Has your body undergone a drastic change in your life? Has it affected the way others treat you? If so, how?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2012 8:36 AM GMT
    To be more specific: Are you an example of one of those Before/After photos frequently seen in in the magazine ads, the Body For Life book covers, and the like? Did you undergo massive weight loss and now fit skinny jeans? Were you of a very thin body type that embarked on a fitness regimen to emulate your favorite cover models? OR, did something happen to cause these attributes to disappear (e.g. illness, injury, etc)? These are just examples. I'm curious about ANY sort of drastic body changes (EXCEPT sex-change, which I think merits a forum all of its own), be it, weight, muscle, scarring, amputation, or anything else I haven't thought of.

    If you are or know anyone has experienced such a change, I would very much like to hear about your/their journey. I am particularly interested to hear any differences in how people treated you "before" and "after." This goes for anyone from your nearest and dearest to random people on the street. Did you find yourself treating other people differently, or seeing them in a new light? I would love to hear any stories you have to tell or specific incidences that stick out in your mind; any changes in attitude, for better or worse, that were brought on by (or directly incited) a significant and noticeable physical change.

    This totally sounds like I'm writing a book or some human interest piece on 20/20. I'm not. I'm just an unemployed gay guy with time on his hands ;) I have stayed relatively the same (physically) throughout my 3 decades on this earth (I'll probably get carded in my 40's), so, rather than undergo a such an intense physical change myself just to "see what it's like," I figured I would ask the sources directly. ALSO, if you know of any books or studies done on this topic (specifically on gay men), I would really appreciate a cited source or a link, so I can further educate myself (I seem to be having trouble finding the specific information I am looking for). Thank you for reading this, even if you think you have no input to offer icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 19, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    Kind of, I think I'm more of the I surprise people when I take my shirt off variety lol.

    I gained 30 lbs (from 136) before anyone started to comment... and that was a lot of work, so I don't always take peoples compliments as a baseline for success. Most people don't realize the huge amount of work that goes into it (though I enjoy it) and only notice drastic changes.

    Sometimes I get annoyed by people who just have lower body fat too icon_razz.gif. There is a guy at work who weighs the same as me, but is more cut so he's the "buff"one icon_razz.gif But, I have a crush on him so I'll be happy with that in my bed too icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 19, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    I put on maybe 20 lbs in my mid/late 30s after I buried the love of my life. I remember one time at that weight putting the make on some guy who wouldn't give me the time of day. Eventually I got my bod back, I'm at some local bar and the same fucking creep puts the make on me. People can be such douchebags.

    I looked pretty good through my 40s but then lost another LTR to death along with other deaths at the same time, got super depressed & put on 30 lbs that I'm still working off. It totally makes a difference on how the gay world treats you.

    Concurrently, I'm also now over 50 and even though I meet guys my age or younger who actually seem to get pissed off that I don't look as old as them, I know that my age is showing nonetheless.

    Even though I've worked most of my life to subdue my ego, even though I enjoy a casual, come as you are, low-key life, pretty much free from the trappings of vanity, I still find myself affected by it. I'm still getting used to becoming invisible. It is very strange to go from turning heads when you walk into a bar when you're younger, to nobody noticing when you walk into a bar, to younger guys turning their heads to avoid even looking at what they will become.

    The body changes. Get used to it. That's life.
  • NYCAthlete

    Posts: 132

    Mar 19, 2012 4:29 PM GMT
    My body definitely has gone through changes due to constant work.
    I was a lightweight rower in college and weighed 155 pounds. I worked hard after college and put on a solid 30 pounds (40 and my highest).
    When I go home people I grow up with are always blown away because that's not their memory of me.
    And now when I take my shirt off I get lots of comments; a lot of those are due to the fact that no one expects a tall redhead to have a body. ;P

    And I have changes on a yearly basis. I'm training for a triathlon again so I'll probably lose some weight and then put it back on after.
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Mar 19, 2012 4:30 PM GMT
    Yes, definitely.

    Of course it has affected my relations with people in general, but not only from their perspective. Of course, they changed their look towards me, but my physical "transformation" has also put a lot of self-confidence in me, and that also affects the way I interact with people, how I present myself, etc.
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    Mar 19, 2012 4:42 PM GMT
    Yes. I have lost 123 pounds.

    I get treated differently - however it varies.

    Family: Say they're proud, but they only give backhanded compliments and are overall discouraging. For instance my mother actually asks me "So what are you going to do when the new wears off of this gym thing and you gain all the weight back?" or since I actually have a shred of confidence I often get "Well, this just isn't like you..."

    Friends: Are super happy and supportive.

    Coworkers: Are friendly and supportive.

    Former coworkers: Actually do not recognize me when I visit my hometown. Unless they've seen me on facebook, then they aren't sure in person.

    Strangers: - I think it's mostly because I'm not as self-conscious - but I don't feel like I get those looks when going into a restaurant or grocery store - you know the - OMG he's going to eat the entire buffet looks... or the "Are you sure you're in the right place?" when going to the gym. I sort of just blend into the crowd now. Which actually makes me happy.

    The biggest struggle for me is the internal one. I still see the fat person when I look in the mirror so it's hard to transition the mindset. It takes time.

    I hope that answers your question.
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    Mar 19, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    My one year transformation.




    I've gain a lot more confidence and understanding in myself. I know I break limits and improve who I am as a person: physically and mentally. Other people across town have been really impressed with my results and have even asked for some advice. I don't pretend I know everything, but I would like to think I've inspired and motivated people to train icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 19, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
    "... in your life?" Yes. As a kid I was a combination of Paul Pfeiffer (The Wonder Years), Steve Urkel (Family Matters) and Screech (Saved By The Bell). I was made fun of for years by almost everyone around me, so when people outside my family, like overly loving Aunts, started telling me I was good looking in my teens I thought they wanted me to do their homework or borrow some money. Took me the better part of a decade, that ended a few years ago, but I finally learned to be happy being good looking to others; learned to accept a compliment, and realized how awesome life can be!
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    Mar 19, 2012 4:54 PM GMT
    Yup, and it's positively effected most, if not all my relationships.

    Sadly, with vanity it has decreased my attraction to the more common guy and wanting someone else who takes care of themselves in a similar fashion.