Married Guys Complaint

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    Jul 09, 2008 7:03 PM GMT
    This is dumb. I will regret it.

    My partner and I are going on 10 years. We aren't married, at least not legally, but in every other way yes.

    We should have left for our summer vacation this morning, and it is now 2059 hours. This is really typical.

    Now I am sitting in the kitchen (which is hot) with our doggies, and waiting to leave. While waiting I had a little wine, a couple of grissini, an orange, and an Avocado. (just not to let it go to waste because like typical Europeans (though I am an American and, worse, a Texan) we are gone a month.

    So I love my partner, but I am the efficient one. Fuck, I am insanely efficient, ready to go yesterday, and here we are.

    Eye spy a bottle of vintage Armagnac.

    How do you guys deal?

    Terry
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    Jul 09, 2008 7:19 PM GMT
    I would accept his adorable and endearing flaw, showering him with kisses and hot hot sex when next you see him to show him that yes, despite his flaws (which are adorable and endearing, remember, and without which he'd be...boring) you still love him madly.

    Yes. If you hadn't guessed, I'm the one who constantly runs late, plans sporadically, and flies by the seat of his (cute) pants...despite my best efforts. I can be late even if I get an especially early start. Dunno how, exactly. I've been told I have my own time zone.
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    Jul 09, 2008 9:52 PM GMT
    One could make the same complaint about one of my halves. As the aeroplane is taking off, his walking out the door; yet expects everyone to be ready when he is. I am just about always on time; early in fact.

    People whom are always late, have no respect for another's time. But I have my ways..........
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    Jul 09, 2008 9:55 PM GMT
    Pattison saidOne could make the same complaint about one of my halves......


    Exactly how many halves does One..er..have?

    and while we're at it, how much wood CAN a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? These things matter.
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    Jul 09, 2008 9:55 PM GMT
    Pattison, ursa --

    There are some things, I'm quite sure, that you DON'T mind your respective partners taking their sweet sweet time at...what's a vice in one situation is scintillatingly pleasurable in others. icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 09, 2008 9:56 PM GMT
    I don't have much tolerance for people who are habitually late. I find that it is usually a passive-aggressive grab for attention. Once in a while, it's understandable. Things come up.

    But when you are leaving for a trip? I don't find it cute at all.
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    Jul 09, 2008 9:57 PM GMT
    It's a vacation, not a business trip. Who cares if you're late? icon_cool.gif

    And you love him, I think that's quite enough. LOL
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    Jul 09, 2008 10:00 PM GMT
    jprichva said[quote][cite]Pattison said[/cite]One could make the same complaint about one of my halves......


    Exactly how many halves does One..er..have?

    and while we're at it, how much wood CAN a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? These things matter.
    [/quote]One has two long term Bf's, two halves.

    Oh one deliberately used the word halve, and not half.
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    Jul 09, 2008 10:02 PM GMT
    Oh like, you don't know me already, like you don't get that EVERYTHING IS A BUSINESS TRIP. Come on gorgeous, work with me here.

    Terry

    Sedative saidIt's a vacation, not a business trip. Who cares if you're late? icon_cool.gif

    And you love him, I think that's quite enough. LOL
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    Jul 09, 2008 10:12 PM GMT
    wine, Armagnac - sounds like the delay in departure hasn't stopped you from starting your vacation, at least.
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    Jul 09, 2008 10:20 PM GMT
    In my relationship, I am the efficient one and my partner is changing his outfit 3x in the 10 mins before we are ready to leave for somewhere.
    After 8.5 years of reaching into the refrigerator and grabbing out an empty OJ container, I have learned to do the following.

    1. quote an hour earlier than the desired departure time.
    2. do all the organization work before hand myself (you know you want it done your way anyway).
    3. adopt an "if you can't beat em, join em" posture and put the OJ container back in the fridge empty also (that fixed that quickly enough icon_surprised.gif).
    4. sit, relax, and have a drink just like you were doing when you wrote the post.
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    Jul 09, 2008 10:21 PM GMT
    ursamajor saidThis is dumb. I will regret it.

    My partner and I are going on 10 years. We aren't married, at least not legally, but in every other way yes.

    We should have left for our summer vacation this morning, and it is now 2059 hours. This is really typical.

    Now I am sitting in the kitchen (which is hot) with our doggies, and waiting to leave. While waiting I had a little wine, a couple of grissini, an orange, and an Avocado. (just not to let it go to waste because like typical Europeans (though I am an American and, worse, a Texan) we are gone a month.

    So I love my partner, but I am the efficient one. Fuck, I am insanely efficient, ready to go yesterday, and here we are.

    Eye spy a bottle of vintage Armagnac.

    How do you guys deal?

    Terry


    9 1/2 years here... and I feel your pain!

    Although even worse is when you are sitting there waiting for him and all of a sudden notice that he's outside playing with the dogs...

    You ask "Are you ready yet?"
    Response: "Yeah, Just waiting for yooooo..."

    ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Jul 09, 2008 10:37 PM GMT
    It sounds like the habit of procrastination from your partner is something you've accepted as-is for this long, enduring relationship. But this big trip is not an every day occurrance and you didn't expect this kind of procrastination. Fair enough.

    Are you familiar with skeet shooting? When the clay disk is launched and the rifleman takes aim, he aims just ahead of the disk so that when the rifle is fired, the bullet will meet the disk's trajectory at the time the disk meets the bullet's trajectory, thus a point of rendezvous of success will result.

