Why am I not attracted to any other guys besides him?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2012 6:10 AM GMT
    Hey guys this is my first post and I'm just looking for some advice on some issues I'm going through...

    Just a little about me first I'm a college student and still not out yet to anyone unfortunetely. Growing up I was into sports at a really young age so I'm pretty competitive. I knew I was gay when I started middle school but I didn't really understand it much till I started high school. I never really opened up about being gay and stuff but it was hard since I played pretty much every sport. Since then I always just went out on dates with girls (even though i have no interest with them besides being friends) just so people wouldn't think that I was gay. I know it's the wrong thing to do but I just dont feel ready to come out yet.

    Anyways there's a guy I really connected with on this site since last year and we stayed in touch through Facebook. He doesn't live anywhere near me so we havent got to meet each other in real life. We used to talk about everything together and we have so much in common but recently he just stopped really responding to any of my messages. Usually I can just forget about it and move on but for some reason I just can't! I really like this guy a lot. He's actually the ONLY guy I'm even attracted too. I don't really care so much about looks, muscles, and all that stuff I'd rather feel a real connection with someone and that's why I like this guy so much I never felt this way towards anyone. I'm seriously one of the nicest guys you could meet and people say I'm a pretty good looking guy. I just don't understand what went wrong between us. For some reason he hotlists a bunch of guys and I can't see what he sees in them that he doesn't see in me. I pretty much don't see myself wanting to be with any other guy. I have a feeling if I got a chance to meet him things would be different. What do I do about this?
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    Mar 21, 2012 11:32 AM GMT
    Its simple: Curse of the Online Crush
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    Mar 21, 2012 11:43 AM GMT
    ummm... Buddy, you've only been on this site since Feb 2012.... we may be cute but some of us aren't dumb.

    Troll much? icon_cool.gif
  • muscletruk

    Posts: 109

    Mar 21, 2012 11:55 AM GMT
    your young this too shall pass.
    I know it seems like this/he is it, but that's probably not the case.
    relationships are tricky in real time, to say nothing of on line. you have to let it go and move on. loose yourself in your sports for a while. it will be ok
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    Mar 21, 2012 11:59 AM GMT
    You sound like you're young and have a crush. It's odd to have such a profound cyber crush on someone you've never met. Go out and meet real people in the real world!
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    Mar 21, 2012 12:10 PM GMT
    You guys had different expectations on this site. He probably wasn't looking for or expecting anything beyond a social online relationship, especially if you live far away. Etiquette rules on correspondence differing in the online world as opposed to the real world. Right or wrong, it is better to recognize what it is and try and move on. You met one of a thousand guys who visit this website - odds are, you will find more (maybe closer to you). Chin up!
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    Mar 21, 2012 1:13 PM GMT
    speedobuddy saidummm... Buddy, you've only been on this site since Feb 2012.... we may be cute but some of us aren't dumb.

    Troll much? icon_cool.gif


    Lol. Some people are so quick to dismiss others - it's ridiculous. icon_rolleyes.gif

    My advice: get out there and move on. You're in college right? Or at least the city? There are tons of guys out there that I'm sure will spark your interest as much as this guy did.

    And hey, maybe you'll get to meet him someday - but if he isn't giving you the time of day that you're giving him, then he's just not worth it.
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    Mar 21, 2012 1:19 PM GMT
    OutdoorProduct said
    speedobuddy saidummm... Buddy, you've only been on this site since Feb 2012.... we may be cute but some of us aren't dumb.

    Troll much? icon_cool.gif


    Lol. Some people are so quick to dismiss others - it's ridiculous. icon_rolleyes.gif

    My advice: get out there and move on. You're in college right? Or at least the city? There are tons of guys out there that I'm sure will spark your interest as much as this guy did.

    And hey, maybe you'll get to meet him someday - but if he isn't giving you the time of day that you're giving him, then he's just not worth it.


    +1
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    Mar 21, 2012 1:20 PM GMT
    speedobuddy saidummm... Buddy, you've only been on this site since Feb 2012.... we may be cute but some of us aren't dumb.

    Troll much? icon_cool.gif

    He says in the OP and in his profile that he's a former RJ member who met this guy here last year. He deleted his account but the 2 continued to chat on Facebook. Now he's returned with a new RJ account. It seems plausible.
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    Mar 21, 2012 1:30 PM GMT
    well what you had with him is in the past now, its dead, move on and that connection you developed with him and be developed with other guys to, don't close yourself out for a person online that you thought had the same interest, things are not always black and white. work on making that connection with other guys there are plenty out thereicon_smile.gif
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    Mar 21, 2012 1:38 PM GMT
    Athlete92 saidI pretty much don't see myself wanting to be with any other guy. I have a feeling if I got a chance to meet him things would be different. What do I do about this?

