Hot gay friend sending weird messages!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 11:47 AM GMT
    So I became friends with this hot gay guy that I met on campus through class, when he found out I was gay it became a little more than friends and he kept hitting on me and asking me to come drink with his friends (as an attempt to get to me) and "chill" late at night and when I would he would always try and do stuff with me.

    Anyway I gave in and we started to fool around and stuff. This would go on for a couple nights and then suddenly I wouldn't here from him anymore, he'd blow me off and wouldn't talk to me when I saw him with his friends and he would tell me I'm not his type and we would never hookup again this and that. Then a few weeks later I'd get drunk texts and calls from him to come over and mess around and again. I would, and then same thing, wouldn't here from him again for a few weeks and the whole you're not my type. Then sure enough a few weeks later hed start messaging me again to come over icon_question.gificon_confused.gif

    What do you think? I'm not sure if maybe hes just nervous and doesn't want his freinds to know which is why he ignores me around them, or if I'm really not his type and he just uses me as a last resort when he's horny and can't get anyone else because he knows I won't say no.

    When hes in his off face of not talking to me he wont even talk to me as a friend... I'll ask him to grab a beer or whatever but he wont even do that
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    Mar 22, 2012 12:20 PM GMT
    Sounds like you're just a booty call. Move on imo.
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    Mar 22, 2012 12:29 PM GMT
    Could be a little of both??? Have you spoke to about how you feel? If it's bothering you, you need to set boundaries about what you will and will not accept as far as how you allow yourself to be treated.

    Sounds to me like you may have feelings for him...
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    Mar 22, 2012 12:36 PM GMT
    joe_diesel1 saidCould be a little of both??? Have you spoke to about how you feel? If it's bothering you, you need to set boundaries about what you will and will not accept as far as how you allow yourself to be treated.

    Sounds to me like you may have feelings for him...


    Yeah I guess I kinda do... so it kinda bothers me that he was trying to get me for so long and so then when I realized it and gave him a chance and fooled around he got bored and wanted nothing to do with me. It's like he got what he wanted so then moved on.

    I tried telling him how I feel and he just brushes it off and ignored me or gets annoyed and said "Oh I don't like when guys like me or have feelings for me"
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    Mar 22, 2012 12:59 PM GMT
    I can't guess the reason he would act that way. Could just have been sex, could be he's afraid his buddies will know he's into dick (or any number or combination of things) BUT it doesn't matter....

    Don't allow yourself to be treated poorly.
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:12 PM GMT
    A typical fag, he got what he wanted now he moved on to some one else. Just like what gibby320 said, "Sounds like you're just a booty call. Move on imo."
  • Trauts

    Posts: 1012

    Mar 22, 2012 1:15 PM GMT
    This may not be what you want to hear, but he may just be not that into you, except for your booty. I agree with the other posters, you're probably just a booty call to him. Try not answering any of his calls and see what happens. You're better off without someone like him anyway icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:39 PM GMT
    gibby320 saidSounds like you're just a booty call. Move on imo.


    I agree, he seems to be using you when he gets really horny. Stay away from him or else you might end up hurting yourself.
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:45 PM GMT
    asnextdoor said
    gibby320 saidSounds like you're just a booty call. Move on imo.


    I agree, he seems to be using you when he gets really horny. Stay away from him or else you might end up hurting yourself.


    These guys are right. Move on. He's worthless.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 1:59 PM GMT
    Just sounds like normal dating life here in South Beach.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 2:02 PM GMT
    This is practically a textbook case of "you're just a booty call."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 2:28 PM GMT
    olorin said
    asnextdoor said
    gibby320 saidSounds like you're just a booty call. Move on imo.


    I agree, he seems to be using you when he gets really horny. Stay away from him or else you might end up hurting yourself.


    These guys are right. Move on. He's worthless.


    U guys are right, it does seem like a booty call which if thats the case I guess I could move on... the only thing that through me of though was if it was just a booty call why was he so persistent with trying to hangout and getting to know me
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    Mar 22, 2012 2:34 PM GMT
    CollegeDude27 said
    olorin said
    asnextdoor said
    gibby320 saidSounds like you're just a booty call. Move on imo.


    I agree, he seems to be using you when he gets really horny. Stay away from him or else you might end up hurting yourself.


    These guys are right. Move on. He's worthless.


    U guys are right, it does seem like a booty call which if thats the case I guess I could move on... the only thing that through me of though was if it was just a booty call why was he so persistent with trying to hangout and getting to know me


    Maybe the weak attempt at getting to know you lets him tell himself that you are friends or whatever, so that he can feel better about fucking you over.