    So with this tangent of logic, instead of sipping on wine and brooding with disappointment, pack his bags for him, load them in the car and walk him to his seat of the car. You have to lead him to rendezvous with you.

    Good Luck, and have a fun, safe trip.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Jul 09, 2008 10:38 PM GMT
    P.S. Pack something in his bags that will embarass him to the point that he will pack ahead and be ready for the next trip.
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    Jul 09, 2008 10:53 PM GMT
    urbanguy911 saidIn my relationship, I am the efficient one and my partner is changing his outfit 3x in the 10 mins before we are ready to leave for somewhere.
    After 8.5 years of reaching into the refrigerator and grabbing out an empty OJ container, I have learned to do the following.

    1. quote an hour earlier than the desired departure time.
    2. do all the organization work before hand myself (you know you want it done your way anyway).
    3. adopt an "if you can't beat em, join em" posture and put the OJ container back in the fridge empty also (that fixed that quickly enough icon_surprised.gif).
    4. sit, relax, and have a drink just like you were doing when you wrote the post.


    And stop bitching at us to be like you.. just cause we don't fold our socks perfectly, or feel the need to have everything ironed until its just soo.. its very irritating to us you know, this anal retentive nature, things are suppose to be fun, not regimented icon_razz.gif

    And when we are ridding the buggy around the island and I'm making speeding car sounds damn it, you should join in too cause its fun!!!

    Oh, this wasn't about me.. sorry
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    Jul 09, 2008 10:57 PM GMT
    I am the type of guy that trys to plan big vacations 6 months ahead of time to get the best deals, the best times etc.. My partner has a hard time asking for time off work let alone planning the vacation. It is strange because in many other parts of life is more organized then I am.

    If I were you UrsaMajor I would be getting very impatient right now.

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    Jul 09, 2008 11:01 PM GMT
    OH I Have a question
    Actually, its one that I thought about for a while.

    Its for you anal retentive planners icon_razz.gif

    If you get so frustrated by our lack of planning, why the hell don't you plan for it? I mean, come one, if you have been with us long enough you know it by now icon_razz.gif
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    Jul 09, 2008 11:23 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidOH I Have a question
    Actually, its one that I thought about for a while.

    Its for you anal retentive planners icon_razz.gif

    If you get so frustrated by our lack of planning, why the hell don't you plan for it? I mean, come one, if you have been with us long enough you know it by now icon_razz.gif


    LOL! One has tried to plan things so there is no issue's. But me American halve, hates this, as it means he has to be responsible. No he would rather leave it all till the last minute. seems to think it gives him more power?

    But none the less. We are all given a certain amount of time in life. It's just not right for another to waist another's time. As we only have a limited amount, and once it's gone, so are we.
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    Jul 10, 2008 1:20 AM GMT
    Well, it is 0315 and we STILL HAVEN'T LEFT. Car is packed though.

    At least we seem to be in the "via della uscita" at this point.

    McGay, I don't need a vacation to be an old drunk.

    Army, I am a great shot with a clay pigeon, thing is that fucker flies when I say pull, different story altogether.

    Ah, one other detail. I don't pack, it just isn't me. I make lists of what to pack but I don't actually do that. Now you can all laugh, and I am sure you will, but at least one or two of you know I am not joking.

    Now it is 0319 and counting.

    I think I will go wait in the car.

    Ciao,
    Next post from vacation, I hope
    T
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    Jul 10, 2008 1:45 AM GMT
    I am in the same boat. So I don't get frustrated, I use the extra time to clean something or pickup part of the house. I know he is always late so i plan on being ready and then use the "late" time to do something productive. If I just sit and wait, I will go crazy!
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    Jul 10, 2008 1:51 AM GMT
    Oh, shades of dealing with my ex. Granted, I'm usually 5 minutes late for everything, as I'm trying to do too much, but he was either hurriedly on time, or would be 2 hours late. Argh!
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    Jul 10, 2008 1:54 AM GMT
    Having been raised in a military family, order is not just respected, it is expected. I would not have a partner who does not follow "the rules."

    1. Being on-time means always being at least 10 minutes early

    2. If you will not be on-time, you are to call well in advance (defined: 30 minutes ahead) of the time you were supposed to arrive

    3. You do what I ask you to do with pleasure

    4. I do what you ask me to do with pleasure

    5. You follow through and always do the very best that you can on everything you attempt.

    Whether it is working out, sex, or a job, I don't tolerate flakes in my life. If we're going to do this, let's get intense and do it hard.

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    Jul 10, 2008 3:31 AM GMT
    I just got hard thinking about the last two guys kicking my ass to the curb for tardiness. Can I also confess that I left the toilet seat up.
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    Jul 10, 2008 3:42 AM GMT
    I can't stand it. I have friends when they come to pick me up, if i'm not ready and at the door they get crass with me but if i'm the one picking up they can take 10 bloody minutes and act like its nothing.

    I would address it because it is rude and it shows lack of consideration. Also because you've been in a relationship so long its imporatant to make sure you still respect each other in the smallest ways because its the little things that become big deals when there left to fester.

    So did you leave him behind or did you go together but arrived late?

    p.s. I've never used the word 'crass' before.. I kind of thought it would be cool to put it out there. It does mean bitchy right?
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    Jul 10, 2008 12:00 PM GMT
    ursamajor saidOh like, you don't know me already, like you don't get that EVERYTHING IS A BUSINESS TRIP. Come on gorgeous, work with me here.

    Terry


    Ach, you type A personalities, I can never understand you. icon_lol.gif

    But... I do hope you're on your way now. ROFL