Stuck in a very sticky situation.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2012 9:33 AM GMT
    First of all,

    I would like to say hello for I am relatively new to this site..

    I am having a major dilemma and I was quite hesitant to post a topic about my situation, but I am in dire need of advice.

    I've been living with my roommate for almost a year and a half now. At first, we were just two men going about our lives but throughout our time living together it developed into something more than that. I know many people say dating or having a relationship with your roommate is never a good thing, but I wanted to give it a shot. So I did. We ended up being in a relationship for about a year. Things were going well until he decided to drop the bomb and ended up telling me that he no longer wanted to be in the relationship because things were getting "routine". He ended up cheating on me a day later. How do I know this? I walked in on him doing it with another man.

    My problem is, he's been bringing over a few number of guys the past few months. I've confronted him many times setting out "rules" and not having guests over at a certain time. After all, we are just roommates again and rules need to be set out about certain things. Being incredibly hard-headed and immature, he simply chose not to listen nor follow any of these rules. I have to deal with him having intercourse with other men by listening to every action through my paper thin walls while I am sitting helplessly trying to mend a broken heart.

    I've confronted him many times and even kicked some of the men he's been sleeping around with out of the house. Nothing seems to be working. My first initial reaction was to get out of this house as soon as possible, but that isn't an option. We signed a two year lease on our apartment and with the economy in such bad shape, finding a new place is not that easy either. Also, both our names are on the lease.

    It's been getting even worse lately and I can't deal with this any longer. I've tried subletting at a couple different places but they ended up being a complete failure.

  • kiwi_nomad

    Posts: 317

    Mar 16, 2012 11:33 AM GMT
    save up money, find someone to sub-lease and then get the fuck out of there. It's clear he's not going to change and you can't really keep at him telling him not to bring home more guys. Yes it's a bit disrespectful of him to do that, but given the end of the relationship he's quite entitled to do so.

    Have you got some good friends of yours you could crash on their couch or spare bed on the nights he chooses to bring guys home?

    End of the day you aren't doing yourself any good staying there.
  • mybud

    Posts: 14106

    Mar 16, 2012 1:41 PM GMT
    Short and sweet...cut your losses...move out...Next time use this incident as a lesson learned...All the best
  • tckrguys

    Posts: 136

    Mar 16, 2012 4:21 PM GMT
    He is your roommate, not your partner or child. He does not have to follow YOUR rules. Don't like it, move.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2012 4:42 PM GMT
    It sounds as if you have approximately six months left on this two year lease. Is that right? If so, it might be best to just keep your head down and get through your six months. You mentioned you cannot leave - and your roommate isn't interested in following any new rules about guests. If you left early, what penalties would there be from the apartment management? If the penalties are small, you could just pay them and move, but if the penalties are large - just tough it out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2012 11:40 PM GMT
    I will just have to wait out the six months remaining on the lease.

    Thanks for the advice!