    It's not unusual for young men to develop a severe & exclusive crush. Happens to straight guys over women, too. But it's probably better to widen your social sphere, rather than limit it to one guy alone. And in time you will likely "see yourself" with other guys, it'll just start to happen. Especially once you feel comfortable with coming out.

    As for the RJ hot listing, lots of guys here do it without it meaning very much. Some just intend it as a compliment, for a guy who's done his RJ homework and looks super. It doesn't necessarily mean your FB buddy has sexual plans for each and every one of these guys on his hot list.
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    Mar 21, 2012 1:50 PM GMT
    Thanks guys for responding to my post. No I'm not a troll I was just seeking advice because it seems like every guy I meet I don't feel an attraction towards whether he's straight or gay. I'm into sports at my school so I'm around guys a lot and I still don't feel any attraction towards any of them. I really like this guy but you guys are right it's time for me to move on and just hope something better comes along.
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    Mar 21, 2012 2:13 PM GMT
    this makes turning 50 this year, not so horrible
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    Mar 21, 2012 2:26 PM GMT
    Athlete92 saidI'm into sports at my school so I'm around guys a lot and I still don't feel any attraction towards any of them.

    The answer to that MAY lie in the fact that you're not out, and especially don't want to be known as gay on your school teams. You've been deliberately keeping your gay feelings buried to prevent detection, conditioning yourself in a sense, so that even off the field or court you aren't responding to other men the way you should. Just a thought...
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    Mar 21, 2012 3:40 PM GMT
    Athlete92 saidHey guys this is my first post and I'm just looking for some advice on some issues I'm going through...

    Just a little about me first I'm a college student and still not out yet to anyone unfortunetely. Growing up I was into sports at a really young age so I'm pretty competitive. I knew I was gay when I started middle school but I didn't really understand it much till I started high school. I never really opened up about being gay and stuff but it was hard since I played pretty much every sport. Since then I always just went out on dates with girls (even though i have no interest with them besides being friends) just so people wouldn't think that I was gay. I know it's the wrong thing to do but I just dont feel ready to come out yet.

    Anyways there's a guy I really connected with on this site since last year and we stayed in touch through Facebook. He doesn't live anywhere near me so we havent got to meet each other in real life. We used to talk about everything together and we have so much in common but recently he just stopped really responding to any of my messages. Usually I can just forget about it and move on but for some reason I just can't! I really like this guy a lot. He's actually the ONLY guy I'm even attracted too. I don't really care so much about looks, muscles, and all that stuff I'd rather feel a real connection with someone and that's why I like this guy so much I never felt this way towards anyone. I'm seriously one of the nicest guys you could meet and people say I'm a pretty good looking guy. I just don't understand what went wrong between us. For some reason he hotlists a bunch of guys and I can't see what he sees in them that he doesn't see in me. I pretty much don't see myself wanting to be with any other guy. I have a feeling if I got a chance to meet him things would be different. What do I do about this?


    You need to get a life in The Real World. Distant relationships rarely, if ever, work. Get off the computer; walk out the door. There's a whole world out there. Get pictured; get profiled; close the closet door behind you; live your life.

    The first thing is to get into The Real World as the real you. That starts by liking yourself. Hiding, being timid, and living online will not fix this. Get out and see the world.
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    Mar 21, 2012 3:46 PM GMT
    Athlete92 saidHey guys this is my first post and I'm just looking for some advice on some issues I'm going through...

    Just a little about me first I'm a college student and still not out yet to anyone unfortunetely. Growing up I was into sports at a really young age so I'm pretty competitive. I knew I was gay when I started middle school but I didn't really understand it much till I started high school. I never really opened up about being gay and stuff but it was hard since I played pretty much every sport. Since then I always just went out on dates with girls (even though i have no interest with them besides being friends) just so people wouldn't think that I was gay. I know it's the wrong thing to do but I just dont feel ready to come out yet.

    Anyways there's a guy I really connected with on this site since last year and we stayed in touch through Facebook. He doesn't live anywhere near me so we havent got to meet each other in real life. We used to talk about everything together and we have so much in common but recently he just stopped really responding to any of my messages. Usually I can just forget about it and move on but for some reason I just can't! I really like this guy a lot. He's actually the ONLY guy I'm even attracted too. I don't really care so much about looks, muscles, and all that stuff I'd rather feel a real connection with someone and that's why I like this guy so much I never felt this way towards anyone. I'm seriously one of the nicest guys you could meet and people say I'm a pretty good looking guy. I just don't understand what went wrong between us. For some reason he hotlists a bunch of guys and I can't see what he sees in them that he doesn't see in me. I pretty much don't see myself wanting to be with any other guy. I have a feeling if I got a chance to meet him things would be different. What do I do about this?
    So what's your regular RJ profile name... you know, the one with pictures?