My first (and last) "Is he gay" thread!

  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 22, 2012 5:55 AM GMT
    Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape, or form interested in getting with the man I am about to describe. I write this out of pure curiosity and would like to hear the interesting opinions of others. On a further note, I'd like to know if the actions of this man could be generalized for assuming (with caution of course) that other men are gay, so in the future I could have an idea of whether or not a man may be interested in meicon_exclaim.gif

    It goes like this,
    I have to work closely with a group of 8 others on a team project here at my school. It consists of 3 girls and 6 guys. 2 of these girls are very cute and I would imagine most men would be attracted to them. From all outward appearances all of the guys on my team seem hetero enough (I'm assuming I do as well since nobody has asked, or hinted at the fact if I am gay). After about the second week of working with my fellow team mates it struck me: One of my team mates seems to have slightly more interest in me than the rest of the members...and it isn't a girl.

    This blond, buzzed hair, green eyed boy pinged my gaydar for a few reasons. The first thing I noticed is that he is overtly nice to me. He laughs at my jokes (sometimes they aren't even jokes) pays special attention when I talk and always goes out of his way to say hi to me. I don't take niceness for granted and I know that there are some, purely by nature, nice people out there. He just adds that extra umph when it comes to me. Next, I noticed that he makes alot of eye contact with me. This isn't seductive....rather more inquisative as if he is wondering something (maybe if I'm gay..who knows lol). Also sometimes out of the corner of my eye I notice him gazing at me and I infer that he thinks I don't notice. He pays no attention to the cute dames on our team and has even gone as far as calling them "weird" behind their backs. I, on the other hand, do not find these ladies weird. Finally, and this is what really honked my horn, this kid seems rather flirtatious, yet a bit bashful around me. He makes little cutesy jokes that can sometimes include a little pat or arm nudge. He does this not with the other guys.

    Now I know that the only true way to know if a man is gay is to ask him and this is the general advice I give people. But sometimes it's interesting to know whether or not a seemingly hetero guy could in fact be gay without delving to much. Would you think this man is gay? Why or why not? And remember, I'm also interested in knowing if these signs can be generalized and correlated with other pontentially gay men that could have the hots. I'm not a shy guy, and if most people think these are homosexual actions, I would be the first to ask a man that I find attractive if he's into me....should he display the same sort of characteristics.


    Oh gay people........................always about the drama of life icon_rolleyes.gif
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 22, 2012 5:57 AM GMT
    Holy shit that's one metric fuck ton of writing. Sorry boysicon_eek.gif
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    Mar 22, 2012 12:39 PM GMT
    I once had this "is he gay?" thing with somebody I know.. I even made a thread about it.. many months later I found out he had been having sex with one of my (out) gay friends lol... Guess I saw the hints correctly lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 3:55 PM GMT
    Put your penis in hm.

    If he doesn't object, he might me gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 6:57 PM GMT
    I'd say it's a very strong possibility that he's gay and very interested in you. Alot of important keys here: doesn't pay attention to the girls, doesn't interact the same with the other guys, paying extra attention to you, and the touching and nudging.

    OR

    He might be someone who just feels comfortable around you. Maybe he's naturally a shy type of person and he just connected with you and is now a certain degree of clingy with you. His calling girls weird just might be his intentional distancing from girls either from his shyness or his fear of rejection or insecurity with them. If the other guys in your group act overly macho or whatever, he might feel insecurities with that as well. I have to say that this scenario probably happens more often than not.
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    Mar 22, 2012 7:03 PM GMT
    Haaretz saidPut your penis in hm.

    If he doesn't object, he might me gay.
    And if he does object, the OP may end up missing a penis!
  • jimbrody

    Posts: 7

    Mar 22, 2012 7:39 PM GMT
    Have you considered asking yourself: if it's not because he's gay and has a bit of a crush on me, what is the explanation for his behaviour?

    The only one I'd offer is that sometimes normal heterosexual young blokes can get a bit of a crush on someone who seems a bit more mature, socially confident, etc than themselves. It's part of the process of defining yourself as an man for many youngsters in their teens and early twenties.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 22, 2012 9:55 PM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    TheBizMan saidMy first "Is he gay" thread!

    ...one too many. icon_sad.gif


    Oh come on, play along...

    Anyway the bigger question still hasn't been answered.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 22, 2012 9:57 PM GMT
    Haaretz saidPut your penis in hm.

    If he doesn't object, he might me gay.

    Now there's a thought... I'll just go ahead n rape em. If he likes it then we have an answer I guess, if not...then I guess I have a bigger problem

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 9:57 PM GMT
    TheBizMan said
    yourname2000 said
    TheBizMan saidMy first "Is he gay" thread!

    ...one too many. icon_sad.gif


    Oh come on, play along...

    Anyway the bigger question still hasn't been answered.


    Well, there is no real answer until you ask him or he tells you. That's pretty simple.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 22, 2012 10:00 PM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ said
    TheBizMan said
    yourname2000 said
    TheBizMan saidMy first "Is he gay" thread!

    ...one too many. icon_sad.gif


    Oh come on, play along...

    Anyway the bigger question still hasn't been answered.


    Well, there is no real answer until you ask him or he tells you. That's pretty simple.


    But the point is, would you ask a man who's displaying these sorta signs? As in, is this abnormal behavior for a hetero?

    I suppose this could be boiled down to a yes or no answer, But I guess I'm looking for stories of people who've noticed these sort of signs and went with there gut. How did it turn out?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    I was in the same situation as you a few weeks ago with a guy from my school. The flirting, the nudging, the distaste for attractive women, I even caught him checking out my ass a few times. Turns out hes 100% str8 and a bit of a slut if anything.

    this new bromance thing has really fucked my gaydar.