    Or maybe he's a sociopath.
  • NYCAthlete

    Posts: 132

    Mar 22, 2012 2:34 PM GMT
    Agreed. He just wants to fool around. He starts blowing you off whenever you spend too much time together and he feels like it's becoming more.

    If he's hot and you like it, then use him for the same reason. No sense in wasting a guarantees hot hookup!

  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Mar 22, 2012 2:50 PM GMT
    Fuck that guy (figuratively) he's just using you when he's drunk and horny. Move on, you deserve better.
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    Mar 22, 2012 3:02 PM GMT
    As said above he is just using you. Dump him or use him as a booty call as well.

    or

    The next time he texts you ask him what has changed since last few times he said "you are not my type blah blah.." and don't fall for the "come here and i'll tell you" response. Reply with "lets discuss this during the daytime when you are sober. I'm off to bed now".

    or

    If he texts you at night, don't respond immediately. Reply the the next morning with a "hey just saw your text. whats up?" and only communicate to him during the daytime.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 22, 2012 3:05 PM GMT
    Sounds like he's saying you're good for a fuck, but as far as being considered "a friend" or to hang with as one of the group.... no.

    I don't think it is very helpful to your self esteem.. you had your initial fun.
    I would say, he isn't YOUR type and move on .. quickly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 3:36 PM GMT
    TellMe saidAs said above he is just using you. Dump him or use him as a booty call as well.

    or

    The next time he texts you ask him what has changed since last few times he said "you are not my type blah blah.." and don't fall for the "come here and i'll tell you" response. Reply with "lets discuss this during the daytime when you are sober. I'm off to bed now".

    or

    If he texts you at night, don't respond immediately. Reply the the next morning with a "hey just saw your text. whats up?" and only communicate to him during the daytime.


    See thats the thing i could never just call him up or text him to come over and fool around chill or whatever b/c hed get annoyed... it can only be on his terms when he feels like it and decides to call
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 3:53 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidSounds like he's saying you're good for a fuck, but as far as being considered "a friend" or to hang with as one of the group.... no.

    I don't think it is very helpful to your self esteem.. you had your initial fun.
    I would say, he isn't YOUR type and move on .. quickly.


    So you're saying he doesn't even want to be just simply platonic friends with nothing else either?
  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Mar 22, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    You became his doormat / booty call. Do you like it? Keep doing what you are doing. Don't like it? Stop running every time he feels horny.
  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Mar 22, 2012 3:59 PM GMT
    CollegeDude27 said
    HndsmKansan saidSounds like he's saying you're good for a fuck, but as far as being considered "a friend" or to hang with as one of the group.... no.

    I don't think it is very helpful to your self esteem.. you had your initial fun.
    I would say, he isn't YOUR type and move on .. quickly.


    So you're saying he doesn't even want to be just simply platonic friends with nothing else either?


    The real question is why do you want to be his friend?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 4:02 PM GMT
    CollegeDude27 saidit can only be on his terms when he feels like it and decides to call


    MASSIVE RED FLAG!!! You must move on now or be sujected to endless heart break.

    On a related note, YOU need to control YOUR life. This does not mean you can't fall in love but, it should be returned if you want to be happy. Grab the bull by the horns and start taking charge of your future without having to seek the approval of others. I can clearly tell you are a caring person and do not deserve to be in this position.
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    Mar 22, 2012 4:12 PM GMT
    CollegeDude27 said
    What do you think? I'm not sure if maybe hes just nervous and doesn't want his freinds to know which is why he ignores me around them, or if I'm really not his type and he just uses me as a last resort when he's horny and can't get anyone else because he knows I won't say no.


    You answered your own question. You're easy and won't say no. It's not that hard.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 5:11 PM GMT
    Either remove yourself from his situation or continue to be used and be lost in a fog of confusion...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    CollegeDude27 saidSee thats the thing i could never just call him up or text him to come over and fool around chill or whatever b/c hed get annoyed... it can only be on his terms when he feels like it and decides to call
    Don't call him if you don't want to. But you don't have to do things on his terms only. When he texts you to come over, say no and that you cant and maybe some other time but not today. Or as I mentioned earlier, delay your response until much later of the next morning. You don't owe him an immediate/quick response, do you?

    If you let him walk all over you then you are to blame as well. You need to take some personal responsibility for the situation as well since you are enabling him.

    The situation wont change unless you take charge of it and take some action towards a result you want.