My boyfriend cheated on me

  • iiheartwaves

    Posts: 82

    Mar 18, 2012 10:55 PM GMT
    My boyfriend left town for a week, and he asked if I could water his plants now and then while he was gone. And mentioned that I could use his computer while he was away to do work. So i was using his computer, and accidentaly click on iMovie, and it opens up and its a video of him giving head to another guy, on our bed. The video said it was from March 8th, a day i spent with friends and family.

    I saw him later that night on march 8th, and he acted normal. seemed short tempered now and then, so is that a sign of guilt? Anyway he just called me earlier today and yelled at me for a lack of communication with him while he was away... he really lacked communicating that he cheated on me last week.

    I'm not sure what to do now, He's on his flight now - be home in 3 hours. Do i stay here and let him try to explain the situation? Cause i really want to be wrong here. I really want to believe there is no way this could be true. Or do i peace out. Pull up the video, and leave it on his computer so he can see it when he gets home? icon_redface.gif
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Mar 18, 2012 10:59 PM GMT
    That sucks my dude, leave that video up. Hes gonna shit his pants
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    Mar 18, 2012 10:59 PM GMT
    Is there any chance the date stamp on the vid could be the last time it was viewed, not the day it was made? Did you go to the file and do a check on the info? Date created, last date opened, last modified?
  • iiheartwaves

    Posts: 82

    Mar 18, 2012 11:03 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidIs there any chance the date stamp on the vid could be the last time it was viewed, not the day it was made? Did you go to the file and do a check on the info? Date created, last date opened, last modified?


    I didn't check, but he used a cock ring on the guy that we bought together. And in his browser history it says he went to the men for men section of craigslist on march 8th. Really, theres no more evidence needed ..
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    Mar 18, 2012 11:06 PM GMT
    iiheartwaves said
    Art_Deco saidIs there any chance the date stamp on the vid could be the last time it was viewed, not the day it was made? Did you go to the file and do a check on the info? Date created, last date opened, last modified?

    I didn't check, but he used a cock ring on the guy that we bought together. And in his browser history it says he went to the men for men section of craigslist on march 8th. Really, theres no more evidence needed ..

    icon_sad.gif

    Leave the video open when he returns home, as you propose. But be prepared for a violent reaction. When guys are caught in the act they often go wild in their desperation. Make sure your valuables are already in your car, because you likely won't be returning.
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Mar 18, 2012 11:06 PM GMT
    wow what a lame... craiglist for a stranger
  • iiheartwaves

    Posts: 82

    Mar 18, 2012 11:08 PM GMT
    Bmwkid92 saidwow what a lame... craiglist for a stranger


    Yeah... I feel really special. haha.
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    Mar 18, 2012 11:22 PM GMT
    Lol if I were you I would do it like a Beyonce music video.

    Dress all sexy and seduce him to the bed room, maybe some cheap wine and strawberry. Get him all excited and then bring out the handcuffs. Get him buck naked and pull open all the curtains. Before he can make a move, lock that cuff on and walk out of the apartment with the keys of his car. Oh and before you leave, turn that video on the big screen

    icon_cool.gif
  • mikehs123

    Posts: 9

    Mar 18, 2012 11:22 PM GMT
    Please let us know what's happened?

    Hope it turn out good!!!
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    Mar 18, 2012 11:23 PM GMT
    and in your bed too. what trash id dump his ass
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 18, 2012 11:31 PM GMT
    Pack up whatever stuff is yours and get it out of there before he comes home.

    I'd leave the video up, leave a note that says "Fuck You" and block his calls.
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    Mar 18, 2012 11:36 PM GMT
    Get tested. It was not the only time. Even when he tells you it was the only time, you already know he's not the trustworthy type.
    Someone else said get your stuff out. That's wise too. Sketchy guys are good at lying. Sad but for whatever reason it is easier for them to lie than to just have healthy "open" relationships.
    Get tested, get out and find a new BF who values honesty.
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    Mar 18, 2012 11:45 PM GMT
    Does the other guy know it was being recorded?

    Either way, it sounds like he did it on purpose, hoping you would find it...unless he's just totally stupid, in which case you should dump him anyway.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Mar 18, 2012 11:45 PM GMT
    Haha I doubt you need to question what you've seen.

    I know from my own experience that I usually let actions speak for me, but it usually ends up badly one way or another. Even if this leads to you ending it, I'd suggest that you at least talk it out with him; it'll at least give some closure.
  • iiheartwaves

    Posts: 82

    Mar 18, 2012 11:58 PM GMT
    buddha_the_god saidHaha I doubt you need to question what you've seen.
    I'd suggest that you at least talk it out with him; it'll at least give some closure.


