I feel uncomfortable around straight guys... Is this normal?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2012 1:10 AM GMT
    I noticed I am very nervous and uncomfortable around straight guys and find it hard to get close to them. Usually its straight guys uncomfortable around gay men but for me its the other way around.

    I am not out to everyone and most of the guys I know don't know my sexuality and I think the reason I am so uncomfortable around them is because I am afraid they are going to get vibes that I am gay and are going to hate and judge me for it.

    Because of of this, as I have mentioned in another thread although I have many male aquaintances, I don't have many close male friends or buddies and now that I am getting older I wish I could change that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2012 1:12 AM GMT
    Usually it's closeted guys uncomfortable around gay men. Sounds like you're just uncomfortable with yourself.
    The only person who can change that is you. And time. Cause it doesn't happen overnight.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 25, 2012 1:15 AM GMT
    Not all straight guys hate gays, and most would prefer you be yourself than lie about it.
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    Mar 25, 2012 1:40 AM GMT
    You already know that the route of the problem stems from you. I suggest socializing more with straight guys to get over your uncomfortableness (this strategy works for most kinds of social anxiety).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2012 1:45 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidNot all straight guys hate gays, ...
    Actually it's only the closeted gay guys who hate gays.
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    Mar 25, 2012 2:17 AM GMT
    Though I don't share your feelings, I understand & in the past have shared them.

    I work in what is pretty much a male & "redneck" industry in the south. It has taken time for me to become comfortable but, at this point I have many straight male friends, some that are aware, some that are not. In fact, I have few gay/bi friends that I'm aware of... Have you recently decided you are coming out?
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    Mar 25, 2012 2:41 AM GMT
    I think we give straight people more power than they deserve.

    I used to feel this way a lot, until I accepted that straight people weren't any "better" than I was - and that they have insecurities of their own.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2012 3:27 AM GMT
    Meet people one at a time and don't prejudge them. Contrary to what you may hear, most straight men aren't fag bashing bigots. I have 8 straight jock buddies who fish, play golf, play rugby, love football and pussy and beer. And they don't sit around judging/hating on gay men like the fringe Religio-Republicans would have you believe.

    Also realize, you may be the only gay guy your friends know. Make your relationships about more than them just accepting your gayness. Make your friendships about YOU.
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Mar 25, 2012 5:29 AM GMT
    To be honest, I'm not sure I even understand your question. Sorry for my slowness dude.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2012 5:31 AM GMT
    Heterophobia?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2012 9:02 AM GMT
    joe_diesel1 saidThough I don't share your feelings, I understand & in the past have shared them.

    I work in what is pretty much a male & "redneck" industry in the south. It has taken time for me to become comfortable but, at this point I have many straight male friends, some that are aware, some that are not. In fact, I have few gay/bi friends that I'm aware of... Have you recently decided you are coming out?


    Yes I have decided little by little... 'm tired of playing the game of pretending to be straight.