Abs: Are They A Deal Breaker?

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    Mar 20, 2012 2:44 AM GMT
    So I'm pretty new to this site and so far I must say that I've enjoyed reading a lot of the posts in my free time.

    The common theme here is abs. Nearly every person has a picture up of a washboard stomach. Clearly, from the looks of my profile, I am not one of those people.

    I have messaged a few of you and many of my messages are ignored. All my messages are a generic, ''hey, how are you? Have a good weekend?"

    Since many of my messages go ignored, I figured maybe it was because I lack a defined 6 pack.

    My question to you all is, does a 6 pack determine who you do or do not talk to? Is it a deal breaker for dating? This isn't about me so don't take it that way. Just wondering why abs seem to weigh heavy on friendships/relationships. So where do abs rank in importance for you?

    My answer:

    somewhere near the bottom. Face, personality, smile, teeth, career and goal oriented come first.
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    Mar 20, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    hou2jax saidI have messaged a few of you and many of my messages are ignored. All my messages are a generic, ''hey, how are you? Have a good weekend?"

    Since many of my messages go ignored, I figured maybe it was because I lack a defined 6 pack.


    You figured wrong.

    There needs to be a "Read Me" file to this site for newcomers I think. People sign up for RJ, send out dozens, maybe even a hundred messages, get no response, and assume it has something to do with them or some ugliness on their part.

    Most guys just aren't going to respond... for a range of reasons. Kinda how it is around here icon_smile.gif. It's no big deal... When I joined, I spammed a couple dozen guys I thought were hot... got no responses. Not a huge deal. Has nothing to do with me just like your silences have nothing to do with your abs (I don't have abs...)

    My advice is to really only message someone when you have something to say to them. Messaging with some generic line just to get them talking isn't going to be very successful.
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    Mar 20, 2012 2:48 AM GMT
    I would give a serious reply to this thread, but the OP has no abs.
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    Mar 20, 2012 2:57 AM GMT
    The common theme here is abs. Nearly every person has a picture up of a washboard stomach.

    They do??? Ummm, okay. Dude, I think you're exaggerating a wee bit there.



    My question to you all is, does a 6 pack determine who you do or do not talk to?

    Yeah. I usually don't talk to people who are showing off a six pack because most of the time (not always), they're about as shallow as Paris Hilton.



    Is it a deal breaker for dating?

    I seriously wish you could see my face right now, because my mouth is gapping open in shock to think that someone might actually reject someone for not having a six pack. Maybe you shouldn't worry so much who shallow guys will consider dating...unless of course you're shallow too.
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    Mar 20, 2012 2:58 AM GMT
    ahahahaha...im sorry to laugh but this is the most absurd insecurity I heard of. But it's cute.

    If abs were a dating/ friendship requirement I think 95% of guys would be single and not talk to each other icon_twisted.gif

    Now foot size is a totally different story.. icon_redface.gif
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    Mar 20, 2012 3:01 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidThe common theme here is abs. Nearly every person has a picture up of a washboard stomach.

    They do??? Ummm, okay. Dude, I think you're exaggerating a wee bit there.



    My question to you all is, does a 6 pack determine who you do or do not talk to?

    Yeah. I usually don't talk to people who are showing off a six pack because most of the time (not always), they're about as shallow as Paris Hilton.



    Is it a deal breaker for dating?

    I seriously wish you could see my face right now, because my mouth is gapping open in shock to think that someone might actually reject someone for not having a six pack. Maybe you shouldn't worry so much who shallow guys will consider dating...unless of course you're shallow too.


    There is definitely truth to your reply. No, I am not shallow in terms of dating or not dating somebody due to a physical trait.
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    Mar 20, 2012 3:59 AM GMT
    Generic e-mails tend to go into the "I'll deal with it later" pile for most RJ guys. Then they forget they had a "I'll deal with it later" pile.

    Address or ask something specific that YOU READ IN THEIR PROFILE and you will most likely get a response.

    Participate in the forums and get to know who you may click with - and give everyone else an opportunity to get an idea of who you are and what your viewpoints are like. It is a good way to establish common ground without being too personal.

    And keep in mind, RJ isn't a dating site. That is a componet sometimes but not the primary function. Just read the number of threads with guys saying how they never meet anyone and can't find anyone to date. If this WERE a dating site -- it's missing it's target.

    And NO - abs have nothing to do with anything other than brief admiration. You have NOTHING to worry about in that department.

    Welcome to RJ!!!!

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    Mar 20, 2012 4:00 AM GMT
    no 8 pack no talky
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:04 AM GMT
    Abs are an absolute must for me. I don't care if they're visible or not. You just have to have them. Otherwise, you're just a torso who can't hold himself up straight, and I'm not into that. (No judgement on you if that's a turn on for you though.)

    On a more serious note, I think what other people have said is true. There are a lot of reasons why guys don't respond. Try something more engaging than just a one-liner PM. Participate in the forums, and maybe you'll find people you click with.

    And welcome aboard!
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:06 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI would give a serious reply to this thread, but the OP has no abs.