    I think thats my game plan. as soon as he walks through those doors. I need answers.
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    Mar 18, 2012 11:59 PM GMT
    iiheartwaves said
    buddha_the_god saidHaha I doubt you need to question what you've seen.
    I'd suggest that you at least talk it out with him; it'll at least give some closure.


    I think thats my game plan. as soon as he walks through those doors. I need answers.



    Why not do what I suggested?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2012 12:01 AM GMT
    I am reading your previous thread from a about 4 weeks ago where you were wondering about having two valentines and dissing the guy you had gone on 5 dates with a guy you just met.. Is this the same guy...you have only been together for how long? 3 weeks since Valentines Days?
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Mar 19, 2012 12:01 AM GMT
    iiheartwaves saidMy boyfriend left town for a week, and he asked if I could water his plants now and then while he was gone. And mentioned that I could use his computer while he was away to do work. So i was using his computer, and accidentaly click on iMovie, and it opens up and its a video of him giving head to another guy, on our bed. The video said it was from March 8th, a day i spent with friends and family.

    I saw him later that night on march 8th, and he acted normal. seemed short tempered now and then, so is that a sign of guilt? Anyway he just called me earlier today and yelled at me for a lack of communication with him while he was away... he really lacked communicating that he cheated on me last week.

    I'm not sure what to do now, He's on his flight now - be home in 3 hours. Do i stay here and let him try to explain the situation? Cause i really want to be wrong here. I really want to believe there is no way this could be true. Or do i peace out. Pull up the video, and leave it on his computer so he can see it when he gets home? icon_redface.gif


    Sorry, but aren't you the guy who very recently met two guys to choose from who you liked? As recent as Valentine's Day.

    Looks like you chose the wrong one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2012 12:03 AM GMT
    leave him. Do not go back to him, He cheated on you.
  • laxdude25

    Posts: 604

    Mar 19, 2012 12:03 AM GMT
    All I can say, is wtf is wrong with this guy, and so many guys. From your profile, you seem like an awesome catch for anyone. Sounds like you've decided to talk things out with him, but follow some of the good advice you've received here, and be prepared for some nasty stuff. And then go out and find a guy who is worth your love. Good luck.
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    Mar 19, 2012 12:04 AM GMT
    Please don't listen to all this melodramatic advice about cuffing him to beds and leaving the video up and running. When he gets back just have an open and direct conversation with him. If you were under the impression your relationship was monogamous, use that as a starting point ("I was under the impression we were monogamous, so I was surprised to see a video of you blowing another dude...")

    He will likely insist that was the only time and he's sorry and such. You'll have to decide for yourself whether you believe him and whether you want to continue the relationship. Cheating needn't be the end of a relationship, if you both love each other, you can work through it, if you both want to.
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    Mar 19, 2012 12:07 AM GMT
    I'd have to give a chance to discuss it, get it out in the open, make him accountable for his actions then end it. There is no excuse for cheating and I personally don't think there can ever be complete trust again. I couldn't live with that.

    Plus it's just so totally selfish that he is secretly pulling you into the risk of his risky behavior.
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    Mar 19, 2012 12:15 AM GMT
    thenes said[...] Cheating needn't be the end of a relationship, if you both love each other, you can work through it, if you both want to.


    makinmyway saidI'd have to give a chance to discuss it, get it out in the open, make him accountable for his actions then end it. There is no excuse for cheating and I personally don't think there can ever be complete trust again. I couldn't live with that.

    Plus it's just so totally selfish that he is secretly pulling you into the risk of his risky behavior.


    IMO these two quotes above are basically what you need to center your decision on.
    Hugs.
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    Mar 19, 2012 12:16 AM GMT
    So reading through this again (and some comments from others about another thread of yours) I'm a bit confused.

    You met this guy only a month ago? And you're watering his plants and using his computer... so I assume you're at HIS place... but you referred to it as "our bed"... don't you mean "his bed?" Unless you're already living together after only a month.

    This really makes me think that because your relationship is so new, you might just be assuming that you're monogamous but haven't actually had "the talk"... could that be the case? It could very well be that he's under the impression that you guys are still in that early dating phase but aren't exclusive.
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    Mar 19, 2012 12:19 AM GMT
    sorry dude, that does suck.

    you seem like a really great guy, so i would def dump his ass and move on.

    FYI: buffalo is always in need of good guys