When Do You Tell New People In Your Life You Are Gay

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    Mar 21, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    I started a new job, and people tend to not exactly know if I am gay. I am not exactly fem but I am a little ghetto and stuff, so unless they truly know me they think im just a regular dude which technically I am. But they auto assume I am straight.

    It is kinda like coming out the closet all over again.
    Could it be that it is bothering me because I am not truly comfortable with it yet? I just laugh it off like no big deal, but it does bother me.

    I don't believe in putting my business out there, but it makes me feel awkward when people ask me if I have a GF or if I think a girl who walks by is hot.

    Should I just make it be known?
    Or should I just brush the questions off?
    It is kinda like a fear of what they will think, or if they will talk about me?
    There are other gays who work there so I am not exactly alone, but idk...just still feels awkward because I am not close to them yet.

    What should I do?
    I don't mind people disliking me, but I don't want tension at my job.
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    Mar 21, 2012 3:02 AM GMT
    I used to think of it as coming out over and over again, and for me it's multiple times a day; the ring makes it worse not better (didn't think that one through).
    but now
    I think of it as being out..your not coming out to them, they are coming in. You open the door, if they want to cross the threshold that's up to them. I could care less either way.
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    Mar 21, 2012 3:17 AM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA said[...]
    What should I do?
    I don't mind people disliking me, but I don't want tension at my job.


    Do your job and don't make it an issue. If the subject arises, just answer, without being apologetic or defensive. You're at work to do your job.
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    Mar 21, 2012 4:38 AM GMT
    That is true. I guess, but this is the type of job where communication and teamwork is so important. We are basically in each others faces..so it is not like I can go hide in my cubicle.
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    Mar 21, 2012 4:54 AM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA saidThat is true. I guess, but this is the type of job where communication and teamwork is so important. We are basically in each others faces..so it is not like I can go hide in my cubicle.


    That's true but I've had friends get fired or in trouble just because they were gay, atheist, ect, ect. Most jobs don't want anyone discussing that :
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    Mar 21, 2012 5:10 AM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA saidWhen Do You Tell New People In Your Life You Are Gay
    When they ask me.
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    Mar 22, 2012 12:48 AM GMT
    I guess your right.
    Ill try to just ignore it.

    I just remember when i worked somewhere else, and a super christian lady came in and started dissing gays so badly. I just felt so hurt, and I didnt say anything. SHe was so nice 2 me, little did she know I wanted to hit her.
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    Mar 22, 2012 12:51 AM GMT
    I tell them right after we have slept together.
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    Mar 22, 2012 12:58 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    JamieJfromtheA saidWhen Do You Tell New People In Your Life You Are Gay
    When they ask me.
    +1
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    Mar 22, 2012 12:59 AM GMT
    Cash saidI tell them right after we have slept together.


    Boo..You Whore.
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:03 AM GMT
    Cash saidI tell them right after we have slept together.


    That's a pretty dishonest and unfair approach if you ask me.

    When I sense I may have sex with a man, and he's freshening up in the bathroom as I have explicitly instructed him to do so, I rifle through his chinos he left on the floor until I find his wallet. I empty the cash, jot down his credit and debit card numbers including the security codes, and hope I find a social security card so I can empty his accounts and run up a list of fraudulent charges. If I sense he's coming out of the bathroom before I'm done I yell KEEP SCRUBBING I STILL SMELL DIRTY ASS FROM HERE!!!!

    After I'm finished I sit him down and say "There's something we need to talk about. Part of what I want to tell you, is that I'm gay...the other part is you're ugly and your breath reeks. I'm leaving."

    It's really the only honest and fair thing you can do.
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Mar 22, 2012 1:13 AM GMT
    Doctor-I-Think-I-Might-Be-a-Homosexual.g
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:16 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Cash saidI tell them right after we have slept together.


    That's a pretty dishonest and unfair approach if you ask me.

    When I sense I may have sex with a man, and he's freshening up in the bathroom as I have explicitly instructed him to do so, I rifle through his chinos he left on the floor until I find his wallet. I empty the cash, jot down his credit and debit card numbers including the security codes, and hope I find a social security card so I can empty his accounts and run up a list of fraudulent charges. If I sense he's coming out of the bathroom before I'm done I yell KEEP SCRUBBING I STILL SMELL DIRTY ASS FROM HERE!!!!

    After I'm finished I sit him down and say "There's something we need to talk about. Part of what I want to tell you, is that I'm gay...the other part is you're ugly and your breath reeks. I'm leaving."

    It's really the only honest and fair thing you can do.


    Yeah, but you have more of a flair for physical comedy than I do.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Mar 22, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    When they encounter your personal life. We're brining our spouses to a bowling match. Hey! This is Steve.
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:19 AM GMT
    I don't tell people, don't get me wrong, I don't hide it ether, when and if they figure it out then so be it. If we are talking about significant others, and I'm seeing someone, I'll mention him. I don't have a rainbow on my car, personally I think it's tacky, but I would never, and have never hidden who I am.Hope that helps
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:29 AM GMT
    I told Me, Myself and I so that is 3 people icon_lol.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Mar 22, 2012 1:39 AM GMT
    It is a matter of whether it need be any of their concern. Dating relationships have been considered bad taste, if not forbidden, in every work situation I have encountered. The real point is how to reply to people without being rude. It can be quite difficult, simply because others do not understand how rude they are being be prying into your personal affairs.