    LOL
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:07 AM GMT
    Thanks for the welcome's. However, I really didn't want the focus to be on me and why people didn't respond to my messages. Clearly, as somebody else pointed out, perhaps there is truth to me being insecure and why I went ahead and made the topic. Truth being told, I'm a very insecure individual still trying to find his place in the gay community.

    Anyway, just was wondering where abs ranked in importance for you guys. Nothing more really. Carry on! icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:09 AM GMT
    Cash saidGeneric e-mails tend to go into the "I'll deal with it later" pile for most RJ guys. Then they forget they had a "I'll deal with it later" pile.

    Address or ask something specific that YOU READ IN THEIR PROFILE and you will most likely get a response.

    Participate in the forums and get to know who you may click with - and give everyone else an opportunity to get an idea of who you are and what your viewpoints are like. It is a good way to establish common ground without being too personal.

    And keep in mind, RJ isn't a dating site. That is a componet sometimes but not the primary function. Just read the number of threads with guys saying how they never meet anyone and can't find anyone to date. If this WERE a dating site -- it's missing it's target.

    And NO - abs have nothing to do with anything other than brief admiration. You have NOTHING to worry about in that department.

    Welcome to RJ!!!!

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif


    Listen to Cash... he's a wise man and one sexy mother fucker to boot. And he's usually spot on.
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:10 AM GMT
    hou2jax saidThanks for the welcome's. However, I really didn't want the focus to be on me and why people didn't respond to my messages. Clearly, as somebody else pointed out, perhaps there is truth to me being insecure and why I went ahead and made the topic. Truth being told, I'm a very insecure individual still trying to find his place in the gay community.

    Anyway, just was wondering where abs ranked in importance for you guys. Nothing more really. Carry on! icon_smile.gif


    Abs are nice... but they're not everything. But rubbing the shaft of your cock along nice firm abs feels amazing...
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:11 AM GMT
    I ignored your message for another reason. Oh wait, I never got one icon_sad.gif but then again I dont have abs, which might explain it.
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:11 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidAbs are an absolute must for me. I don't care if they're visible or not. You just have to have them. Otherwise, you're just a torso who can't hold himself up straight, and I'm not into that. (No judgement on you if that's a turn on for you though.)



    Jeez, a guy lacks a major muscle group altogether and suddenly he's invisible!

    Little known fact: Not every person has the same amount of muscles (I'm talking about the smaller minor muscles, the number varies in every person. Though every person does have exactly 206 bones...barring mutation or deformity of course).
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:12 AM GMT
    speedobuddy said
    hou2jax saidThanks for the welcome's. However, I really didn't want the focus to be on me and why people didn't respond to my messages. Clearly, as somebody else pointed out, perhaps there is truth to me being insecure and why I went ahead and made the topic. Truth being told, I'm a very insecure individual still trying to find his place in the gay community.

    Anyway, just was wondering where abs ranked in importance for you guys. Nothing more really. Carry on! icon_smile.gif


    Abs are nice... but they're not everything. But rubbing the shaft of your cock along nice firm abs feels amazing...


    HAHA! Yes, yes it does.
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    Make sure you have a sense of humor too. Otherwise you're gonna get butthurt a lot.

    I mean, unless that's what you're into... icon_cool.gif
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidJeez, a guy lacks a major muscle group altogether and suddenly he's invisible!

    Little known fact: Not every person has the same amount of muscles (I'm talking about the smaller minor muscles, the number varies in every person. Though every person does have exactly 206 bones...barring mutation or deformity of course).


    Why am I just now finding out about this??? So all this time, I could have been judging people, not only on the size of their muscles, but on the number of muscles they have as well?
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:16 AM GMT
    dude, u r cute..
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:16 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    Ariodante saidJeez, a guy lacks a major muscle group altogether and suddenly he's invisible!

    Little known fact: Not every person has the same amount of muscles (I'm talking about the smaller minor muscles, the number varies in every person. Though every person does have exactly 206 bones...barring mutation or deformity of course).


    Why am I just now finding out about this??? So all this time, I could have been judging people, not only on the size of their muscles, but on the number of muscles they have as well?


    so many missed opportunities....
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:18 AM GMT
    I only use my abs for good like grating cheese or opening cans of tomato soup for the neighbors otherwise I wouldn't even have them.
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:23 AM GMT
    i talk to everyone that contacts me, or vice versa, so it has nothing to do with how a person looks like or what kind of an ab they have.
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:28 AM GMT
    No, at least they shouldn't be unless you want to be very very alone lol.
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:30 AM GMT
    Fuck yes abs matter. I expect no less than a six pack damnit icon_mad.gif

    Oh whats that, you have a 4 pack GET LOST FATTY icon_mad.gif

    Oh whats that? How was my weekend? How was your ab less workout GAH!icon_mad.gif
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    Mar 20, 2012 4:31 AM GMT
    On topic: Email has never been a good way for me to develop a friendship online with anyone. I've exchanged emails with guys with abs and no abs, ultimately at some point I get bored regardless of what they look like physically. Only through the forum do I stay actively engaged with certain people (or if I progress to meet them in person soon after coming into contact with them). But just email? No. Doesn't matter how ripped a guy is.