and openly gay. We had a class together and he would never speak to me unless he missed one day and needed to see the notes. This one day in particular I saw him sitting on the bench by himself, so I tried to engage in conversation. He completely blew me off and started texting on his phone like he was not interested in talking to me. It pissed me off because I would always let this dude copy my notes and see my assignments but other then that, he didn't wanna have anything to do with me. I ran into him today at the cafe and haven't seen him since that fall semester. I waved at him but he acted like he didn't see me.
  
  Have you ever dealt with someone this fake?
  
  

  So you met up with a self absorbed gay guy......that's a shocker....

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  Apr 19, 2012 5:36 PM GMT

  metta8 said

  
  This*^ pleases my inner Madea. Good Post!

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• Alexhillo
  
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  Apr 19, 2012 5:57 PM GMT

  Ok, guys, not a big deal, we do favors and those favors shouldn't cost anything, don't feel bad couse this guy coy your notes, we are not suppose to think that we can make everyone feel interested for us, now there is no reason to feel bad since who ever is that person never show interest for us or you since the begining, ok, the guy is fake probably, but you need to see first if you had a reason to make him feel interested to you, remember that you could be that one needing to copy those notes, and you don't need to flirt someone to get those notes, probably you got confused, the thing is, is awfull that you helped somebody and they pretend no0t to know you ,is bad, but get over it, and think that is not good to be your friend, so next time you decide with whom to deal with, and that guy won't be the case, other than that there is nothing else to do

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• JDean
  
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  Apr 19, 2012 6:01 PM GMT

  SkinnyBitch saidIn time, you'll learn to disengage as soon as you see he has no interest in you. Then you'd never feel like you were taken advantage of because you wouldn't have given him your notes.

  
  
  this kind of silly I think. So he relied on you for notes but took no interest in you. You act like he owed you something. They're notes and he trusted you enough to use your notes. What did you expect? to fall in love, be best friends, make babies? Is it so wrong to act selflessly occasionally or does everything have to have a reward?

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  Apr 19, 2012 6:30 PM GMT

  I think it's very strange that I never ever have anybody dislike or ignore me.. ever.. but when they are gay and think that I am there only for putting moves on them, or want to play games to moves on me perhaps, I dunno, then all of a sudden they start playing ignore with me...
  
  Not everybody in the world is nice to somebody to get into their pants.. some people are actually, GENUINELY nice... get over yourself, is what I think in the back of my head then

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  Apr 19, 2012 6:33 PM GMT

  
  Who is this Madea character?
  
  She certainly knows what s/he's talking about!
  
  Don't validate these people with your time and efforts...

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  Apr 19, 2012 6:37 PM GMT

  Jd22639 said

  SkinnyBitch saidIn time, you'll learn to disengage as soon as you see he has no interest in you. Then you'd never feel like you were taken advantage of because you wouldn't have given him your notes.

  
  
  this kind of silly I think. So he relied on you for notes but took no interest in you. You act like he owed you something. They're notes and he trusted you enough to use your notes. What did you expect? to fall in love, be best friends, make babies? Is it so wrong to act selflessly occasionally or does everything have to have a reward?

  Actually I think the guy did at least "owe" the OP the common courtesy of acknowledging his presence instead of blowing him off. The OP was under no obligation to offer his notes from class for sure, but while the OP was interested in this guy I don't sense that he was asking for a ring in doing so.

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• brain5brawn
  
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  Apr 19, 2012 6:39 PM GMT

  The issue is that we end up hanging out with gay people who if sexuality was taken out of the picture we'd never even talk to. Most people are stupid/boring/generally not someone you'd be friends with (with each person's standards of this being altered and changed based on their own specific situation.
  
  But we're gay...so we run into people we'd consider idiots at the concentrated messes known as gay bars, online chat-rooms, clist, etc.
  
  The options are:
  
  - put up with it and slowly learn how to avoid the idiots in the crowd
  - stop socializing with gay people, but have your chances of meeting someone great reduced because you're not out there
  - find some lesbian, get married, and run for president?....

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  Apr 19, 2012 7:11 PM GMT

  Tenebrism said

  Jd22639 said

  SkinnyBitch saidIn time, you'll learn to disengage as soon as you see he has no interest in you. Then you'd never feel like you were taken advantage of because you wouldn't have given him your notes.

  
  
  this kind of silly I think. So he relied on you for notes but took no interest in you. You act like he owed you something. They're notes and he trusted you enough to use your notes. What did you expect? to fall in love, be best friends, make babies? Is it so wrong to act selflessly occasionally or does everything have to have a reward?

  Actually I think the guy did at least "owe" the OP the common courtesy of acknowledging his presence instead of blowing him off. The OP was under no obligation to offer his notes from class for sure, but while the OP was interested in this guy I don't sense that he was asking for a ring in doing so.

  This ^^
  
  The OP gave him his notes when he could have very well said 'no'. But the other guy didn't have the common courtesy to be nice to in return to someone who was nice to him by acknowledging his presence and having a decent conversation.

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