Advertising your sexuality- good or bad?

  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Mar 22, 2012 1:51 AM GMT
    In senior year of high school, I let most ppl know I was into men. So practically the entire school knew that I was into men. I thought that doing this would make me more likely to find a guy to date. Some ppl say this was a bad thing because I was advertising my sexuality making it seem like i was only gay and that's all there was to me. I wanna open up more to ppl in college to increase the amount of opportunities I have of finding a bf, and I also want to be more of a positive role model of a masculine comfortable bisexual man to encourage the others to find pride and comfort in their sexuality. Now, I'm on the rugby team. One guy suggested that this would make me the "token queer" of the team if I just announced my sexuality to everyone. Still is it okay to advertise your sexuality? I want the best chance of finding a masculine guy, and I feel I should also set an example for an open comfortable friendly bisexual guy.
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:54 AM GMT
    easterndude69 saidAdvertising your sexuality- good or bad?
    It depends on how much you're charging, and when you're advertising. Just make sure you're advertising during prime times to target the most people. icon_biggrin.gif
  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Mar 22, 2012 4:58 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    easterndude69 saidAdvertising your sexuality- good or bad?
    It depends on how much you're charging, and when you're advertising. Just make sure you're advertising during prime times to target the most people. icon_biggrin.gif


    Lol u would u tool
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    Mar 22, 2012 5:25 AM GMT
    I don't let something as simple as my sexuality define who I am. I'm at the point in my life where I have never admitted to anyone that I am gay, but I know when I take that step I won't be ashamed and I won't be scared to admit it. I think the only time it'll have to come up is if somebody asks and that's about it.

    So in short, I don't think it's a terrible thing to advertise your sexuality, but I also don't think it's necessary all the time.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Mar 22, 2012 6:22 AM GMT
    Advertising may actually scare some guys off.

    Think of it this way, I get along fine with a lot of guys who are straight, but if things become hinged on their sexual identity and they can't keep off the topic, it turns me off. They become boring.

    If you are too obvious with the advertising, people will get bored and be frustrated because they want to know about all of you, not just that aspect. People these days tend to shy away from anything that bores them.
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    Mar 22, 2012 6:37 AM GMT
    I think its ok when ppl ask

    Its not like we see str8 guys introduce themselves like:

    "Hi I'm Mike I'm Straight"

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    Mar 22, 2012 6:50 AM GMT
    We should all advertise it like lions do.

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    lion_rctb-8626.jpg

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    4399056646_83fe6f6590.jpg

    dirty kittehs!
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    Mar 22, 2012 6:56 AM GMT
    As a business teacher with an MBA - before you advertise, you need to develop a marketing plan.

    Who is your target market?
    What is your branding strategy?
    What is your advertising budget?

    Important things...
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    Mar 22, 2012 7:15 AM GMT
    Exactly ! Before I reveal anything about myself/sexuality I always take into consideration my audience.

    If someone 'looks' overly backwards/uneducated then I will reveal very little information and would be unlikely to tell them that I'm into men.

    Give me someone quite young or a person who has quite liberal views then I'm more likely to open up and disclose things about myself, sometimes to a fault.

    You should really make an effort to figure people out so you decide who you can be candid with. We all have to play a 'role' sometimes, act in a way that is not truly honest but that's life and is necessary for social integration.
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    Mar 22, 2012 7:53 AM GMT
    All I can say is "Time & Place".
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    Mar 22, 2012 8:15 AM GMT
    In a perfect world you would not be defined by your sexuality.
    Like women and people of color...to many or most of the people inn the white male hetero world you are going to be looked at through the lens of being gay first and a man second.

    We like to think otherwise, but its one of those cold hard facts...at least for now

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    Mar 22, 2012 8:18 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidWe should all advertise it like lions do.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Mar 22, 2012 8:33 AM GMT
    i only advertise during the super bowl
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:23 PM GMT
    I'm new to this site but not new to who I am or life. I can't understand why being straight, gay or bi is such an issue or why people feel the need to tell perfect strangers their most intimate details. The people close enough to me to be called friends are aware of most everything about me otherwise, why would I care to share.
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:35 PM GMT
    If you advertise it and tell everyone when they don't care and didn't ask, you look like an attention whore. Needy and looking for someone to pay attention to you.

    As for find ing more guy. I doubt this would work. Again, you'll look like an attention seeker, total turn off.

    If a guy likes you he'll talk to you whether or not he thinks you're gay. Just like i'm sure you talk to cute guys regardless of whether or not you know they're gay.
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:48 PM GMT
    fasterpace saidI think its ok when ppl ask

    Its not like we see str8 guys introduce themselves like:

    "Hi I'm Mike I'm Straight"



    some do, but then they often end up being the ones who want to play on the DL.
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    Mar 22, 2012 5:39 PM GMT
    Just ease it into conversations if the topic would arise. Don't hold back or lie but don't bring it up unless the situation call for it. That's how I'd be if I were out, it's just like straight guys don't keep repeating "I'm straight."
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    Mar 22, 2012 6:03 PM GMT
    How do you learn acquaintances and friends are straight? By getting to know them over time and through natural, everyday conversation. They don't announce, "I'm straight." If you were to ask one of your fellow rugby players, "What are your plans this weekend?" He might say, "I have a date with this hot girl I met last weekend." You now know he is straight without him ever having to say the words. A coworker might say, "I'm going to be off on Friday. I have to take my wife to her doctor." You know he is straight without him ever having to announce it. We should do the same thing.
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    Mar 22, 2012 6:30 PM GMT
    onaquest saidAs a business teacher with an MBA - before you advertise, you need to develop a marketing plan.

    Who is your target market?
    What is your branding strategy?
    What is your advertising budget?

    Important things...
    Oh come on, business teacher. You know he has to first to some market research and then analyze the resulting data before coming up with a marketing plan!

    icon_razz.gif

    To answer the OP, for me it is on a need to know basis. I'll tell you if I feel you need to know.
  • mindblank

    Posts: 275

    Mar 22, 2012 6:32 PM GMT
    Hi OP

    I think that if you present yourself as a "token queer" (which to me makes me think of somebody who has only one aspect to them: being all about gay) and ONLY if you present yourself as a token queer, will you be seen as one.

    Why not forget about the fact you like other guys for a while, and focus on being a good team player and improving your rugby. Just be open so that if you're ever asked or if it becomes relevant or helpful to say that you're gay/bi in conversation, slide it into a sentence as though it's a non issue and don't labour the point if it's unwarranted. Just act normal. If they ask you anything about it, answer them but don't set out to dazzle with this amazing news; it's really not that amazing ;o)

    If you make yourself out to be different from the rest of them, and keep reiterating how gay/different you are from them, I think it might make things awkward. Ok some of them are sure to not care, some might be awkward, but if you define it from the beginning as a non-issue akin to having red hair, then they will only see it as that small part of you. They might even get round to teasing you about it in a friendly way - you'll know if it's friendly or not - I am sure they will see through it if you present it as just one small aspect of yourself.
  • mindblank

    Posts: 275

    Mar 22, 2012 6:36 PM GMT
    njmeanwhile said
    fasterpace saidI think its ok when ppl ask
    Its not like we see str8 guys introduce themselves like:
    "Hi I'm Mike I'm Straight"


    some do, but then they often end up being the ones who want to play on the DL.


    Lawls, so true.

    Ever heard anyone push their straightness who was actually straight?